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-BHS-Snowdog
14th Sep 2000, 01:29 PM
Am I the only guy who thinks it's wrong to have to stand next to another guy while he does his business? Should I question my manliness because I get 'gun shy' in such situations? Does anybody else agree that business meetings should NOT be conducted in the bathroom? Have you ever told somebody walking out ahead of you to get their ass BACK there and WASH their damn hands before they grab ahold of the door handle? Why isn't there some sort of Federal regulation that speaks to proper ventilation in a public restroom?

el Gato
14th Sep 2000, 01:41 PM
Hehe, then I have something that you may find entertaining. It's a little executable quiz on public bathroom usage, all about urinal placement. I'll try to post it later, but I may have to upload the file to the 'net. Not sure on the size, but e-mail may be possible (I got it from a friend that way)

Let me know if you'd want to see it, I can attempt either transfer!

Goughmezz
14th Sep 2000, 01:48 PM
Bathroom neuroticism:

1) I ALWAYS if I have to wipe the rim of the toilet seat with a soapy paper towel and dry it before sitting down.

2) I HATE taking a dump when someone else is in there with me (I like my privacy).

3) I always wash my hands afterwards.

I also was in a public restroom in a movie theater once and you know where they placed the sinks with the big mirrors in front of them? Directly in view of the urinals (which did NOT have dividers in between) so when you looked up from washing you hands, you get a bunch of c*cks to stare at! lol!! My thought as I walked out the bathroom was "Who the f*ck designed THAT layout!"

BillyBadAss
14th Sep 2000, 02:02 PM
It's all about layers of toilet paper. You have to make sure that you have the seat covered and your ass protected. Some bathrooms you have to squat since they are so bad.

[BuF]Wacky
14th Sep 2000, 02:25 PM
Nah... I always crouch so that I don't actually have to sit on the toilet. I can also take a dump in less than 90 secs (The length of time I can hold my breath.) ;)

I couple of weeks ago in college I was in taking a dump and I was annoyed since it was a runny one. Anyway, to my horror there was no bog roll so I had to kinda shimmy my way out of one cubical and into the other with my trousers around my ankles (someone walked in just as I was closing the door... I hope they didn't see me)

BillyBadAss
14th Sep 2000, 02:30 PM
Awwwaah!! I bet they saw your fecal ass!:D

CHRYSt
14th Sep 2000, 02:31 PM
I just poo wherever I am, and save it to be flushed later.

Morety
14th Sep 2000, 02:53 PM
m0's

wear diapers.

;)

Gato, I've seen that one. Put the "x" by the urinal you would take if certain ones were occupied. That was cool. :)

lunchblaze
14th Sep 2000, 04:48 PM
dudes, i don't much worry about the public pee thing -
as i swing wicked babyarm. WOOHOOOOOOOO!




out.

Wolf Blackstar
14th Sep 2000, 06:24 PM
Ever notice that a few years ago, you had real urinals with dividers, but now, with today's "modern" layouts, you walk in, and there's nothing but a long row of bowls the size of ashtrays to "do your business" in?

One time, I was in there a long time - think the pee scene in the first "Austin Powers" - and while I'm in there, 5 guys in a row come in, one by one, and when they're done, each and every one of them walks out without even coming near the sink. Bleck.

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garrett
15th Sep 2000, 02:56 AM
i go in the urinal farthest away from people, and like triple layer the toilet seats when i go, other wise just go poo on the floor :D

Morety
15th Sep 2000, 11:51 AM
I was in Alice Fazooli's one night drinking some beers with a lady friend (back when I was single).

I went into the bathroom which was empty, and started going pee. Someone followed in shortly behind me and started peeing at another urinal. Well, I had a couple in me, and I've been holding some gas for quite a bit, as I didn't wanna fart in front of my friend. So I said "You don't mind if I fart, do you?". He says, "No, go right ahead". Well, I let out about 30 minutes of held gas out in about 3 seconds. It sounded like someone tore a hole in the Goodyear blimp. So the guys says "Now THAT was a fart!". I responded by saying "Yeah, but now I lost all my back pressure and I can't pee anymore!".

Well, the other guys starts laughing his ass off, and so I started laughing too. I turned around and looked, and sure enough it was Buck Martinez. (He was a catcher for the Blue Jays and is now the TV commentator for them.) What a riot. Ended up shooting the shiznit with him for about a half hour after that.

Gir
15th Sep 2000, 12:01 PM
That's Frickin Funny!!

Goughmezz
15th Sep 2000, 12:32 PM
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Good story. =)

Gir
15th Sep 2000, 02:08 PM
I just told it to my friends, during supper (Yes, seven o'clock over here). They had a good laugh too.
I had to go to the bathroom during the desert (I really had to). Of course, since that is not one of the most polite things to do I just said:
"I'm sorry boyz and gals, but maybe if I can get rid of some back pressure, I can push some more rice (what we were eating) in my stomach."
Of course I wasn't really being that funny at all, but when I sat on the toilet I farted quite loudly. I could hear my friends laugh for the next ten minutes or something..

Troll|PuF
15th Sep 2000, 03:15 PM
You guys are funny :) You'd have a big problem in San Francisco, where a lot of the bathrooms in bars and clubs are Unisex.

So for instance, at the club I go to on Saturday nights , there is one bathroom. You go in, and you'll be at the mirror putting on your makeup and there's a guy not 5 feet from you , peeing. And of course there's usually a guy on the other side of you also putting on his makeup but that's besides the point.

And at some bars when it gets really crowded, girls will go in the guys bathroom because frankly women take TOO DAMN LONG in there and after 3 Coronas, you will pee anywhere.

BillyBadAss
15th Sep 2000, 03:21 PM
I went to this club over New Year's in New York called The Lime Light. The bathrooms there were like it except they had stalls. They had this weird mesh stuff on the doors that you could only see out.

-[BHS]-Redfrost
15th Sep 2000, 03:27 PM
That mesh must have played some weird mind games with you huh? I can just imagine sitting there trying to take a dump and you just get the feeling that all the people outside the door can see you because you can see them. I don't know about you, but I'd have a tough time with that!

-BHS-Snowdog
15th Sep 2000, 03:42 PM
Unisex bathrooms? Stalls you can see OUT of?

/me shudders.

I don't even let my wife talk to me when I'm in there. Ah well, if this is the worst of my neuroses, I'm probably doing OK.

Wolf Blackstar
17th Sep 2000, 10:37 AM
Hey Morety, great story.....]LoL[ is proud to have a captain who farts with the pro's. :D

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Boom
17th Sep 2000, 12:53 PM
Snowdog, you are just poop-shy. Nothing wrong with that. I am poop-shy too. I recently tried to convince the Boomette that I don't ever poop. I just don't want her thinking about me that way. She almost died laughing. She was like, "Don't you realize that sound travels?? Not only do I know that you poop, I know all your poop sounds, there is the beginning part, then a little break before the middle part..." That is when I cut her off, "OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!!! I don't wanna hear you talk about that! You must have been imagining all that because I don't poop!" She is probably still laughing about that one. I'm also pee-shy. Why is it that girls always want to play fireman and "aim" for you? It doesn't matter how bad I gotta pee, it won't start flowing until she leaves the room.

BTW, Morety, that story really really cracked me up. Check the new sig. :D

ShinyObject
17th Sep 2000, 01:40 PM
I only get poop-shy if it's stinky poop or liquid poop.

Morety
17th Sep 2000, 11:59 PM
Hahahaha, I'm on Boom's sig. :D

They wanna play fireman with your hose because they can't. Just pinch it for a few seconds while you're letting it out, the un-pinch it and it'll make a real manly thunderous sound.

I like the way she could commentate a play by play.. There's the beginning...a pause...a holding of the breath prior to the big grunt... LOL

I couldn't handle a unisex bathroom. That's freaky.

L_S
18th Sep 2000, 12:11 AM
I couldnt handle a unisex bathroom. I'm freaky.

Morety
11th Jan 2001, 01:43 PM
Apparently there's some bar here in Toronto where there's a two way mirror above the urinals. You sit there looking out over the dance floor whilst squirting. That would be cool. :)

And btw, Buck Martinez is now the Manager of the Blue Jays since we fired Fregosi.

The Dopefish
11th Jan 2001, 03:28 PM
That is a good story Moret(y).

Merlin|BuF
12th Jan 2001, 12:27 AM
funnest sh*t ever Mortey my sis was on the phone and had to tell me to shut up I was laughing so loud

I'm pee-shy I can't stand it when someone is near me or watching me or talking to me

as for p00ping I don't use public restrooms for that particular bodily function. :D

Kray
12th Jan 2001, 03:49 AM
Great stories guys, it sure made me laugh a few times. :)

Though I'm not pee-shy, I am p00p shy. I simply cannot go if there's people in the same room. I'd hold and wait until they leave. Normally I would try and avoid p00ping at public restrooms, but in cases of emergencies, I'd put at least 2 layers of toilet paper around the seat.

Hey I've used to have that urinal program, it was hilarious. I got all answers correct, coz it that's what I would've done in real life. I'll check if I still have that lil prog.

Kray
12th Jan 2001, 04:46 AM
w00t!! I found the urinal.exe program in my outlook archive. But the problem is, geocities won't me upload an .exe file. Any ideas on how I can put this program on the web so that you guys can try it out?

EDIT: I tried re-naming the file to urinal.ex1 , urinal.jpg but still can't. :(


[Edited by Kray on January 12th, 2001 at 05:13 AM]

Morety
12th Jan 2001, 11:49 AM
email it to morety@legionoflions.com

I've got my own webspace, and will give it a try tonight or tomorrow. :)

I love the microphone in the washroom thing. That would be hilarious in a bar. I had an idea much like that a long time ago, only it was the other way. I was having a party at my house, and wanted to hook up some speakers in the washroom. Then, when someone went in, I was going to blast some wicked bathroom sounds through the speakers, and get a lineup of people to clap for whoever the poor git was that was in there "making" all that noise. :D

Kray
13th Jan 2001, 11:42 AM
Morety, did you get it yet?

Morety
13th Jan 2001, 07:30 PM
Okay I got it Kray :) I'm going to try and upload it later tonight.

Morety
13th Jan 2001, 08:01 PM
Try playingThe Urinal Game (http://members.home.net/emoreton/pictures/Urinal.exe)

Morety
15th Jan 2001, 12:54 AM
Okay, I'm bumping this up. Kray goes through the trouble to get me the urinal game, I go through the trouble to post it up, I want someone to play it!

I got them all right except the last one.

ShinyObject
22nd Feb 2001, 01:07 AM
Originally posted by Morety
Well, I let out about 30 minutes of held gas out in about 3 seconds. It sounded like someone tore a hole in the Goodyear blimp. So the guys says "Now THAT was a fart!". I responded by saying "Yeah, but now I lost all my back pressure and I can't pee anymore!".


That m0rety, always the showman. :)

Allison
22nd Feb 2001, 01:44 AM
Ha! I got them all right! Except the last one, of course. that one was a toughie. :)

And BTW, No one gets to complain about public restrooms until they've gone poopie in a downtown market of Calcutta. THEN you can complain. Let me tell you, there's a reason why they only eat with their right hands. :D

Morety
22nd Feb 2001, 02:11 AM
Goshen's learning the cellar dwellar bumping business these days I see :D

ShinyObject
22nd Feb 2001, 02:46 AM
You gotta keep the good times Rollin'!

Sapphire Nights
14th Jul 2001, 12:28 AM
So what happens if you accidentally look at another guys thingy and he catches you? :p

tarquin
14th Jul 2001, 03:55 AM
^^^ the Urinella(TM) returns!!!!

What really annoys me is public loos where the men's side has NO cubicles! "No, guys don't poop! even if we ever do, we're so manly we can squeeze it out through---" ahem.
That and when there's no soap on the guys side. It's not so bad wheen they loos in the middle of nowhere thaat have no staff, but in York there's one that has an attendant, the girls side is clean & soaped, the guys side smells and is soapless. :mad:

Then there's the way that the actual toilet bowl is designed that can cause the Dreaded Dangle Problem... but that's major enough for a future thread all to itself :)

superSponge
14th Jul 2001, 04:29 AM
All these urinal stories makes me think mine isnt that good but here goes. one day (this is like when i was 6 years old) my dad took me to a biker bar with him. they were havin some pork cookout and i have to take a major dump. i ran in there t find a shower IN THE BATHROOM. i didnt wanna know why it was there. well in the middle of my dump some guy bangs on the door, hey open up in there i gotta sh*t!. well i wasnt done! and there was NO TOLIET PAPER. i shouldve checked for that first but i was young and naive. now i got this biker guy screamin at me,i got a poop stick halfway out my ass with no toilet paper. so i just force it out and my face turns red. felt like my ******* got ripped open. i walked out with a reddish look on my face as everyone in the bar stared at me.

KliwX
14th Jul 2001, 10:51 AM
You guys that' can't dump if someone is in the same room, you can never been in the military. The toilets there is like 10 in a row with only enough protection so that will only see the feet. Every single sound can still be heard all along the row....

(All shower are in another room of course. However, ladies share the same beedhalls, toilets AND showers, so in the swedish military you better be able to control your little friend "downstairs" because most of the females that volunteered for duty are NOT shy....)