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CHRYSt
11th Sep 2000, 04:41 PM
By Liquid Sin,


I love the short yellow school bus! Riding the bus is fun! I ride the bus to school every day, but I also ride the bus to other places, too. When I go on trips with Miss Lang and everybody in the special-needs class, we all get on the bus and go to the zoo or the planetarium. One time, we ate pizza at Pizza Hut, and we took the bus then, too. And you know what? Someday, I'm going to drive the bus myself! Sometimes, when I am on the bus, I hold my Dallas Cowboys hat in my hands and turn it and pretend that I am driving the bus. Sometimes, even when I am not on the bus, I also think about driving the bus, too. Even when I am sleeping, sometimes I have a dream that I'm driving the bus, and when I wake up, I am sad that I woke up and am not driving the bus anymore.

Right now, I am only 13. But when I get older, I am going to be a grown-up and get a job as the bus driver. But I have to be a grown-up first. When you're a grown-up, you get a driver license with your picture on it. My older brother Mark said I don't need to worry about getting a driver license, because he will take me anywhere I want. But that is silly! I am going to get my own driver license and drive the bus! Mark reminded me what happened with my bicycle last year and said that maybe driving the bus isn't a good idea. But I know I can do it! I can drive the bus! I just need to work extra, extra, extra, extra hard! I'm going to always pay attention in my Skills For Living class. And I'm going to do all the exercises with Mr. Festge when he comes in for Motor-Coordination Hour. Even when I want to go look out the window at the lawn-mower man instead of sitting at my desk and doing my clock worksheet, I won't. I'll sit in my seat and be extra, extra, extra, extra good.

Daryl W. was in our class last year, but he graduated at the end of the year because he was 18. He got to wear a graduation dress and walk up on the stage, and Mr. Culver gave him a book, and everybody in the whole place cheered. Now Daryl W. works at the grocery store, and he gets to use a sprayer and spray off the vegetables so they stay green. Just like Daryl W., I'm going to get a job when I'm older. Only my job is going to be being the bus driver! Right now, our bus driver is Mr. Timmons. And he gets paid for driving the bus! But it's so fun driving the bus, I would do it for
free! Someday, it will be me being nice to all the kids on the bus and calling them "Mr." and "Mrs." to be funny. It will be me who helps everyone get their boots on and yells, "Look at the chickens!" when we drive past the ostrich farm. Every day on the bus, I am watching carefully so that when it is my job to drive the bus, I will remember which tree to turn at. When I am the bus driver, I'll get t! To wear a blue jacket that says "Timmy" on it, just like the one Mr. Timmons wears. I'll keep it very clean and never put it on the floor of the bus where it can get dirty. I'll never leave a sandwich in the pocket, either, unless I plan to eat it that same day. I'll get to go and pick up all of my friends on the bus. Only, we won't just go where it says on the schedule. We'll get to go wherever we want, because I will be driving! If we see a dog on the side of the road, somebody will say, "Pull over!" and I
will pull over, and we will all get out and pet the dog or even take him for a ride if he wants to go. I would go fast around the corners because it makes everybody laugh when their knapsacks fall on the floor. And when we go over the railroad tracks, I won't be a slow poke and stop even though there is no train coming.

On Monday, I will drive to Hawaii, and on Tuesday, I will drive to the Super Bowl. And on all the other days, I will drive other places, too! At the end of the day, I will drive the bus back to the place where they keep all the buses at night, the place I saw when I fell asleep in the back of the bus that time. And I would get to look at all the buses in a row! I told my teacher Mr. Reese that I want to be a bus driver. He said maybe instead I should think about working at the Walgreens or feeding animals at the pet store. I said, 'No! I want to drive the bus!' He said that maybe I should get a job cleaning the buses, which he said is a very important job because if no one cleans the buses, no one will want to ride on them. What a silly-billy! Doesn't he know what a bus driver does? He drives the bus! Being a bus driver is the only thing I want to
do in the whole wide world! I can't wait!

GunnerX
11th Sep 2000, 04:43 PM
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn... what a great way to end the day.. :D

0 mins..
later..

L_S
11th Sep 2000, 04:50 PM
Hey a guy can dream cant he?

SkummyB|BuF
11th Sep 2000, 05:15 PM
ROFLMAO too damn funny :)

L_S
11th Sep 2000, 05:54 PM
This is the morning we went to Pizza Hut. I had another one of my seizures that day. I like going on field trips. All my shirts are yellow...just like the bus.
http://www.httpcity.com/l_s4pres/meog.jpg

SkummyB|BuF
11th Sep 2000, 06:00 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA
ROFLMAO
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
too damn funny
:D

Rodzilla
11th Sep 2000, 06:02 PM
That's hillarious, both the original post and LS' post. :)

CHRYSt
11th Sep 2000, 08:56 PM
You aren't wearing your helmet. You know you'll never be allowed to drive da bus if you don't wear your helmet.

Morety
11th Sep 2000, 09:05 PM
LOL

L_S
11th Sep 2000, 10:06 PM
Doctor Newman says I am special. They don't have any helmets that fit my head. He's making a special helmet just for me. He's gonna make it yellow...just like the bus! Maybe then everybody will stop calling me fatty fat fat head. Oh boy..that Meat Lover's pizza sure was good.

L_S
11th Sep 2000, 10:50 PM
See yellow! Just like the bus! Can I drive now CHRYSt? Can I? Huh? The kids dont call me fatty fat fat head anymore. Hey CHRYSt, hey CHRYSt..I didnt get your joke about the silver medal thing. They put sausage and pepperoni and sausage and ham and sausage and sausage on that pizza ya know. The kids call me Donny Dildo Head now...my name isnt Donny ya know.

http://www.httpcity.com/l_s4pres/me2og.jpg

hal
12th Sep 2000, 12:08 AM
OH MY GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE ****1NG UP IN HERE!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D:D

That's the funniest kermit pic I've ever seen, CHRYSt. And L_S, that's freaikn hilarious! You're mommy and daddy have to be so proud.

CHRYSt
12th Sep 2000, 01:25 AM
Here you go, Mr. Donny.

/me hands L_S a toy bus with no sharp edges or small parts.

You can practice with this.

Rodzilla
12th Sep 2000, 04:34 PM
ROFLMAO!
This thread is the funniest thing I've ever seen!!
:):):):):):):):):

hal
29th Nov 2000, 12:44 AM
always a classic and good for a *bump* :)

I_B_Bangin
29th Nov 2000, 12:48 AM
LOL, good choice for a bump hal!

OshadowO
29th Nov 2000, 06:42 AM
LMAO, good ol fashioned OT humour

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
6th Feb 2001, 09:27 AM
Gives all the sPEciAl people that have been hanging out in #pu recently a role model :D

SkummyB|BuF
6th Feb 2001, 09:30 AM
"sPEciAl " as in "dARrkREapeR"? :D

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
6th Feb 2001, 09:39 AM
Self incrimination is against the EU's human rights

el Gato
6th Feb 2001, 12:39 PM
This thread rocks! Nice bumpage.

I think a TCD void needs filled here - something along the lines of "This thread has been resurrected for your enjoyment". Something like that. :)

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
6th Feb 2001, 12:44 PM
That would be a pretty sweet TCD.
I think something involving the picture of L_S in the yellow hat would work pretty well as well :D

Rodzilla
6th Feb 2001, 12:46 PM
/me pisses on skummy

ZenPirate
6th Feb 2001, 05:15 PM
that's TOO damn funny

SimplyCosmic
6th Feb 2001, 05:52 PM
I think a TCD void needs filled here - something along the lines of "This thread has been resurrected for your enjoyment". Something like that

I guess that would be the good twin to:

http://meisterplanet.com/images/planetunrealpics/tcds/gueststars/olderthandirted.png



The revised TCD Musuem is halfway done.

http://meisterplanet.com/images/planetunrealpics/sigs/scsig23.jpg

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
6th Feb 2001, 06:08 PM
The guy whose in the "Older than dirted" TCD look like he rides the bus as well. :D

Rodzilla
6th Feb 2001, 06:10 PM
lol, I agree:)

garrett
6th Feb 2001, 09:08 PM
how can you not call this an instant classic since chryst posted that a while ago


this absolutely owns nutz ROFL!!

i laugh every single time i read the damn thing

CHRYSt
6th Feb 2001, 09:56 PM
Well, I'm glad I could be of service. :)

Don't make me activate the kiddie whapper!

Boom
6th Feb 2001, 10:18 PM
oooo service me with that kiddy whapper!

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
7th Feb 2001, 04:31 AM
http://meisterplanet.com/images/planetunrealpics/tcds/offical/revenantized.png

You do realise that showing your sig is optional?

SkummyB|BuF
7th Feb 2001, 07:23 AM
hmmmmmmmmm - the forum isn't letting me vote for this thread? any suggestions?

[Ci]Mazza
7th Feb 2001, 11:04 AM
Click the right thing skummy? :) This thread kicks ass, it inspires me to ride the bus one day with the other special people ;) I have to wear a straight jacket and travel in a small cart at the moment, they say i'm too violent to be with the other kids.

Rodzilla
7th Feb 2001, 04:14 PM
That TCD needs to be changed from Rev'd to DarkReaper'd:D

Happy now? :)
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Merlin|BuF
16th Apr 2001, 04:58 PM
BUMP!!

HEHE
That was damn funny cHYRST

Syri
16th Apr 2001, 05:49 PM
quality bumpage!

this thread is so damn freakin funny!

The Dopefish
16th Apr 2001, 07:00 PM
If this thread were popular, it would stay up near the top. ;)

ZenPirate
16th Apr 2001, 07:17 PM
this thread has been marked as evidence in the missing PuFer case involving the aledged "bus driver" aka-LiquiD_SiN,subject was last seen leaving a local seven eleven parking lot with said bus,carrying a blue slurpie and two packages of gummy bears.

Rodzilla
16th Apr 2001, 08:27 PM
Why couldn't you just say "This thread 0wnz, *bump*" instead of making that up;)

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
17th Apr 2001, 03:24 AM
It shows a use of wit and intelligence, rather than the moronic "bump" bollox that crops up everytime certain people get bored.
If you're going to bump a thread at least add something appropriate to it (as ZenPirate did).

CHRYSt
17th Apr 2001, 08:31 AM
sp0rk!

It's my thread. I can spam it as I wish. :)

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
17th Apr 2001, 05:04 PM
You get away with it because you have what appears to be a weird blonde girl running in your sig :D

CHRYSt
18th Apr 2001, 12:28 AM
Ack! That blonde girl be Bubbles, the Love and the Laughter of the PowerPuff Girls. i'd be careful not to piss her off. She can talk to squirrels.

Lizard Of Oz
18th Apr 2001, 01:19 AM
She can talk to squirrels.

Who can't?

Mute
18th Apr 2001, 11:56 AM
My best friend in the whole world is a squirrel.

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
4th May 2001, 10:03 AM
Thats not a squirrel, its a pocket monkey in disguise :D
You can tell by the way it holds onto your finger rather than trying to

a) eat it

b) hump it

BTW L_S - sort out those img links - all I see is little red crosses (geocities being a bunch of arse again I guess)

GunnerX
9th May 2001, 10:31 AM
Just a Little bump to those who missed it :D

Oh yeah... :Poop:

Rodzilla
9th May 2001, 03:49 PM
How many bumps does this thing have in it!?:D

CHRYSt
9th May 2001, 04:42 PM
More than Liquid_Sin's head after a day without his helmet. :D

Rodzilla
9th May 2001, 04:49 PM
ROFL!:D

LordKhaine
9th May 2001, 06:05 PM
I told ya gunner would bump this thread today :)

Rodzilla
9th May 2001, 08:45 PM
Well...this reminds me of something

Our school volleyball team was on the way to a match(they were riding a bus there), and they started making jokes about eachother. Soon they got to short bus jokes(you rode the short bus, your mom rode the short bus...etc..). After about a minute of this, one of the girls on the bus said "stop that, my brother rides the short bus." You could've heard a pin drop for the next 5 minutes, rofl.

CHRYSt
10th May 2001, 12:34 AM
I had someone do that. Try to be all indignant about my utter un-PCness about short busses. I think it was pretty much the same. "My brother rides the shoret bus."

I think my response was something to the effect of "Shut up filpper baby, or I'll tell the bus driver you're not wearing your helmet."

AriTheDog
10th May 2001, 02:40 AM
i wanna do chryst's story as a monologue, kids in the hall style! can i? can i?

CHRYSt
10th May 2001, 01:02 PM
Go for it.

Just give credit where credit's due. :)

MoyDoy
10th May 2001, 01:17 PM
I remember reading this thread and laughing my head off.

Kermit was mentioned on the front page of this thread...I loved that animation:)

AriTheDog
10th May 2001, 06:56 PM
gotcha... hey, if ya got a real name you want credited, give me a private message or something...

Morety
10th May 2001, 09:14 PM
AriTheDog,

If you want his best material, try this. (http://forums.planetunreal.com/showthread.php?postid=41654&highlight=sheep#post41654)

AriTheDog
11th May 2001, 02:21 AM
gotcha morety, thanks

AriTheDog
11th May 2001, 02:30 AM
jeezus fulkin chryst you're a genius! wow! who'da thought the sheep story would have worked?! art mirrors life, i guess... and i thought those bestiality faq's were good... i'm going to complain.

i can't imagine anyone could tell stories with a more serious, true to life method. wow!

GunnerX
14th May 2001, 10:07 AM
Bwahahaha... PuF has tons of those.. With people like m0rety and CHRYSt around, it's expected.. ;)

Hhhmmm.. I guess you can consider this a *BUMP*

CHRYSt
14th May 2001, 10:24 AM
Dig around, and you may just find what you're looking for. :)

Morety
14th May 2001, 02:18 PM
LOL,

If you spend some time in the cellar searching for words like lol, roflmao, sick, etc etc you'll come up with some real gems.

Here's one from Lizard of Oz (http://forums.planetunreal.com/showthread.php?threadid=7723&highlight=feck) called 'True Story' which had me lmfnao driving home from work and almost had me driving off the road just thinking about it.

Syri
24th May 2001, 05:29 PM
I figured it was about time for a bump on this thread

Morety
24th May 2001, 09:20 PM
Yeah, it's been almost two weeks already!