View Full Version : the story of the starship 'uss eternaty'

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31st Jul 2000, 10:06 AM
captains log sart date 234567.8:

as this is the first day of my new ship -cuse the other 1 has gone down with the old forums- i have decided to ask if ne of my fellow PuFFeRs would like to join me on our never ending quest.
wile i wait for there responces i walk tru my new ship in search of my second in command Vortex.
when i see him i'll ask him if he has heard of the nw mission ahaed of us.
for now i hope that enought people will add in our eternal quest.
CaSCaDe out.

Captains log suplemantal:

if u want to join us here r the things u need to know.
1. al messages must be in the form of a log entry.
2. you can not make logs like the captains or commander.
3. if a rank has been taken u can not make log like that rank.
4. the story goes as the officers of this ship feel like.
5. u can give the story ne twist u like aslong as it stays interesting!! (so no spamming)

well that is about it!!
o yeah before u enter this story read all the posts so u can see what rank is open!
if your not sure u can always ask for a rank!
CaSCaDe out.

31st Jul 2000, 10:13 AM
personal log, stardate 51627,2

I was just assigned to the newest and finest ship in our fleet: The USS Eternaty. As I walk through the endless corridors seeking a rank and mission I can't see anyone of the crew and senior officers. I will talk to the Captain about this...

31st Jul 2000, 10:20 AM
Captains log suplamental:

as i have come acros our new addition to our crew -8472-
i hope he would like to accept the rank as tactical officer.
if not he should state his request for an other rank and i'll consider it.

fo now tactical officer 8472, welcome aboard.
CaSCaDe out.

31st Jul 2000, 11:23 AM
Tactical Officer's log, stardate 52136,3

I'm now TO on this ship. This is a good position, with prospects for promotion and I'm looking forward to my upcoming taks. During Captain Cascade's absence I'm the acting Captain, as we still don't have an approbriate crew!
I will send a message to central command and asks for more people.

TO's log supplemental

I noticed a problem concerning our ship's name! Shouldn't that be "USS Eternity". Perhaps the Captain typed this wrong

Computer: end log. Tactical Officer Lt.Cmd. 8472 out.

31st Jul 2000, 12:17 PM
MoyDoy´s log, stardate: 850402.5

Ex-evil spam pirate MoyDoy asks for permission to join the crew of USS Etarnaty (great name, the typo should stay)

31st Jul 2000, 02:05 PM
Skummiesters personal log stardate: 31337

My shuttle craft has crashlanded on a nearby asteriod, I am currently requesting permission to join the good ship USS Etarnaty.

31st Jul 2000, 03:15 PM
USS Etarnaty's log. TO and Acting Captain 8472. Stardate 35657.2

The ship is still in the Veredian III spacedock and we I'm waiting for new orders.
A new crewmen is willing to join. He is a spam pirate calling himself MoyDoy. If the Captain doesn't decide s.th. else I make him our new science officer with the rank of a Lieutenant Commander. Welcome on board.

Stardate 35687.1. Supplemental

We received a distress signal from the Arkanis system. Skumboy crashed on a small asteroid and wants to join us.
However I have no permission to leave the spacedock now.
Moreover we don't have a Chief Engineer, and going on warp speed without one, might destroy the machines.

31st Jul 2000, 09:26 PM
Mr Skums log stardate: 69

I have just recieved word that the Etarnaty will not be able to rescue me for another day at least, things are looking dire.

1st Aug 2000, 04:58 AM
Captains log stardate 5473829.3:

in my absence my TO 8472 has been a promising replace captain.
but i must regret to inform him that the rank of commander.
(nr.1) is allready taken by Vortex.
he has been a great help on our previous ship and i have give him the privalage to be second in command.

now to moydoy, if u want u can have the rank of chief engineer. if u do not like this position please form a officail request for an other post.

as to the situation of skumboy, i have decided to send out a rescue mission whit our new prototype omegaflyer.
i have assigned my TO to take this mission on him.

[personal entry]
i hope that all goes well, i hate to loose good man especialy with this sjkaar treat coming up.
[end of personal entry]

i will have to ask all of my senior officers to get ready to leave the space dock in about 1 or 2 weeks.
theere is a lot of work to do and at the moment just 3 (and when my TO gets back maybe 4)to do it so do the best u can!.

CaSCaDe out.

1st Aug 2000, 05:10 AM
human cannonball's log stardate 45627.89:
My recent crew has been blown up and we were called nitros, but i found the pleasure being a crew of the USS Etarnaty. And i placed myself into one of the ships cannons waiting to be launched out and smash my head into an enemy vessel, so that i can inflitrate it and blow it up while i am still looking for an escape pod. (Usually i dont have enough time to find the escape pod so i blow my self up and somehow survive.)

Waiting for orders...

over and out...

1st Aug 2000, 05:37 AM
<intercepted transmission>

"I am Bocutus of Lorg.
Lower your shields and surrender your ships. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will adapt serve us.
Resistance is-"

"Ehr.., Seven of Nine?"
"You are not trying to assimilate those humans again are you?"
"Well I-"
"We just assimilated the entire race of the Bummulans. Aren't you the least bit tired?"
"A bit yes, but fatigue is irreleva-"
"I know, I know. But we haven't slept for like 9000 years. And besides, the bed is getting cold without you, honey."
"But what about the hu-"
"Come here darling.."
"But I.. I.."
"Resistance is futile!!"

<end transmission>

1st Aug 2000, 06:19 AM
Commander's log stardate 5473832.5:

I am delighted to have been offered the rank of commander on this fine ship. It couldn't have came at a better time, as I have spent the last few months on a large spacecraft occupied by five people, doomed forever to patrol an empty sector of space.

I am currently travelling towards Veredian III in my own personal shuttle (shaped like a flak cannon, natch) and should arrive within the next couple of hours.

Now, I wonder, what does the USS Etarnaty look like?


OK, so it's the Enterprise E but I think this is the best Starfleet ship out there right now. Anyhow, it's up to the captain!

1st Aug 2000, 07:10 AM
I don't know what ship that is, but it is definetly NOT the enterprise E..

And no I am NOT confusing it with the Enterprise D

1st Aug 2000, 07:15 AM
TO's log. Stardate 58963,2

Captain Cascade came back from briefings with Central Command, and took place in the Captain's chair. I'm looking forward to the orders he brought from there.

With the new Omega Flyer I travelled to the Arkanis system trying to rescue Skumboy. Heavy ionic storms there made it difficult to scan, but after a few hours I found him on a godforsaken ball of rock. But his brandnew Danube class shuttle is only trash now. We flew back to Verdian III and Skumboy is recovering in sickbay. I hope the Captain is pleased with this mission.

Stardate 59002.2 Supplemental

There was a misunderstanding with Captain Cascade about my rank. From the moment I set a foot on the Eternaty I knew that Commander Vortex was 1st Officer. And I never attendet to take this position. Perhaps the Captain confused my rank (Lieutenant Commander) with my position (Tactical Officer)?

Stardate 591236.

I just heard that Commander Vortex is on the way. If MoyDoy becomes Chief Engineer we only need a Doctor and a Science Officer, and we would be ready for leaving to spacedock.

We also received a strange new weapon system called human cannonball a.k.a "henke". As TO I can't wait to see it in action

1st Aug 2000, 07:21 AM
captain's log, stardate 12345.6:

our trip to Veredian III has not been a waste of time. upon arrival my keen eye immediatly fell upon a vessle called the 'USS Eternaty'. none of our crew has seen the ship before, and its current crew configuration is still unknown to us. however, we've made a fairly accurate scan of their weapon systems and suffice to say they are no match for us in battle.

i could issue an order to dismantle this unknown ship at any time, but i don't, much to the dismay of First Officer Roiker and Chief Of Security Mr Barf. they insist we should board 'Eternaty', eliminate all hostile activity with extreme prejudice and then loot it.

i feel however that we should try to communicate with this intriguing alien crew, and learn from them. it's always a fascinating experience to meet new civilizations. once we've learned all there is to know we can crush them still.

in the meantime, i eagerly await Dr. Slusher's special inspection in my private quarters. hmm...better save that for my personal log.

*** supplemental:

it appears the 'USS Eternaty' is not so harmless after all. they've incorporated a devious new technology into their tactical systems. it involves calculated electronics and a human cannonball called Henke. maybe a prolongued examination of the crew is not such a bad idea.

more later.
Dickard out.

1st Aug 2000, 07:30 AM
why learn from aliens?
havent you seen any alien movies they always end up destroying the earth or something, so before you want to learn from them show them who the boss is and wipe them out...all of them before it is too late.

1st Aug 2000, 07:32 AM
Commanders log, supplemental

I have recieved communication from the USS Etarnaty. An unknown vessel has appeared alongside the spacedock. At the moment, their intentions are unknown. I am now proceeding towards the Etarnaty's location as fast as my flak shuttle will go. This is a dangerous situation, as the Etarnaty weapons are not fully operational yet.

Commander out.

1st Aug 2000, 07:43 AM
TO's log Stardate 52366.1

RED ALERT. Captain, report on bridge! Long range scanners have dedected an unknown alien vessel heading directly to our position. I made an emergency call to all other ships nearby, but I was only able to contact commander Vortex. His flak shell is still 1.125 lightyears away. First tactical projections show that the alien ship has better weapons. I knew that our lack of personel and equipment might one day be our biggest failure.If we only had more people: When Chief Engineer MoyDoy arrives, he could make our weapons and shields ready for combat.When all our systems operate a maximal efficency no ship in known space is a threat for us. But under this circumstances I don't see how we can survive...

1st Aug 2000, 07:43 AM
Skumboy's log stardate: 666

I have been rescued by the crew of the etarnaty, and have made a full recovery, I am now waiting for assignments.

1st Aug 2000, 07:50 AM
captain's log, stardate 12345.7:

i have sent a message to the USS Eternaty in which i ask the ship's captain CaSCaDe to attend a private dinner with me. alone, on my ship. i'm eagerly awaiting the captain's response, since Number One and Mr Barf have already begun the planning of what they call "Operation Wipe-Out".

i'll hold them back tho, or i'm not a Captain, but their fanatic scheeming and plotting has awakened something in me. i find myself acting more agreeable towards their plans, and i must admit it's been getting kind of boring over here. some action might be just what i need.

in the mean time i'm curious as to how Captn CaSCaDe will respond to my invitation.

Dickard out.

1st Aug 2000, 08:05 AM
Sir, send a message to ISVKran .........oh wait......that thing crashed right.....and isvkran wasnt a battleship either....
forget i said anything, sir

1st Aug 2000, 08:52 AM
Captains log stardate 54327465.5:

as i have recieved the message from captain gramps i have decided to attant to his dinner.

i have a weird feeling about this but i think all will go well, atleasted i hope.

i responce to the arival of my commander i can not feel any thing else than joy.
our previus joirney has been very good and i hope this willl go that good to.

i am now on my waay to meet captain gramps.
i pray to god all goes well.
CaSCaDe out.


i have given Skumboy the rank of science officer.
god knows why bu i think he will do fine on that post.
if skum boy does not agree with this possition please form a official request for an other.

i addition i am please that we have layed our hand on this new experimental waepon: the human cannonball henke.
i have no idea what to expact of it but hell will try it.
if the dinner with captain gramps does not go as planne dwe might be forced to use it.
i informed captain gramps about this and i hope he and his crew take a notice of this.
CaSCaDe out

suplemental suplemental:

my TO thought i made a mistake. well, i did.
sorry for that but i hope it will not intrfere with our duties.

as beeen stated be fore we only need a doctor to take off.
if we have 1 my commander Vortex will need to take the elm till we find a apropiate replacement.
CaSCaDe out

1st Aug 2000, 09:03 AM
captain's log, stardate 12345.8:

i'm delighted that captain CaSCaDe has given himself the honor of visiting me. i'm sure he'll be noticably impressed with our superior technology.

i'd like to expand more about this important meeting, but unfortunately i'm a bit stuck up with other duties at the moment.

i'll publish the results of our little conference on a somewhat later note.

for now, Dickard out.

*** supplemental:

captain CaSCaDe hasn't started things of entirely to my satisfaction. he insists on calling me 'gramps'. why is a mystery to me, as i do no yet show any sign of aging. ah well, we'll see how dinner turns out.

Dickard out.

1st Aug 2000, 09:11 AM

to Captain dickart
from Captain CaSCaDe
subject mis understanding

there has been a misunder standing,
i do not think u r a gramps but when i wrote that i must have been thinking of some 1 else.
sorry aboutt ha tand i hope that this will not harm our relations.

[personal note]
i hope that we will agree on a fusion of our ships. it would be a great oppertunaty to explore both our cultures.
[end of personal note]

1st Aug 2000, 12:24 PM
CREATOR: You thought that the picture posted by Vortex isn't the Enterprise-E. Do have a problem with your eyes. That ship was no doubt Sovereign class (look at the deflector or the saucer-section).

As we only have a small crew I suggest that our ship could be Defiant class (I have no pic, but I'm sure you know it). This ship is only 120*97*35 meters big, but has the weapon power of the Galaxy class!

I thought our ship might need a motto. For example, the Defiant's motto is "All I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by" (Defiant-A: "Give me liberty or give me death"). The Enterprise's motto is "...where no man has gone before".
If anyone has a good idea, tell me!

Tactical Officer 8472 log. Stardate 84521.2

The dinner of Captain Cascade and the alien vessel's Captain (who is known as gramps) went better then I expected. We have an unofficial cease-fire and a armed conflict isn't probable now. I'm very glad with this situation, as we have more time to
get our ship ready.

After our newest recruits came on board I made a list of the crew:
Captain Cascade: Commanding Officer
Commander Vortex: 1st / Executive Officer
Lt.Cmd. 8472 (me): Tactical Officer
Lt.Cmd. Skumboy: Science Officer
Lt.Cmd. MoyDoy: Chief Engineer
Henke: "human cannonball" experimental weapon system

If s.o. of the crew wants to complain about his rank/position he should do it.

We still need a Doctor and perhaps a helmsman/pilot!
But I think that we will get people for this positions.

Computer: end log.

1st Aug 2000, 02:06 PM
Commanders log supplemental:

I have finally arrived at the USS Etarnaty. I am pleased to hear that our Captain has managed to negotiate a ceasefire for the time being. That should hold us out until our weapons systems are up and running. We may consider having our fine ship in the form of the USS Defiant. Still, we are always open to other suggestions. I am curous to know, however, how the engineers managed to build the Etarnaty without it actually looking like anything.

end log

1st Aug 2000, 03:53 PM
captain's log, stardate 12345.9:

i think i've managed to fool the crew of the 'USS Eternaty'. how happy they were when i told them i wouldn't attack without reason. yes, excellent acting on my part.

had i any doubts before, my mind is clear now. god, how they kept on addressing me as 'gramps' when i had firmly told them my name was Dickard...as if it were a big joke! they will pay for their lack of courtesy.

now that 'Operation Wipe-Out' is approaching the final stage of planning we must take action quickly. also, our scanning sensors indicate that the Eternaty is rapidly building up their power source and weapon control. if we wait too long we won't be able to break through their defense system.

the time for diplomacy has passed. yes...we'll raid them soon.....very soon...{ends with insane bursts of laughter}

Dickard out.

1st Aug 2000, 04:11 PM
Captains log stardate 547638954,6:

as i have thought the alien captain dickart has not been honest.
i have been forced to use our secret weapon : the human canon ball Henke.
i had no idea what the strength of this weapon was but i must now in form starfleet that this is the most powerfull weapon in the universe!.
when i gave the order to fire before captaain dickard could launch his attack to overpower us.
the devistation was hudge!
there is not 1 single shred left of the ship of captain dickard.
we have beemed the surivers aboard (including captain dickard) but as we donot have a doctor yet i was forced to energize the emh.
we have saved about 10 people from sudden death but i don't know what to do with them.
i ghope that they will be so senative to join us on our quest.
CaSCaDe out.


as we now have al that we need to leave we set course for the tauron system to meet wiht the high ecautive of the tauron high counsel.
as i have heared he has a mission for us, i'm waiting.

CaSCaDe out.

1st Aug 2000, 04:22 PM
Commander's log supplemental

The captain have taken care of the offending ship as I was able to alert him over a secure channel of the potential destruction of our ship and are now on our way from the space dock. Although we do not have a complete crew some of the survivors from dickards ship may be willing to perform some of the more menial tasks. As I type we are on our way to the tauron sytem to recieve a mission.

I will leave this channel open for any other crew members to contribute as I must now leave to pass out in the corridor from sheer exhaustion,

1st Aug 2000, 04:24 PM
Commander's log supplemental

The captain have taken care of the offending ship as I was able to alert him over a secure channel of the potential destruction of our ship and are now on our way from the space dock. Although we do not have a complete crew some of the survivors from dickards ship may be willing to perform some of the more menial tasks. As I type we are on our way to the tauron sytem to recieve a mission.

I will leave this channel open for any other crew members to contribute as I must now leave to pass out in the corridor from sheer exhaustion.

1st Aug 2000, 08:15 PM
Science officers log stardate: 31337

I have been assigned to science officer, and on my first day I noticed traces of a compound lining the ships engine room, i later found this compound to be Monkey Feces, I have informed the captain and am waiting for orders.

2nd Aug 2000, 03:58 AM
human cannonball (henke) here..... i have managed to get myself together but i cant seem to find my right arm so i took some weapon derbis from the alien ship and made me a huge laser photon cannon for an right-arm.

but now to the thing...im still floating here in space and it could not hurt if someone came and picked me up...
i have lit a huge flare that could be seen from a humungos distance around the alien shipwreck....
so someone....please pick me up.

over and out.

2nd Aug 2000, 06:02 AM
Commanders log stardate 685324.7

Using some sophisticated tracking techniques we have detected henke floating in amongst the debris of the recently destroyed Lorg ship. The captain has sent ot a salvage team to gather any remains of the Lorg craft and they will also pick up henke.

Memo to whoever:

We urgently need to enthusiastic crew members to carry heavy objects over long distances in the cargo holds.
PLease contact the captian if interested.

end log

2nd Aug 2000, 07:07 AM
Captains log stardate 574896345.6:

as i have recieved the message of the monkey feces in the engeneering section i have send my scienc officer to investigate.
i am looking forward to his report on this matter.

as for our experimental weapon sytem henke, we were able to salvage him and some debree from the lorg vessel, as i have thought we learned a great deal of there defensive and offensive strengths.

for the time being i am hoping for a save an fast journey to the taurton system to recieve our orders.
CaSCaDe out.

personal log:

i tyhink tyhat our rendevous whit tthe tauron high counsil willl no tbe as pleasant as some of us hope.
i have recieved word from starflet that with this new weapon we have discovered that we will be send to the war front against the skjaar home world. i hope these r just romeurs but if not this ship and his crew will have to prepare for a great sufaring in order to suceed in destroing the skjaaar 1c and for good.
CaSCaDe out.

2nd Aug 2000, 07:17 AM
Tactical Officer's log Stardate 58421.5

We were finally forced to use our weapon power to show Captain gramps who we are! "Human cannonball" henke was a excellent weapon. With one shot the alien vessel was vaporized. The only problem is the long loading time. We have to collect him from space after every mission. With I little training I'm sure we will improve the performance of henke. But for now: good job. As we don't have a doctor Starfleet engineers installed a EMH in sickbay. We will see how well it works. Now we are ready to leave and Captain Cascade set a course for the Tauron system, where he thinks we'll get a mission. Perhaps new crewmembers want to join us once we arrived there.

Lt. Cmd. Skumboy had some problems in engineering, but he solved them (I think). I havn't heard any word from our Chief Engineer MoyDoy and wonder if he we left him on Veridian III.

Computer: end log

2nd Aug 2000, 07:38 AM
i got an idea for faster loadingtimes...
Just hook me up with a bungee rope or a big rubber band...
but beware that this could decrease my attack lenght, and it could hit back to our ship...

2nd Aug 2000, 07:53 AM
Henke: You must write your posts in log form ;)

I have already aked what our fine ship looks like, and if we need a motto. Perhaps someone could make a decision or further suggestions about this!

TO 8472's log supplemental

I received a suggestion from henke about his loading time. But I think using a bungee rope is imposible. The biggest disadvantage is that henke would return and severly damage our own ship. Furthermore the smaller attackradius isn't accaptable, as the phasers and torpedo launchers aren't fully operational yet. I will consider any other suggestions concerning this problem!

2nd Aug 2000, 08:05 AM
i have noticed some head injuries that made me forget things like to add the stardate.

So ill be in the medlab if we have one else ill be lying someplace where i can get nitro...
over n` out.

2nd Aug 2000, 10:30 AM
Captains log stardate 564735684,4:

as i have heard the probleme about our new weapon to return to us or to have a faster reload time, i might have the idea to make this weapon even more usefull that it already is.

i will need to consult this with my senior officers to see if this will work.

the plan:
if we equip out weapon with a jetpack and repleace some body parts with cybernetic implants we might have what we need to make henke the best weapon in the universe.

jetpacks to return to the ship.
! these should be inpenatrable so the will not explode on inpact.
and cybernatic body parts to re-assamble himsewlf while he returns to the ship.

it also might be a good idea to try and duplicate this strange and alien technologie but there for we will need to ready a research bay and will our weapon not be avalible for several weeks, which is not a good idea whit the possibe offencive to the sjkaarhomeworld (this is clasified information so do not distrebute to ne outsiders)

for now we will have to wait wiht al of these thing cuse we barly have enought man power to keep this ship running, i hope that when we arive on the tuaron homeworld we will find some new crew members.
CaSCaDe out.


the survivers or the lorg ship have not been very cooperative whit us so i had to trow them in the brig.
untill captain dickard and his assosiates have agreed to help on this vessel whitout being a pain in the *butt* i will see if i let them out.

and even if i let them i will need a securaty officer to be there gardien and since we still not have a securaty officer i must leave them there.
CaSCaDe out

2nd Aug 2000, 12:35 PM
I have finally arrived on Eternaty and have been assigned the job of chief engineer. Upon my arrival I noticed the ships obvious lack of Nililistic crystals. Although this is not a common kind of crystal it is most inperative for this kind of ship. A quick look at the starmap makes me believe that we should head for the planet Xuarta. There we can find some Nihilistic crystals. But the planet is inhabited by the alien race canadians. They are extremly agressive and like to go after people with a terrible weapon called the "hockey-stick". There is a risk that we have to fight a small war to get the crystals. I am waiting for the captians response.

2nd Aug 2000, 01:42 PM
Tactical Officer's log Stardate 58954221023.7

We are only 1.67 lightyears, or 2 hours away from the Tauron system. There, according to the Captain, we will get our first mission.
I studied Captain Cascade plans for henke and came to the conclusion that they are very promising. I leave to exact specifications and the realization to Chief Engineer MoyDoy and Lt. Cmd. Skumboy. I think they will perform well on this task, which is vital for the upcoming combats.

Lt. Cmd. MoyDoy informed of another problem. The Nililistic crystals in our warpcore are destablizing, and we forgot to supply us with enough craytals in Veridian III spacedocks.
But MoyDoy already searched for replacements and discovered resources on Xuarta. However this planet is said to be inhabited by a evil species called Canadians. We might need henke to beat them. Therefor we must have enhanced him when we arrive on Xuarta. But it first we have to accomplish a mission on Tauron!

personal log:

There are rumors on the ship that we will be sent to the front in the heating earth - skarjj conflict. I hope it's only a rumor. because a notice that the senior crew gets more and more nervous, icluding me

COMPUTER: Open all hail frequencies

This the USS Etarnaty. We still hire qualified and motivated personell.
See the galaxy, meet interesting people, and kill them

We search for a Doctor (no experience needed), security officers and a helmsman. If you are intersested contact us and we will take you!

2nd Aug 2000, 02:30 PM
Commander's log stardate 5726916489712642817642839468164191306357621983657982365872611756238.8:

Unfortunately we have now run out of power in our Nihilistic crystals. Thankfully we have a backup system in the form of lot's of pikachus generating electricity. These creatures shall be dismembered once we have fresh crytals so we won't have to put with their constant "pikachuing" for much longer. This however makes me worry. This means that there may be a temporal anomoly somewhere on the ship that is allowing some pokemon to escape into our universe. This anomoly must be sealed as soon as possible.

Memo to oneself:

There may an error in this new stardate recording system. I suggest changing back to the previous method.

2nd Aug 2000, 03:00 PM
Captains log stardate 54352342,4:

i have recieved word from my chief enginere that we will not be able to go any further with out resuplying our nililistic cristals, as w e now run on pickachu power i forsee that this problem will be dealt with in no time.

my attention goes out to the space time anomaly reported by commander Vortex, i have no idea what to do about it.
i sugest to get away as fast as possible to not let those critters interfere with our vitale systems.
i am sure that this situation will be in good hands wwith commander Vortex.

i on the other hand have to think about the next course of action.
as i have recived word from starfleet with orders to set course for the sjkaar homeworld -that god forsaken place- to luanch the initial attack.
this would under any other sucomtances be no probleme but with my crew not entirly up and running i must proceed this matter with causion.
an other probleme to these orders are that our weapon system henke is not jet fully recovered from our encounter with the lorg, i wury that we might have to reject the orders for the sake of this ship.
i will need to discuse this with the my senior officers.

then there is the matter of the tuaron high cousil who will not be pleased if we don't show up.
i will need to try convice starfleet that the mission to sjkaaria is not a very good idea for the sake of the eternaty as well for the reputation of starfleet to the tuaron high counsil.

this is not an easy task.

CaSCaDe out.

2nd Aug 2000, 03:24 PM
With our last energy reserves and on pickachu power, we managed to reach Xuarta, where MoyDoy thinks we'll find Nililistic crystals. We are now in a standart orbit. Due to our lack of energy the ship operates in mode grey: All luxeries like holodecks, showers, and haeting are shut off. If it comes worst we must also shut off vital systems like light, artificial gravity or even life support.

If we have to fight against the Canadians, we may need henke. I'll request a report from engineering, how far his repairs are.

I suggest we sent a heavily armed away team to the surface at first, to see if we meet resistance. A full range attack from the orbit can is still a option then...

This is a critical situation, and the future of this ship and even mankind itself are determined by the decision we make in the next days.

2nd Aug 2000, 05:18 PM
I am pleased that the captain has taken our lack of Nihilistic crystals sriously and that we have arrived at Xaurta.
The repairs on henke are running smoothly and he should be up and running soon. I will suggest that the captain will let me go on with the surface team as I have encountered the canadians a few times in my spam-pirate career. I believe that my knowledge of them will be most useful.

3rd Aug 2000, 03:27 AM
i got an idea with the pikachus, if we could take all explosives and nuclear warheads off me and repace them with the pikachus. i coul proabably be used as an EMP. and only disabling the enemy to use anything electric, thus letting us easily board their ships and take all we need.
But we then might need some soldiers of some sort to take the enemy crew out.

But the pikachus are very well powered and the powa proabably needs to be researched before it can be used properly.

but imagine the possabilities, all the metal, energy, weapons, ships we can need.

over and out.

3rd Aug 2000, 04:06 AM
Catains log stardate 54543543,6:

the idea i recieved from henke to adapt the pickatupower to make him a emp weapon is very apealing, however i am not sertain tha that the entire crew will be pleased to have the little critters aboard, o well i will need to examine this possibilaty, good work henke.

as for te request of my chief enginere moydoy i most inform him he will be on the away team to recover the crystals.
as he has some experiance with these so called Canadians i think he will do fine.

i have given my science officer the order to research the possiblilaty that we might turn the monkey feces he found a few days ago in to a usable fuel in the case our crystal dry again.
he will need to study on this.

CaSCaDe out.

personal log:

again i have recieved word from starfleet to travel to sjkaaria and i tryed to explain our situation, they were unwilling to listen.
if they realy want us to go into battle in this condision and start a war with the tuarons at the same time i am afraid i will need to start a mutany against starfleet, lets hope it does not come come that far.

CaSCaDe out.

3rd Aug 2000, 12:37 PM
Our misery doesn't end. Longrange sensors detected transwarp lanes, most probably of Lorg ships! Maybe they search for Captain Dickard, who still sits in our prison.
On my advice the Eternaty is hidding over the magnetic poles of the planet. I hope this will make us invisible for Lorg sensors.

As we run out of energy and time, me and MoyDoy formed the away team. I would have taken Skumboy too, but is very busy to explore a new energy resource: monkey feces.

MoyDoy will be a creat help, because of his previous encounters with Canadians and his detailed knowledge of Nililistic crystals. We equiped ourselves with mark-5.8 phaser rifles, cartonium-handgrenades and bright, colourful protection suits (I hope this will distract and confuse the canadians).
When this log ends we are standing in the transporter room and say "energize"...


I'm not pleased with the thought, that all this pikachus are running between my feet, Therefor I worked out a plan. Skumboy could develop a few stasis chambers were the pickachus are hold when not needed. If they are unconcious they can't harm or disturb us. The only problem is the energy we need for the stasis fields. Perhaps our new monky fece powerplant can provide enough energy for it...

Supplemenatl 2:

I noticed the time anomaly Commander Vortex, warned us about. I made a cup of coffee in my room and went to toilet. When I returned the cup was empty. Either it was a distortion in the time-space-continuum or somone drunk my coffee!

[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on 08-04-2000 at 12:11 PM]

3rd Aug 2000, 04:34 PM
Almost imidiately after me and 8-4-7´s arrival on the surface we were attacked and knocked uncounsius by the canadians. We are now hostages and the canadians have toled me that we will not be released unless the Eternaty attacks and destroys the population of the nearby planet McDonald´s. The creatures on the planet are called americans and the canadians are at war with them. The americans are wastly greater in numbers but the technolgy they use does not beat the canadian or ours. I can only hope that the captain can make the right decision in this matter, as i know that the canadians are seious. We will most likely be killed if the americans are not dealt with.

4th Aug 2000, 10:17 AM
Commander's log stardate 5686362.9:

I have succeeded in seeking out the disturbance that was allowing the pikachus to escape into our universe. I will need to use some equipment from the science labs to close it. This will have to happen soon as more pokemon are escaping into the ship. Thankfully they are too idiotic to notice me so they can be killed with ease...at the moment.

Unfortunately, I have detected that the disturbance is putting great pressure on the ship's hull and we could easily have a hull breach on our hands if we do not act quickly.

Oh, I let that Jiggly|PuF| escape.

end log.

4th Aug 2000, 03:35 PM
It can't get worse. Me and MoyDoy were overwhelmed by the canadians, when we began searching for chrystals. We are now held oin wodden cages somewhere in the endless forsts of Xuarta.The suddenly came out of nowhere and beat us with their hockeysticks. no we don't know what's going on with the Eternaty. I'm sure Captain Cascade is already planning a rescue mission. If he does I hope he prepares it better than we! If not he can try to attack Mac Donalds. But considering the Lorg traces I detected and our persisting lack of energy this is no pleasing option.
Oh no the canadians............they are coming again........ARGGGGGGGHH............NOOOOOOOOO.........

5th Aug 2000, 10:32 AM
Captains log stardate 67475583,6:

i am in great distrase1
my to and ce have been taken hostoge by the evil canadians, the pokemon treat is still not delth with, there might be a lorg invasion and the starfleet/tuasron matter is still out there!
what should i do?????

i havent recieved word from my science officer to so i dont know if the monkey feces will be a new power source, if they arent we have a BIG problem!
we don't even have the power to keep up live support let alone try to take on the americans.

what should i do?

i wish my science officer and first officer where here to support me in this matter!
further logs might not be possible untill the power has returned!
CaSCaDe out


i only hope that my to and ce have layed there hands on 1 or 2 cristals cuse i am thinking of a despirate kamikaze attack on the canadians.
i should say rescue attemp cuse we dont have the power for a full scale attack.
i havce saved some power for an emergansy transport, and as far as we could see the canadians dont have transporter capabilaties yet, so they dont have the technology to block a transport to.
i just hope my officers have some cristals so we can whipe out those pescy canadian treath so we can get more cristals from the surface so that we can with stand the lorg invasion squad with oour henke(he has been ofline for a while now but with the new cristals he will be up and running in no time)
i adition with the canadian elimination we might travel to the near world of mc donalds to make friends with the canadians(and maybe a life time of free burgers)
if this plan works most of our problems will go over.
even the pokemon invasion(we need power to seal the rift)
The only problem then will be the starfleet/tuaron thing, but i'll see aboput that later.
first i need to get rit of the problemes at hand.

CaSCaDe out

The Dopefish
5th Aug 2000, 10:38 AM
Annoyingly Persisting Holodeck Character log 64H! ;)

GAH! No one has gone on the Holodeck yet! Oh well, I'll just have to amuse myself with monkey porn, fish porn, Pokemon porn and various other types of porn until then. :D

5th Aug 2000, 10:45 AM
I set up the stasis chamber for the pikachus, I felt sorry for the little beggers, so i let them loose for a while but they began to breed, i started recording the mating habbits, sadly this has resulted in me becoming known across the ship as "The Lord of Pikachu Porn". *sigh* I guess it is something I must live with. However it wasn't as bad as the fate which happened to creatoR, who was actually caught watching the footage ;)

The Dopefish
5th Aug 2000, 10:48 AM
After learning that the ship's resident Pikachu curator has been called "Lord of Pikachu Porn," I've set out to make myself "Lord of the female Nidoran porn." Tests, although failures, have made me give up human porn. ;)

Cap'n Beeb
5th Aug 2000, 11:45 AM
Personal Log 4:20

While hunting the evil canadians today I stumbled across some of these odd beings being held captive. Excited by this new find, and the chewy/yummy flesh of the canadians, I let loose with my anti-matter device which looks oddly like a 20th centry Glock 21 for some reason, and proceeded to munch on the rare cooked flesh of my evil enemies. Before leaving I noticed the two odd looking humans, which reminded me of my race, the Americans. Hmmm, perhaps I can lend my canadian-*** kicking talents to you peoples?

5th Aug 2000, 12:10 PM
commanders log supplemental:

I finally have some good news. The specialist equipment needed to shut down the portal has arrived and all I need to do now is wait for the power levels to be restored. I have even struck up a deal with some of the more co-operative Pokemon. They will donate some of their own feces (which they have told us have twice the power of monkey feces) in exchange for permission to use the empty quarters of the Etarnaty as broadcast centres for their "adult" Pokemon broadcasts. Skumboy and The Dopefish will be assisting in the productions of these broadcasts.

We may even be able to persuade them into retrieving our captured crewmembers from those damn canadians.

end log

The Dopefish
5th Aug 2000, 12:55 PM
I decided that the whole female Nidoran lesbian thing just wasn't working, so I decided to check out some more Misty porn. :D

5th Aug 2000, 12:57 PM
An american on loose on Xaurta has killed the canadians that holds me and 8-4-7-2 captive. I am not sure what his intensions are but i hope he will be of use to us on this godforsaken world.

5th Aug 2000, 02:37 PM
MoyDoy and me were rescued by a strange hunter, who introduced himself to us as beerbaron. He came no time too soon. I think the canadians just wanted to have lunch: us!
It was a pleasure to see how quickly and merciless the canadians were killed.

After our rescue beerbaron helped us too find some Nililistic crystals. With MoyDoys experience it was easy to exploit this resources. We loaded our bags with as much crystals we could carry: approximatly 160 pounds. Then we beamed back to the Eternaty and MoyDoy rushed to engineering like a burning weasel. He currently installs the crystals into the main power core. In one or two days most of our power problems will be over. First analyses of their structur and purity show that they can supply us with enregy for 1.3 years.
Concerning beerbaron: I think he will be an excllent security officer, but I if he doesn't like this rank, he can tell it.


During our absence a holo character known as Dopefish appeared on holodeck 6. I still wonder how this was possible with the holodecks offline! Until now we weren't able to make a civilized conversation with him. He only spammed about porn.
As is only able to stay in section equiped with holo emitters (the holodecks and sickbay) he could act as Doctor. our current EMH can't hold a scalpel !

The Captain thinks the lorg subspace signals which are still on the sensors, are sign of a upcoming invasion.
I hope this is false. For all we know they may only search for Captain Dickard. He is still sitting in the brig on deck 26.

5th Aug 2000, 02:45 PM
Atlast I have made it back to the ship. Me and 8-4-7-2 is in life debt to beerbaron. I have installed the Nihilistic crystals and now we can finally get out of here. I am consurned that the problems we have met so far are only a taste of what is to come if Starfleet makes us go to Sjkaar.

Cap'n Beeb
5th Aug 2000, 03:02 PM
Starlog 991:

After saving my american friends from the evil canadians, they posted me as a security guard on their cool ship. Sweet. But I swear, if I see one more of these bastardly "Pickachus" the halls are going to run with the blood of these obnoxious bastards.

To: Captain
Subject: Weapons.

What kind of weapons are available to me as the security guard?

5th Aug 2000, 03:16 PM
It seems that beerbaron is confident with is rank, although it must still be confirmed by Captain Cascade. But perhaps he confused something. He's not only some security guard. He is now Chief Of Security.

[memo to beerbaron]

Well, as Tactical Officers I know all handheld weaons in our arsenal (It's not nessecary to burden the Captain with this).

Mark 5.2 phaser rifle: standard weapon
Antiprototon shock disruptor: vaporizes everything
Perliminium hunter seeker missile launcher
various types of explosives

Due to our fast levaing of the Veridian III spacedock, this are our only weapons up to now. But as security chief just tell us which wepaons might be useful and we'll order them!

5th Aug 2000, 03:24 PM
Commander's log 989820.8

As, I sit in the mess hall munching on some roast jigglypuf, I hear the good news that our crewmembers have been rescued from the surface of the canadian's planet, bringing with them a healthy supply of crystals (of which I have forgotten the name). With these power source, we no longer need the pokemon feces, so I locked the monsters in the airlock and send them floating out into space. Watching them die was extremely soothing. I suggest immeditate playback if stressed. However, I now must wait, as only our captain knows where we are headed next.

end log

The Dopefish
5th Aug 2000, 03:40 PM
Note: the APHC has put put a sleep by Jigglypuff.

Cap'n Beeb
5th Aug 2000, 07:41 PM
Starlog: 9823

Due to the lack of multiple firearms, I am volunteering my services as weapons producer. I also add my personal collection to our armory.

1. USRobotics Anti-Matter handgun (13 shot capacity)
2. Valve Atom-Disruptor (Use with caution)
3. Iomega Pulse Blaster w/ under barrel grenade launcher (NOTE: DO NOT USE WITHIN 50 FEET OF HULL, OR ELECTRONIC DEVICES)

As the thoughts occur to me, I will mention weapons to order. So far I have thought of only one.

Multibeam Targeting Phalanx: With a RPM of over 30,000 pe minute, this very cool weapon has been known to be able to shoot down ANY vehicle that is in range. Range: 3 million meters, but with a few alterations, I can increase the range to 6.34 million meters.

All weapons mentioned here will be added along with extra ammunition packages.

The Dopefish
5th Aug 2000, 08:03 PM
APHC log 60B5H1735!

While no one was looking, The Dopefish threw some Pokemon into the weapons hangar. :D Handy bastards, they are.

Cap'n Beeb
5th Aug 2000, 08:50 PM
Starkig: 98452

After cleaning up the Pickachus blood from the weapons hangars walls, I sought out to find the person who did this evil act. Since it was an evil act, I'm guessing it was some canadians.

Also, I have made a new weapon by taking apart a Mark 5.2 rifle. It now has a 60 charge capacity, RPM of around 300, and it now features a net launcher, flame thrower, and a proximity mine mode for those situations where its out of ammo, and you know someones coming.

Along with that, I have come into contact with a cloaking device, work shall begin on that ASAP.

Cap'n Beeb
5th Aug 2000, 08:51 PM
Starkig: 98452

After cleaning up the Pickachus blood from the weapons hangars walls, I sought out to find the person who did this evil act. Since it was an evil act, I'm guessing it was some canadians.

(Note to self, why are these Pickachus so stupid! After storing some of my weapons into the hangar, I noticed each one proceed to stick its tail in a light socket, thus, exploding themselves!)

Also, I have made a new weapon by taking apart a Mark 5.2 rifle. It now has a 60 charge capacity, RPM of around 300, and it now features a net launcher, flame thrower, and a proximity mine mode for those situations where its out of ammo, and you know someones coming.

Along with that, I have come into contact with a cloaking device, work shall begin on that ASAP.

6th Aug 2000, 07:16 AM
I have presented a list of the personnel we need to the captain.

I need some assistants and i am positive Skumboy does too.
A cook. Those machines we have does not give us proper nutricians.
A fashion-designer so we can get out of these nasty pyjamases(sp?).
Cleaners so that beerbaron does not have to clean up Pikachu blood from the walls again.
Security guards.
A doctor. The Dopefish seems...fishy to me.

After our adventure on Xaurta I decided that we need to enhance our weapons quality so that it will not happen again. I found a Pickachu that I began experiments on. I have now managed to convert my phaser into a high electricity weapon which is far more powerful then the original phaser. I call it the Pika-Pha. I have requested all personnel to turn in there phasers so that I can convert does too.

6th Aug 2000, 09:03 AM
As we are out of trouble now and all systems are operating in normal parameters, I had time to relax. I spent a few hours on the holodeck and enjoyed canadian and pokemon hunting.
But suddenly the Dopefish appeared and disturbed me. His spam made it impossible to proceed.
I heard that beerbaron had also problems with him. I think the Captain should talk to Dopefish about this.

We still need to seal this pokemon releasing breach. They can be seen all over the ship. With my pikachu enhanced phaser I managed to kill a lot of them, but for each pokemon I kill, two new ones seem to appear!

I agree with MoyDoy in that we desperatly need a cook. I replicated a pizza in the mess hall and it tasted aweful. The replicators have problems with cheesy food. Fixing this has top priority!
Concerning new crewmembers: I also need a personal assistant, preferable female.

6th Aug 2000, 09:33 AM
Captains log stardate??????:

as i get a little ovewhelmed by the power of the booze i must attent to the urgent matters at hand.

first of all the personale problem.
i have no idea what to do about it! we could install holo-emiters thru out the ship to make some holografich personal.
the only problem -which brings us directly to the second probleme- is that the anoing persitanet holographic caracter whould be free to move around thru the ship, which is not an option!
aphc must be the most anoiing caracter around!
but o well he brings some life in the brewery!
i will need to think about his situation and the salution for it.
as for our new staf member beerbaron, welcome abourd, i have seen that u have done some hard work on this fine ship!
keep up the good work! that counts for al of u!

i have given commander vortex the order to do with the pokemon infestation as he pleases earlyer, as long as we can get rid of those pescy things!
for now good luck to all!
CaSCaDe out.

Cap'n Beeb
6th Aug 2000, 11:19 AM
Starlog: 667023

I have continued work on the cloaking device, and it is working, sort of. The thing is, it emits a light bending sphere around the user, thus, making them invisible. But, if you shoot/throw anything at anyone, the sphere will break, and you will be seen. This doesn't go on forever, the sphere eventually "grows" for a lack of a better word, back.

I think I might have an idea on this "Kill 1 Pickachu, get 2 free!" thing. If you see one of them duplicate, shoot the second or "future" version. This might work also by killing the "past" version. My idea is something killed in the future has no past. Of course it could just be the nasty pizza talking to me.

6th Aug 2000, 12:14 PM
commanders log stardate ???

With the pokemon problem beginnning to get out of hand, I have decided to enter the disturbance that is bringing the pokemon to our world. As I expected, I am now in the pokemon world.

My guess is that there will some pokemon, more annoying and stupid that any previously encoutered, that is controlling this incursion into our space. Unfortunately on my way to the weapons store, I was assualted by a huge machine clearly designed for one purpose: to spam. I risked fatal injury as made my way through the walls of spam created by this machine and I was only able to grab a few weapons. I have a suspicion that this may have something to do with our holographic doctor, who's behaviour is becoming increasingly unstable.

Still, I must now concentrate on stopping the pokemon. I ahve warned security of the spam machine that is know roaming the ship. I just hope they can stop it, as it's powers of spam are most impressive.

end log.

6th Aug 2000, 01:08 PM
I went on a search for the spam mashine Commander Vortex reported. After short time a noticed first signs on deck 9. All walls and floors were covered by spam. As I proceeded the spam got more dense. I was able to reach the machine and make a quick scan of it.
It's mainly a holographic projection, powered by pokemon feces. This proves Cmd. Vortex suspection that the Dopefish APHC is involved in it. The scan also revealed a threatening pact: The pokemons seem to use the spam as food, while providing energy in form of feces.

However I was forced to retreat to deck 7, because pokemons attacked me! We lost contact to deck 8 to 12. All remaining pokemons on the ship are gathering there.

I worked out a plan. We need to bring tachyon emitters very close to the machine, 10 meters at least. This should bring an end to all holographic activity there. Now to the problems:
The pokemons will defend the machine
It is hard to walk through spam
We don't have enough firearms as the wepon lockers are in the affected sections

I will ask beerbaron and the rest of the senior officers for advice.


In the last days I havn't received any word from our Science Officer Skumboy, nor has anyone seen him. I fear he maybe captured by the pokemons or injured in another way.

[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on 08-06-2000 at 01:18 PM]

Cap'n Beeb
6th Aug 2000, 02:11 PM

I have completed my work on the cloaking device, and disabled the feature that turns itself off when you shoot something, so now it should be easier to destroy the pokemon.

About the spam/weapon locker situation, I am asking all personel to give me their weapons so I can make more and better ones. I modified the Iomega Pulse Blaster, now it can be used near hulls, so thats one problem down, and who knows how many to go.

On the subject of spam coated walls, I have discovered that the nasty pizza mentioned earlier has the power to neutralize the spams power, turning the spam into nothing, its like a take-home antimatter thing. I will distribute pizza to everyone on the ship, just smear it all over the spam coated areas, and it should clear up. Also, the pokemon are extremly allergic to beer. I recently discovered this with a battle of 3 Pikachus, and all I had was a bottle of beer with me. I chucked the bottle in the middle of the cluster of pokemon, and they imploded on themselves. Along with pizza, I will hand out bottles of beer to everyone.

Due to the recent devlopment with beer, I will start work on a beer-spewing gun, more on that later.

Finally, once the holograph guy appears, I suggest that we lock down all holographic projectors, and secure the floor in which the evil bringer of pokemon is coming from. That way, I think we can finally kill him.

The Dopefish
6th Aug 2000, 02:42 PM
Someone secretly rigged me with a holo-emitter, allowing me free access to the ship. :D

On my travels, I decided to float up to the bridge. No one was there, so I decided to phuck around for a bit. The captain's chair is comfy. :)

Out of nowhere, a beeping noise is coming from the comm port. I press a button, and a voice said, "Pika pika pikachu. Pika pika pika pikachu. Pi-ka-chu pika pika!" Quickly I pressed the button for the universal translator (Ed. note: I almost put translocator there. :)), and the message was clear as anything I've ever heard:

"We are the Pokemon. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile!"

Cap'n Beeb
6th Aug 2000, 04:25 PM
UPDATE: The beer-spewer is now complete. This will make killing the pokemon much easier. I have now begun work on a pizza-dispenser, which should make the spam cleaning easier.

Due to the recent message from the Pokemon, I am advising everyone to arm themselves and prepare for the worse. If you need extra weapons/ammo, come see me. I have found a quick and effective way to make the standard phase rifle to fire two different beams at once. By creating a small slice in the main feeding tube, about right where the middle of the tube is, it splits the charge into an smaller, more powerful, two shot combo thing.

Also, report any suspicous activity to me.

7th Aug 2000, 04:48 AM
i have succeded with my research with the EMP and it works just fine with pika power. Unfortunately it is a bit too powerful. I tried to mout a few (23 to be exact) friendly picachus (that were hiding in my locker, watching porn) and they nicley climbed up to the EMP-device placed on my back.
and i put the EMP-charge to the lowest. And that should only stop my watch and other tech stuff 1 meter around me.
But as i said it is WAY too powerful and it accidently blew up the whole rear deck so the engines and other stuff that is placed there (like my room, and a few others) wont work until someone fixes it. I took a look arund i saw that at least that the rear decks 5-12 are totally powerless. And on top of all that the pickachus mounted on my back, mutated into some wierd humungous metal eating monsters and went haywire, so they are having a party eating everything up and they have me as a hostage and makes me eat stuff like bolts, walls, and so on.

So i need at least a few mechanics to fix this disaster and a few soldiers to wipe the mutants out.

And hurry up...there isnt much time left...

7th Aug 2000, 05:16 AM
The moment I feared for nearly six years has finally arrived. The pokemon, our most lethal enemy, have begun an invasion of the federation and this time there may be no stopping them.

Our Spamfish has done his first useful thing on this ship, when he intercepted a pokemon transmission.
No we know their real intentions. I received word from Starfleet that they already attacked 4 planets. A federation tasksforce will intercept the pokemons at Wolf 359. I hope they can stop them.
I activated all weapon systems and shields of the Eternaty, but due to henke's fatal EMP experiment, they only run at 54 %

However, there are also good news. Equiped with beebaron excellent beer gun and replicated pizzas (who ever thought that they might by useful) I managed to clear the decks the decks 8 and 9 of spam and pokemons.

Perhaps the APAC makes his next good deed and stops his spammachine!

[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on 08-07-2000 at 05:20 AM]

7th Aug 2000, 06:13 AM
I have now located the pokemon command centre. Thankfully it was only gaurded my a pathetic magikarp which could only thash about in the water as I went about the process of disabling the portal generator.

I now have five minutes to return to the portal or I will be stuck in the pokemon world forever. I was assualted by a raichu on the journey back. I dodged it's attacks but it's electrical powers completely fried the circuits in my logbook thingy. I can't be bothered getting it replaced right now so I just tossed it away.

Here's a REALLY interesting twist for the story:
no more logs!

Cap'n Beeb
7th Aug 2000, 11:38 AM
As I sit here hoping the Multibeam Target Phalanx gets here in time so we can intercept the pokemons, I thought of an idea to stop the evil monster/mutant thing from eating the walls.

Coat them with beer.

Since the mutant was based off a pokemon, and you know how pokemon are allergic to beer, if they can't eat the beer coated walls, they'll die.

I won't be available for a little while today as I am going to look for henke. Anyone who wishes to come along is more than welcome. Just remember to bring extra beer and pizza.

Weapon Update: I have modified one of the toasters in the cafeteria to spew harmful anti-pokemon radiation. This should be interesting. So far it has been. I pointed the device at a pikachu and hit the "toast" button. What I was rewarded with was a bubbly mass of pokegoo. Before I leave I will hand these out to everyone. Just point and "toast".

The Dopefish
7th Aug 2000, 11:46 AM
On my daily travel through the ship, I decided to throw the UT weapons into the weapons hangar. I'll try to remind the crew that the goo gun makes Pokemon horny.

Thinking the mess hall wasn't all that I thought it sounded like, I decided to make a mess. :D The cook made me clean it up. :(

I also decided to catch all the friendly Pokemon (as it turns out, all the evil Pokemon went back to wherever they came from) and store them in the ship's computer. The computer had the chance to analyse them and made a record of them. 251 different Pokemon to be exact. I asked anyone that found any more of the friendly Pokemon to do the same.

Minutes later, someone caught me on accident. :) Make that 252 Pokemon, I guess. ;)

Temporary Account
7th Aug 2000, 02:42 PM
Having recently made my plea to my captors, I have finally been released from the brig, where I resided with my ex-crew members. After informing captain Cascade that I served as Ensign under Cpt. Dickard, he told me that a similar position was also available on his ship, the Eternaty. I gladly accepted, as the brigs were getting quite smelly. It seems the latrine plumbing system has become clogged with Pokemon.

Due to the massive problems currently going on, my duties as Ensign have been temporarily postponed, and I've been assigned to clean up duty. While our Chief Security officer has devised an ingenious method of spam removal, it carries with it an unfortunate side effect. The corridors that were once covered with spam, are now covered with...PIZZA! Normally this would not be a problem..but unfortunately, it's replicated pizza, and it tastes like moldy cardboard.

I've sent a requisition memo to the Chief Science Officer requesting a Sub-Atomic Particle Destabilisation Vacuum, and a mop. As soon as this equipment becomes available, I'll begin my cleanup of deck 8.

I've also requested that Cpt. Cascade assign the remaining prisoners (except for Cpt. Dickard..I don't trust him) to be put on a work detail, under armed guard, in order to help me with the cleanup.

In the mean time, I'm helping our CSO test out what beer works best in fending off the PokeMutants that are infesting the rear quarter of the ship. It seems that they are highly alergic to very cheap beer, which is fortunate for me and Beerbaron..as we have no where to store the unusable beer, and must drink it ourselves.

Ensigns Log: Supplemental
I've also requested that Cpt. Cascade keep me in mind for future promotions. Perhaps as a Communications officer, as I've spent my spare time studying such technologies and languages as I've been able to. But I know he's a busy man with many heavy questions weighing on him. Perhaps when the current crisis' are over, he'll have time to give me a review.

Ensign TA, signing off

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
7th Aug 2000, 03:08 PM
Stardate 6969696969.69 Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

I have managed to sneak into the ship via an airlock that someone blew a bunch of yellow rodent-like creatures out of. What kind of hunter would destroy such seemingly harmless being in such a way? Obviously someone without a clue on what a real hunter should do.

Upon replacing my space flight apparatus with my more traditional life support helmet, I switched on my personal cloaking device and walked into the ship.

Within 2 meters, I had to stop and scrape the spam and pizza from my feet with my wristblades.

Ahh throwing off his scent by liberally coating the walkways with other, less digestable food. This prey was quite crafty. It will make a good trophy on my ship.

I will continue to comb the corridors, observing the other prey in hopes of a worthy trophy. When I have collected my fill, I shall contact the armada to come a turn this ship into scrap.

Personal log:
Actually the pizza/spam combo is quite good. I find it has a certain untainted taste to it. I shall collect some for the return to the mothercraft.

7th Aug 2000, 05:41 PM
OshadowO's Log Star Date Unknown:
My escape shuttle is almost out of fuel. I think I've lost the evil Darth Hitler's ships that were pursuing me. So what if I sliced up two or three of Darth Hitler's Pokemon? I was trying to see what makes the little buggers tick. I'm pikcing up signals that may be another ship. Hopefully it's not Darth Hitler's. If they're friendly I'll tell them I'm a Medicine Man. My 2 years of extensive training as a shaman and dissecting Pokemon should allow me to get by on BSing till I figure a way to get back to my ho's in the m0tits system. I hope to God it's friendlies. Preparing to transmit distress signal now.

OshadowO's Log Supplemental:
As long as this ship doesn't have a problem with spam and pizza combos I should be able to make it.

The Dopefish
7th Aug 2000, 05:47 PM
APHC log...screw this.

Since I came online, I have heard tales of a "thread" of some sort, and how it was so big that it destroyed itself. I decided to search for this thread in the ship's old, defunct database. It wasn't long before I found the thread, and showed it to everyone for the second time. :)

Cap'n Beeb
7th Aug 2000, 07:28 PM
WOOHOO!!! FREE BEER!!! Weapon testing should be much more fun now :)

About the pizza problem, I have an idea. First, gather some pokemon carcasses, staple them to the wall, then spray with beer. This works by having the pokemon DNA mix into the nasty pizza DNA (Does pizza have DNA) and neutralizes both into nothingness.

Also, I have spotted several occurences of a wavy distortion in the air. Either it is someone playing around with my cloaking device, or its something else. I have also noticed the wavy air likes the replicated pizza that is all over deck 8. It shows no hostile intentions, but I am advising everyone to stay alert, it could be some form of pokemon we haven't seen yet. If you need a cloaking device (I have made many more) just ask.

I still haven't found henke yet. I will continue my search ASAP. When we do get him back, someone ought to put a bell or something on him ;)

Temporary Account
7th Aug 2000, 08:15 PM
Ensigns Log: Stardate 6942.77

I spoke with CSO Beerbaron, and he propsed a novel idea as to the clean up. Apperantly, mixing all three substances: dead pokemon, beer, and replicated pizza, will induce a reaction that turns all three into vapor. I'm requesting the enlistment of our engineering department to create for me a gunlike device that will accept a cartrige of beer cans and a top-loaded feeder of PokeCorpses. Central will be a mixing chamber that will turn it into a cleaning foam that can be sprayed on the walls. Once this machine is complete, clean-up should be a snap.

Personal Log
CSO Beerbaron mentioned a strange anomoly occuring in the vicinity of Deck 8. I too have noticed this, and I must say it gave me chills. I'm hoping that the captain approves my request for the prisoner work detail, as I fear spending any time down there alone.

Also, note to self: Try to drink less beer before you go on PokeCorpse gathering expiditions...

8th Aug 2000, 12:56 AM
OshadowO's Log Star Date Unknown
OK this is getting annoying no contact has been made with this vessel yet. I think I may have to try and sneak in and risk it. If it is the dastardly Darth Hitler's men then I'm SOL. However this vessel looks very peculiar. It looks like a a big pancake with strips of bacon. I shall infiltrate the pancake/bacon ship and hope for the best unless contact is established.

Temporary Account
8th Aug 2000, 02:59 AM
While familiarizing myself with the controls on the bridge, I recieved a faint signal on our short range sensors. Upon further investigation, it was revealed to be a small craft, heavily damaged as if from recent battle. I attempted to find the captain to notify him of this, but he was nowhere to be found. First Officer Vortex is on a mission to the "Pokemon Realm", and I'm unable to reach him.

Most of the other Senior Officers are also busy, either with ship repairs, PokeMutant eradication or engineering duties, so I have taken it upon myself to hail the ship. I recieved no response from the vessel, but scans indicate that most of it's vital systems have been damaged. I'm unsure as to how to proceed, as it may be crewed by hostiles which our harried crew is ill equipped to deal with at the moment.

I'm going to consult with Chief Security Officer Beerbaron, and see if he can form a security team. If so, we may open the rear shuttlebay doors and hope that the craft notices and understands our intentions. If it docs, a security detail will be on hand in case anything goes awry. And if they're friendly, well...I'll have Beerbaron bring some extra beer!

I hope I hear back from my superiors on this matter soon, as the crafts life support and power systems appear to be in a rapid state of decay.

8th Aug 2000, 03:24 AM
prisoner's log, stardate 123456.14:

it's been roughly two weeks since my capture. i've had the leisure to do some serious thinking, sitting here in one of the Eternaty's oh so comfortable prisons. bah, a prison should be cold and dark and wet, not like this. the only thing that sets this prison apart from an ordinary room is that is has no replicator. this proves how weak and soft these people really are.

enough. there are more important matters now.

i've never been able to fully understand how i could have been captured so easily, and by a bunch of amateurs at that! it was almost as if they had some kind of inside information. they fired Cannonball Henke at just the right spot, where my ship is most sensitive.

day after day, prisoners come and go. but my crew seems to have just gone. every day another one is released and does not return. instead, my former crew is set to active duty on this cursed ship! how could they betray their captain like that?!

it makes me wonder though. i wouldn't be surprised if my "loyal and faithful" crew had something to do with my being captured in the first place. yes...now that i think about it, that Ensign....what was his name?...Ensign TA, that was it! i'll remember to pay him a visit when i break out of here. and i'll make sure he'll remember that!

the time is nearly come. i may look defeated, but i still have a final trump. there is one who is still loyal to me at least! i could be contacted any minute now. haha, the fools! when he's locked on to me, no force field is going to be able to stop me from getting out of here! hahahaaaaaaaa!!! {another burst of insane laughter}.

"prisoner" Dickard out.

8th Aug 2000, 03:35 AM
Code red!
i managed to get my hands on a terminal so that i can warn everyone that the picachu mutants have eaten a hole in the ship and the pressure is dropping rapidly. I have sealed an airlock so that the air wont run out...
but it is just for the time being, the mutants will proabably eat through the door too...we need firepower now...

8th Aug 2000, 04:03 AM
Captainslog stardate ?$$#@!!?^^:

as i have thought the lorg vessels crew is a very good addition to our own, i also have seen that more and more people are wiling to join our crusade.
there have been a couple of problems the last 6 years but me and my crew have beaten tru it!

most of our pokemon trouble are over, but as i have rejected orders by starfleet i fear that they will sand a raid party to intercept us, we can only hope!

our aphc has proven very usefull as i have thought he would, whille all other crew thought of him as a anoining spamming f00, i always believed in him!
cataloging the critters! geniusly!
he informs me that he has spared 1 of them named jiggly[PuF]

we r setting course for tauron now t recieve some new missions.

as for the situation with the mutated pokemon, my chief securaty has taken good care of that problem.(the beer sucked neways, get some better to selabrate our victory on the pokemon)
the spam on the lower decks is being cleared by some strange wave in the air, we dont know what it is but it does a nice job, we should try to communicate with this wave.
also my cs has added a great amount of weapons to our arsenal, a little strange weapons but weapon non the less!

as i was saying the lorg crew is doing a fine job!
take our new ensine for example, hes has been very understanding about the situation and has understood the need to make decisions when all of the other crew is occupied.
the vessel he has detected has landed when we opened our hanger bays and the story of this man that came out is amazing!
(wtf, flying in a pancake/bacon ship a an prestation on its own!)
we now will need to watch our step for this darth hitler.
in adition to this story i have been informed that thos "shadow" as he calls himself has a skill in medicine!
finaly! with the spam and pokemon injured poeple on his ship we need a GOOD DOCTOR, our emh sux ***(littaraly, and nobody likes getting his *** sucked right?)

the situation with the sjkaaar war is still develooping, i am afraid that itis not the last we hear about this.


CaSCaDe out.


i have receaved underground information that captain dickard (gramps:)) has made escape plans i have doubled the shifts to guard him, and have put in the isolation chambers,
no bed, no toilet, no tv, no light, NO NOTHING!
and i have cut his rations to just bread and water!:)

CaSCaDe out.

8th Aug 2000, 04:32 AM
== ultimate personal encryption code enabled. ==

prisoner's log, stardate 123456.19:

yes! i knew my personal logs were being scanned. due to my latest log input, Captain CaSCaDe has transferred me to the isolation chamber with only water and bread to live on. hah, he couldn't have done me a greater pleasure! here, in the darkness, i can concentrate.

meanwhile i've been contacted by my secret ally and he's ready to get me out of here. nothing can stop me now. yes, i know they'll find this log entry sooner or later, but it'll take them a while to decode it. and i'll be long gone by then.

fools! i told you i'd escape! i'm gone, but not for good. i'll be back when you least expect it! you can count on that...vendetta!!!

Dickard out.

8th Aug 2000, 07:07 AM
Phew! I finally made it back to the ship and it appears that many things have changed in my absence. There is a foul smelling substance lining the walls along with various pokemon corpses. Also, as I walked down the corridors, I was briefly assualted by an unknown persona. Judging by his appearence, I would say he is from a hunter race.

I now must conosult one of my fellow crewmembers to find out what has been happening in my absence.

8th Aug 2000, 07:13 AM
I'm glad to announce that the pokemon thread is over once and for all. Using beer and pizza me and a few other crewmembers were able to clear all pokemon and spam coated decks. I have sealed the surviving pokemons in cargobay 4 and protected the door with a level 15 forcefield. I just wanted to kill them, when I dicovered another pokemon weapon. It seems that they develop hypnotic mind-controlling when threatend. I couldn't overcome to harm them.
However when I was trying to repair the replicator (I want pizza!) I discoveres a way to deal with this. A person who eats 2 days old replicated Gorgonzola chees is immune against the hypnosis! We only need to find a volunteer.
I can also report that Starfleet has stopped the pokemon invasion force at Wolf 359.
Commander Vortex returned from the pokemon dimension, where he sealed the breach. So we have one problem less!

We also received new crewmembers, like Ensign TA or Doctor Shadow, who already did great work here.
Now we only need a cook as I don't know how long I can eat replicated food.

I searched on all decks for our Science Officer Skumboy, but couldn't find him. I aked the other officers but noone has seen him. I wonder where he is, as the computer isn't able to find him either.

I explored multiple sightings of unknown being on decks 8 and 9. First analysis show that it is most probably a cloaked hirogen Hunter. The encounters with this species indicate that a peaceful solution isn't very probable. Finding him has top priority (AFTER repairing the replicators). I ordered that enginering re-configuers the internal sensors.

8th Aug 2000, 07:32 AM
im starting to get worried over here....im stuck in a corner with 2 huge mutants. That doesnt seem so friendly and they have noticed that some parts of me is metal (like my arm-photon-cannon that is disabled by the EMP experiment), and the mutants seem to get bigger by eating metal. they have tripled their size since they mutated....

Im looking around and i see that im located on deck 7 (even though the lights dont work)

so could someone pleas send some troops up here before it is too late?

over n' out

Cap'n Beeb
8th Aug 2000, 09:38 AM
AHH!! A breach in the hull! DAMMIT!! Good thing it was secured though. Anyway, I have noticed Mr. Wavy Air many more times than before. It still hasn't "attacked" me in anywy I can tell, but I am still cautious, and I advise everyone else to be too.

Also about the hull, I have made a foam like substance that works as a sealant and adhesive. Using old beer cans, a cardboard box, and left over pizza crust, the mix bubbles into this foam which makes an airtight seal around anything. It is also unbreakable to every weapon I have tried. Maybe we could use this to capture the 2 monster things that have captured henke.

About henke. Due to his last report, I am on my way to deck 7 and see if I can locate, and bring him out of there.

Also, I have made more weapons in case we need to have a little "chat" with the wavy air guy. The weapons are as follows. (Note: Some are from my personal collection of ancient 20th centry handguns and rifles, but they still work, sometimes better than what we have now.)

1. Glock 21 .45
2. M16A2*/M203 40mm Grenade Launcher
3. Desert Eagle .50 AE (MASSIVE RECOIL!)
4. Robar .50 BMG Sniper Rifle (I warn everyone NOT TO USE THIS WITHIN 100 YARDS OF THE HULL! Save it for when and if we land)
5. HK MP5/A3 10mm
6. HK MP5/A3*
7. HK MP5/A3*
8. HK MP5/A3*

*= These have attached Beta C mags which hold 100 rounds.

Also, I have sent some beer to the guy who recently arrived in our rear bay thing (I forget what it is) Enjoy :)

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
8th Aug 2000, 09:51 AM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

I have managed to wander the corridors largely unoticed. The small yellow rodent population aboard the ship has seem to subside, although the intoxicating aroma or shplam and peezza still coats many walls and ceilings. I am finding it hard to concentrate on the job at hand.

I followed two heavily armed prey down to a small room. They seem to be escorting another prey into a small room. After they appears to lock the smaller prey, I easily dispatched them both. After ripping out their skulls and spinal columns, I peered in on the strange prey that they seem so scared of. Chuckle. Appears to be an old prey, hardly worth a fight. After re-initializing my cloak field, I casually unlocked the small prey's cell and bolted down the corridor to a lift tube.

I headed up to their bridge, scraping come peezza and schplam from the wall. I had a light snack while looking over the various controls on the ship.

OOPPS. Damn I spilled some food on a control marked "Navigation". Nothing a little cleaning with my wristblades won't cure.

Damn. Their equipment is so fragile. I just put my blades through those controls. Well, they'll know I am here soon, so I ran back to the lift tube and headed down to some area called "Engineering"

Cap'n Beeb
8th Aug 2000, 12:30 PM
On my regular "wonder whats down this way" tour of the ship, I found henke!!! He has eaten quite abit of metal and it looks like something tried to make a snack out of him, but I think he will be alright.

UPDATE: I have used my sealent foam and secured the Engineering room where the wavy guy was last seen. Thats the only way in or out of there as far as I know. I found something that can break the foam, incase it finds another way out, or someone is in there. I used the heating coils and the anti-pokemon toaster, the things are probably the sharpest tools I have seen in a while.

I am advising everyone to stay away from the engineering room until we have found out the intentions of the wavy guy. Maybe its friendly, maybe its not, I just don't know right now.

I have noticed that we seem to be moving in a circle. Later today, I'll go up to navigation and see wtf is happening.

8th Aug 2000, 12:36 PM
I made some progress in hunting this wavy air guy. From pieces of pizza a found on the bridge, I concluded that he was there, as there were previous reports that he likes pizza. He seems to have a strong stomach. I placed some holographic crewmen throughout the ship, hoping that wavy air gets the bait. And I was not disappointed. Soon after this two slaughtered holographic corpses were found on deck 8.
Now I'm sure that he is a Hirogen hunter.I can't believe he thought they were real. The intelligence reports about their dumbness were true.

From all known facts I made a plan to catch him.
I placed pizza traces starting at engineering (the wavy air effect was last reported from there) and leading to cargobay 5.
There I will trap him in forcefield. By all his stupidity this will be very easy.

We still need a volunteer who eats the replicated Gorgonzola and then kills the remaining pokemons!
Perhaps Ensign TA. If he does I will se what I can do for his promotion. Doctor Shadow is waiting in sickbay, if there are complications....

8th Aug 2000, 12:39 PM
I met one of those terrible beings, hunters. He came in to engineering and attacked me. I managed to defend myself but that was only because of my experience of theses creatures in my spam-pirate days.
We have a new doctor onboard. His name is Shadow and I know him from before. He and I were part of the crew of Pylaus, one of the greatest spam-pirate ships in known space. Unfortuanetly he was plotting back then a muteny and I found out. I reported to the captain, the legendary Rooster, andhe was arrested. But he managed to escape and I can not to this day understand how. I fear that if he finds out that I am part of the crew here he will take revenge. I better be on my watch.

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
8th Aug 2000, 01:34 PM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Upon making it down to engineering, I saw that some very bright prey have made it there ahead of me. Now I am questioning who is the predator and the prey here.

Hmm, I see someone has been dropping peezza on the floor. The fool. As I scoop up a piece I see another one farther down the cooridor. Ahh the rest of the Armada will like these.

Wait. I stopped short of a room called cargo bay 5. Something smells, fishy here. I grabbed a few of the yellow rodents as I came this direction and threw then into the room.

AHA, a forcefield trap. My these Beings make worthy prey. I guess that way is blocked. So I ducked into what looks like a feeding room. Noone is about, so I'll switch off my cloak, unbuckle these damn tight weapon belts and sit down.

Now for some Peezza and schplam.

Hmmm Yummy

The Dopefish
8th Aug 2000, 01:57 PM
Even with the Pokemon gone, I still hold little Pokemon matches on the holodeck. I'm reenacting, in my own, special way, the travels of that Ash kid, only I kicked his *** out of the story and made Misty 18. :D

8th Aug 2000, 03:58 PM
New recruit Sam's log, stardate whatever it is today.

I have just joined the USS Eternaty. I hope to be a valuable asset to the crew by doing 3 things:

a) Getting the ship renamed "Eternity" because that is how it is spelt

b) Exposing Dopefish's activities on the holodeck, which shall show him to a) have watched Pokemon and b) fantasized about one of the characters. Mwahahaha.

c) I also hope to persuade the captain to replace our outdated and obsolete energy weapons armory with axes that you can swing around your head and scream "RRRRRAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" with.

As well as this, I would like to know the correct way to sign off a log.

The Dopefish
8th Aug 2000, 04:08 PM
I have started a petition to get Sam The Man thrown in the brig. :D

Cap'n Beeb
8th Aug 2000, 06:15 PM
Uh, we might be fecked here people. I went up to the navigation deck to see why we were moving in circles, and making a nice little descent to some planet I have yet to identify, when I noticed that there was a couple of slash marks in the main navigation computer's circuitry!! We need an engineer up here immediatley!!

Along with the slash marks, there were lots of traces of spam and pizza. Since I have yet to see any bladed weapons here onboard, I am only assuming it was done by the wavy air guy. If you see it, proceed with extreme caution.

I have made some infrared and night vision googles so we can see in the darkened sectors of the ship. If you need them, don't hesitate to ask.

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
8th Aug 2000, 07:18 PM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third *belch* Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Well, somehow I cannot fit in my cloak field, When turned on, it can no longer hide my enormous gut. I have proceeded to clean the *belch* Feeding area and the surrounding halls of this wonderful thing they call peezza.

Now, I just need someplace to wash it down, some good reading material, and a place to deposit my waste.

Hmm this room is marked "Holo-suite", I wonder what....


Someone tear out my eyes!!!!. I saw something disgusting going on with a yellow rodent and a red-haired little girl. Ohh by frak, I think....I THINK!!!


Eww. Well at least my gut shrank. Time to stalk some more.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

8th Aug 2000, 10:53 PM
Medical Officer's Log :
Star Date: 132446454564864
I was fortunate to be rescued by this ships good captain Cascade. I felt I didn't have strength left to make the break in plan work. At once I was assigned to be the ships Medical Officer- they must be desperate they didn't even ask for a resume'.
No sooner did I sign on I was shown to the sick bay where one of the crew Henke was awaiting aid. One look at him and I said "I'm a doctor damn it not a blacksmith." Still I prescribed two doses of WD40 twice a day and told him to switch to 90 octane instead of 89. He seemed like a fine young lad.
Something very exciting was bought to my attention lately. I overheard TO 8-4-7-2 word his concerns of a Hirogen hunter
on board. I have come across this species in my days with Captain Rooster and almost got the chance to dissect on of them before the compassionate dolt let him free. I mean he was a Hirogen hunter. Yet I remember the means by which we captured him. With the help of a Pokemon PizzaRaRa whose super Pizza attack subdues the hunter temporarily using strands of mozerella and renders their cloaking field useless. However I shall have to breed PizzaRaRa back as they are an extinct species. I'm certain with a few genetic alterations in some of the surviving Pokemon on this ship and inter-bredding I can do this. Besides I hear some people on this ship are into PokePorn, it should serve to entrtain the crew as well, Not to mention PizzaRaRa's second ability was culinary arts and damn this ship needs a cook.

Temporary Account
9th Aug 2000, 01:34 AM
I don't feel so well. As I had mostly cleaned up the levels of the ship that were coated in pizza, I foolishly volunteered for the removal of the remaining Pokemon in Cargo Bay 4. Little did I know what this would involve. Let's just say that if I come into contact with Gorgonzola cheese again, I'll be a happy man.

Fortunatly, it had it's effect (other than the earth shattering heading and bowel shaking nausea), and I was able to successfuly resist the hypnotic lure of the Pokemon. In thinking about it, I think just about anything that made me violently ill enough to be a distraction would have worked. I managed to work the controls, although mostly on reflex, and atomized the sickeningly cute creatures. Hopefully this is the LAST we'll see of them, as I don't think we could handle any more of their mischief, especially with the dangerous mission now ahead of us.

I'm going to head to sickbay now and see if our new doctor can give me anything to help me sleep. I think I'll just rest a little while. Hopefully I'll feel better soon, then I'll find my superiors and see what duties are available for me to carry out. Maybe I'll confer with the Science and Engineering officers about the communications and sensor capabilities of our fine shi....oh god...<noise ommited>. Uhhhh...that's a little better..I wonder if the doc makes Cabin Calls...

<End of Log>

9th Aug 2000, 03:40 AM
Medical Officer's Log
Star Date 254697874
I have noticed something very interesting. The star dates have no logical sequence. I also had to make my first house call.
Ensign Temporary Account had extreme PokePizza Poisoning. A rare disease yes. I look forward to dissecting him if he doesn't make it. Still I have to follow my hypothetical hypocritical oath and try and save his life. He wanted to be put to sleep. At first my eyes lit up "Yes dissection after all!" I thought but then I understood he only meant temporarily. So I gave him some sleep inducing pills that I smuggled of Darth Hitler's ships. He used to use those to put his Pokemon to sleep when they were too irratible. Since the ensign is much larger then your average Pokemon I gave him an extra dose. To be certain I also gave him some anit pizza poison tooth paste and told him to brush 50 times a day for two days. THat should give him immunity to this type of disease for the next 12.45698 decades by my calculations. Yes I think I like this job
Medical Officer's Log Supplemental
My genetic experiments with the Pokemon to try and breed PizzaRaRa have progresses well. I have concieved a baby RaRa and a mother Za is pregnant with hopefully a Pizza. If all goes well I shall have Pizza and RaRa ready to breed within 18 standard hours thanks to some growth accelerating technology. Which reminds me I need to find a way to get my hands on some decent medicines for humans. The Pokemon stuff does not quiet cut it. I hope the poor ensign is ok. Those sleep pills can cause intense diarrhea. I hope he remembers to brush tho because that should cure him of it as long as he brushes the first 10 times. Maybe I should have mentioned that. Too late now.

9th Aug 2000, 06:26 AM
commander's log ???

Hmm. I am finding it hard to concentrate on this log as I can some noise coming from just down the corridor. It sounds like a dog but I don't dare investigate it incase it is another pokemon. I have noticed that we are drifting dangerously close to a nearby planetoid and could enter it's gravitational field soon. I hope our captain knows about this. It appears also that our new member Sam_The_Man wants to change the name of the ship to the USS Eternity. If he wants to then I won't stop him going for a walk outside the ship to repaint the name. To take my mind of the current situation(s) I am now going to engage in some elaborate pokemon related activities in the holodeck. But not before I've put an end to that infuriating creature's barking. Even if it's not a pokemon, I'll still slit it's throat.

End log

9th Aug 2000, 07:38 AM
I'm glad that Ensign Temporary Account volunteered in killing the remaining Pokemons. I appreciate that he risked his own life to save ours. The replicated Gorgonzola worked as I predicted but the sideeffects were stronger than I thought (sorry Ensign). However Doctor OShadow did a great job in healing him, as he did with henke before. The pokemon threat is now over, but I heard that our Doctor began secret experiments the breed new ones. But if it helps the catch Mr. wavy air that's good.

To reward Temporary Account's selfless action I will recommend him to the Captain for a promotion to Lieutenant Junior Grade.

Our new recruit Sam_The_Man, altough he suggested some stupid things, also needs a new position.
He could choose between Communication Officer, helmsman, cook (I want real pizza) or personal assistant to the Tactical Officer ;) The same positions are open the Ensign TA.

Due to the last crises' I noticed increasing stress among the crew. Perhaps we could meke a detour to Casperia Prime. This is the new recreation and fun planet in the Rigel system.
There we can get real pizza, real women(I'm tired of holodeck sex.....computer delete the last sentence) and a lot of fun.
But as I heared that the ship is in threatening near of an asteroid, my suggestion will surly be dismissed :(

[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on 08-09-2000 at 08:43 AM]

9th Aug 2000, 08:14 AM
commanders log supplemental

Just a quick note to say that I agree that the captain should detour to Casperia Prime as 8-4-7-2 suggested. There was a severe power drain in the holodecks recently and the computer was only able to generate 2-dimensional beings. Damn. It also appears that some unusual text appeared at the end of my previous log. If anyone is skilled in alen languages could you please have a look at this.

end log

9th Aug 2000, 09:00 AM
Ensign RizMan's Log, USSArabella, stardate 52789.2

Today, we met with an unknown species. Scanners showed, that their weapon strength was superior to ours. Captain tried to hail them, but without any result. After a few moments of silence, the TO reported that the unknown ship was activating his weapons. The captain ordered to put all resources into shields, but unfortunately, it did not help. After one hit, shields were down, deflector and warp were out of order. Then, everything happened very fast. I don't know how often they hit us, but our ship's hull was about to break. Most of the crew members were already dead, due to the explosions. I tried to help them, but it was to late. May they rest in peace.
We had hull leaks on almost all of the decks of our ship. I managed to get to the shuttle ramp. I waited until the last moment, but nobody else showed up, so I had to start engines and take off before the ship exploded

The shuttles engines were damaged due to the explosions shockwave, so I'm drifting now in outer space. Scanners don't work, so I can't tell if any StarFleet ship is in this sector. I started a rescue beacon. Hopefully someone's gonna find it and come for me. I've got only 2, perhaps 3 days to live without food nor water.
I will try to make more log inputs, but I don't know if I gonna stay awake. I'm badly wounded, lost a lot of blood. I managed to stop the bleeding, but my medical skills are not good enough to heel everything.
I got to stop now. I feel that I won't do it very long anymore.
If anyone find this, please tell my girlfriend that I love her...forever...

End of log

[Edited by RizMan|PuF on 08-09-2000 at 09:30 AM]

9th Aug 2000, 09:53 AM

9th Aug 2000, 10:29 AM
Whoops I didn't read that log bit in your post. Sorry! Anyhow back to the story.

While I was sitting at the communications desk, I picked up an extremely faint starfleet class distress signal. It is coming from a class 3 escape shuttle that appears to have drifted far off our established transport routes. we must retirve this vessel as soon as we can as the shuttles occupant has stated that he has no food/water supplies. I have notified engineering and they working as hard as they can to get our ship out of the pull of this asteroid.

9th Aug 2000, 10:39 AM
Personal log, stardate 5978.5

I slept for a few hours now, but I don't feel better. Pain is getting worse every minute. I really don't know how long I'm gonna make it in this shuttle w/o any supplies.
I'm wondering if any other crewmember of the Arabella made it out of the ship before it exploded. I lost a lot of good friends onboard of this ship. Damnit, if only I could have done something to save the USSArabella from these aliens. I feel guilty for it's destruction, but there wasn't anything we I could have done.
I feel weaker with every word I'm saying, so I'm gonna stop here and pray that someone finds this rescue beacon.

End Log

9th Aug 2000, 10:52 AM
Vortex and RizMan: Perhaps you could delete this two posts.
For me, I must say that I didn't think, that RiMan meant the Eternaty!

Tactical Officer's log Stardate 4563636.5

As I could reach noone in engineering (What are they doing down there) I remembered an old wisdom: "If you want something done right, make it yourself".
So I transfered auxililary (sp?) energy to the warp drive and emitted a warp shock wave through our main deflector. This provided us with enough thrust to overcome the gravitational field.

New scans show that the Starfleet distress signal is in direct route between our position and Casperia Prime. This comes very handy as I already have Commander Vortex on my side!

We are now heading with warp 3 to Ensign RizMan's last known position. I only hope we arrive in time. I will call Doctor OShadowO in sickbay to stand by for emergency revival.

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
9th Aug 2000, 11:29 AM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

These beings are amusing to no end. It seems that they have no direction and seem intent on saving every wounded being from here to the galactic core. I have managed to sneak into the command area again.

Hmm, noone appears to be about or noticing the lift's door opening and closing.

I see they attempted to fix that damn console called "Navigation". Hmm interesting. Here is one called "Life support" and another called "Weapon systems".


I quickly and carefully peels the name plates off and replaced "Life Support" with "Weapon systems" and vice versa.

Should be interesting to see the results. I, also found the captains quarters. I will hide in here for a while until I get more commands from the armada. In the mean time, I can snack on some peezza-schplam.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

Temporary Account
9th Aug 2000, 12:01 PM
I recieved a visit from Doctor OshadowO. He gave some sleeping pills and toothpaste. I'm not sure, but I think the good Doctor may be partaking a little too much of his own medication. He gave me a ludicrous prescription to brush 50 times a day! I'm sure he must have been mistaken...maybe he meant 5. That sounds more reasonable. While the sleep was very peaceful, and the headache and nausea seem to be gone, I know have an attrocious case of diarreah. I suppose it's to be expected though, after eating all that cheese.

I've been commended by Lt. Cmd. 8-4-7-2 for my efforts, and he's recommended me for a promotion! He also informed me that there is an opening for Communications Officer, which I'm very happy about. I hope the Captain is amenable to his suggestions. I'm hoping to feel better by tomorrow and get back to my duties. Especially if we are going to the pleasure planet, as some rumors have stated. I feel the whole crew would benifit from a break. I'm glad my superiors see this also. Oh boy...bathroom break...

<End of Log>

9th Aug 2000, 12:24 PM
I fear that the lifeform I was attacked may still be onboard. I was taking my pet Gengar for a walk when it pointed out to me that the labels for life support and weapons systems had been switched around. A nice attempt at sabotage, I guess, but considering that both consoles have different layouts and there is no such weapon system as "artificial gravity", it is also rather laughable. It is not long before this intruder does some serious damage however, so it would nice to find it as soon as possible. We are now six hours away fom the location of the escape shuttle. We just hope that the occupant is able to hold uot for that long.

9th Aug 2000, 12:30 PM
I have been unable to chat with most of my crewmates because of all the work I have performed. The pokemons made quíte a mess down here in engeenering and I had to go up on the bridge to fix some of the controls that the wavy air guy smashed. All is well now and I have heard that we are getting a wounded member of that lost ship that the pokemons blew up. I still fear the doctors intensions on this ship and I have heard that he's methods are a bit...unconventionale.

9th Aug 2000, 12:47 PM
I detected an anomaly in our life support system, causing a dangerous low level of oxygen on the bridge. So I went to the controle station and pressed a few buttons, when suddenly a huge explosion rocked the ship. I soon found out that I've accidently activated our new multi target phaser phalanx.
(Someone switched the stations' labels and due to the lack of oxygen I lost orientation).

The scans showed that we had a lucky shot and destroyed a cloaked Hirogen vessel.Further examinations showed Hirogen fingerprints on both stations. HAHAH... nice attempt, but it went into the wrong direction! Perhaps we have even destroyed Mr. wavy air's personell shuttle.

As everyone knows Hirogen ships have a Monotanium hull armor. I suggest we quickly salvage the debris. We could for example enhance henke. And who knows what else we can do with it?

Cap'n Beeb
9th Aug 2000, 12:47 PM
Starlog: 363

Due to the recent events of the switching name plates for critical components in engineering, I am almost certain of two things.

1. Someone is trying to sabatage us (not a very good job though)

2. Its probably the wavy air guys doings.

So therefore, I am advising everyone to try to eliminate the wavy air thing before it can do any serious damage.

Oh, someone threw a whole bunch of those annoying 20th centry AOL discs into the weapons locker. Even though this could be bad, they serve as a weapon I call "death frisbies." They fly really good, have excellent range and stability, and are razor sharp. I have tons of these things, if anyone wants some, take a whole bunch, I don't care. Just get them out of here!

Also, I have gotten ahold of a spare replicator, and I will begin work on it as soon as I can so we can get some edible pizza here!

9th Aug 2000, 01:02 PM
Medical Officer's Log
Star Date 9865354321 and then some more

My experiments with the Pokemon breeding have gone horribly wrong. A mutant Pizza came out and it devoured my RaRa instead of mating with it. I was planning on dissecting it when I heard the Mutant Pizza trying to say in it's squeaky voice, "Kill, Kill Hirogen Hunter...Kill Hirogen Hunter." Since I had no further use for the mutant Pizza I let it loose in the hopes it would do some damage to the hunter who has no means of escape now. In the meanwhile I will continue to try and breed a Pizza and RaRa in hopes of getting PizzaRaRa...damn I need some decent Pizza.
They placed me on alert, it appears we are on a rescue mission to save some schmuck from somewhere. I still need to find some decent medicine in this ship, the Poke Medicine just does not work well on humans. I hope the ensign is Ok. I will leave him a message to brush, I like the guy.
Suplemental's Suplemental
GASP! I think I have seen MoyDoy in engineering. My old enemy. Could it be that he survived the hydrogen-chlorinate-carbohydrate protien plague invasion that infested Captain Rooster's ship while he was patrolling the feeble-warble system?? This is not good I must watch my step. I cannot do anything o dissect him...err move against him but I will bide my time. Now I must go to deck 16 II for I was told that there may be some real medication there.

9th Aug 2000, 01:20 PM
Personal Log, Stardate 58973.6

I'm doing this with my last resources I have. I won't stay alive very long I think. I managed to get the cummunication system to work again and I'm constantly sending out my position using a starfleet identification code, so that anyone who gets this signal can track me. I hope that there will be rescue soon. Hopefully the Lorg won't find me first or worse, the aliens which attacked the USSArabella

End Log

9th Aug 2000, 02:34 PM
Medical Officers Log
Star Date: 20 minutes after my last entry.
Damn that Mutant Pizza Pokemon jumped out of the ship and was sniffing outside in the debris or the Hirogen Hunter's ship. Idiot. I had to use the tractor beam to pull him back inside and unleash him unto the hunter again.
I left the captain a message on his holo mail about the lack of human medicines and now must return to deck 16II so I can find some medicines. I think I might have to go deeper in though, to the liandri central core, But I hope that MoyDoy isn't hovering around in there.
This deck 16 place sucks. Damn it I need human medicine...Oww god damned slime in Deck 16 this place is dripping with goo!!

[Edited by OshadowO on 08-09-2000 at 11:20 PM]

9th Aug 2000, 02:43 PM
commander's log ???

We are now within visual range of the stricken starfleet shuttle. I will hail the occupant to alert him to our approach. I am not sure how to bring the ship aboard. The hull appears to be in a bad away and using the tractor beam could cause the situation to worsen. Either way, we must act quickly as I detect an unknown vessel approaching our coordinates. The sooner the starfleet officer is rescued, the sooner we can take the Etarnaty to that paradise planet whose name I've forgotten. We could all do with a break. Also, I have not heard from, nor seen, the captain in a long time. I fear that CaSC...CaSc.. Cascade may be in deserted area of the ship suffering from a spam-related illness. With all the stuff that has been smeared on the walls I'm surprised we're all still alive. Perhaps the captain is also afraid to visit the sickbay incase he becomes the subject of the doctors unusual methods.

end log

9th Aug 2000, 03:00 PM
We have arrived at RizMan's rescue shuttle. Because it is severly damaged Commander Vortex was worried to use the tractor beam. I adviced him just to beam this officer out and forget about the ship which is damaged beyond repair.
As I heard about really strange methods of Doctor OShadowO (he uses pokemon medicine and wants to dissect everyone) I transfered Ensign RizMan to holodeck 2 and let our old EMH work at him. If his state of health get worse we can still call Doctor OShadowO.

Commander Vortex thinks that the Captain may be harmed during the last combats. I must inform that the same thing could have happened to our science officer Skumboy too.
I sent people out to search for them

We are now on our way to Casperia Prime and I can't wait to eat my first real pizza for years. Oh and the girls there......

<computer: end log>

9th Aug 2000, 03:12 PM
I have decided to confront OshadowO and find out what he's intensions are. I will arm my self but I will also explain to him that I do not intend to hurt. I am afraid that this might be my last log.

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
9th Aug 2000, 03:37 PM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

I have finished going through the head prey's living cube. Nothing abnormal to report, except for a pair of red spike heeled shoes and a red dress.


I grabbed a spare communicator to listen in on them. It appears that they have completed another rescue. And it appears that they don't trust thier doctor. Hmm how funny.

I shall leave the captain's quarters and head back out into the bridge. Since they have destroyed one of my ships, I'll need to radio the armada for a new one. In the mean time....

Ahh we are approaching Casperia Prime. A front for a hunter's guild there. I should be able to resupply and contact the armada from there. Good.

Now I think I'll head down to where they keep the injured. Maybe I can catch the one prey confront the doctor prey.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

9th Aug 2000, 05:12 PM
RizMan's Log, Stardate 59879.3

The last thing I can remember was a hail from a starfleet ship named USSEternaty. Never heart of that before. I couldn't answer the hail, cause I was unable to move, lying on the floor. But what a relief when I heart the message: This is Commander Vortex from the USSEternaty. We're going to beam you to our sickbay.
Next thing I can remember is that I woke up in sickbay. I was told by the doctor that I was unconscious for about 1 day. However it seemed that this was not a real doc, but the EMH. Don't they have any doctor on board? He told be I was going to get better very soon, but I do not trust these Holodoctors all to much.
I'm still not able to move, so the only thing I can do is have this logbook for the moment.
However, I'm getting tired. I still feel pain, even if I got some medicine from the doc.

End Log

9th Aug 2000, 06:01 PM
Communications Officer's Log, Stardate The Morning After The Night Before

Exactly according to my plans, TO 8-4-7-2 gave me permission to repaint the USS Eternity. This job, though seemingly menial, gives me an oppurtunity to put the only unfulfilled part of my plan into action... replace the energy weapons armory with huge, blood-stained battle axes. To do this I have decided to destroy the USS Eternity and the armory with it, then put a few axes in a heap and call it the new armory, as this is more fun than simply bugging the Captain.

Because of this, I will be going out onto the ships hull now, to start Phase 547653 of my plan into action (if the Stardates don't have to have continuity then nor do my Phases). This will seem like an unenviable task to the rest of the crew, and very dangerous. This will give me all the time I need to start my plan, as everyone will think I am dead if I am late back. Furthermore, no-one will care since I apparently make stupid suggestions.

While for this task a space suit might appear to be the best equipment, I shall instead take a horde of Pokemon from the ship's breeding center and suck the air out of one of their lungs every 2 minutes. This will enable me to watch the Pokemon asphyxiate horribly in deep space as well as start Phase 547653.

I shall now leave for the ship's airlock. I shall use a radio connected to this log to make futher supplementals.

9th Aug 2000, 07:24 PM

Cap'n Beeb
9th Aug 2000, 09:42 PM
I fear we have a traitor among ourselves. This person is Sam_The_Man or something. He plans to destroy the ship, among other things. This includes my armory too!!! AHHH!! I am setting out to capture this little *censored by computer* and kick the living ****e out of him.

Also, whoever is in charge of ordering parts, I suggest a Red Arrow 7-beam hull-piercing Projector. Excellent for taking out ships way out in the distance.

I have found something in the replicator which could be the cause for the cardboard tasting pizza. There is a little piece of cardboard jammed in the main mixing component (dont know what the hell its called) which throws a little speck of the cardboard into the pizza mix. I am proceeding to fix this right now, 'cause I can't wait long enough to get to the paradise planet for some real pizza.

Finally, what the hell was that SMASH sound I heard earlier? I know it came from something called Yellow5, whatever that is, I'm going to investigate that further.

10th Aug 2000, 12:32 AM
Medical Officers Log
Stardate 696969696969
I like this date indeed. I also look forward to arriving at casperia prime. Nothing heels men better then some good looking women. I have also discovered to my horror one of my newly bred Pokemon missing. He was a queer little bugger who kept yellin "pH3aR m3!" in response to everything I said. I hope nobody uses it to sustain themselves in space for if they were to breath any air from it's lungs not only would that keep having to say pH34r m3 at the end of every sentence but they would smell like pizza, and bad one at that. Not a good way to arrive at casperia prime.
The survivor from the shuttle was sent to the EMH instead of sick bay. Damn I wanted to try this other pokemon medicine on him. But just as well as there is very little pokemedicine left on the ship. one that turns whoever is injected with it into a horrible pokemonster who has bad breath and farts and uses noxious smells to destroy it's prey. Not something I want to mess with. I think I shall have to rely on my knowledge as a shaman of the ancient arts to heal from now on.
MoyDoy has been missing. I did not see him in the liandri central core I was surprised since he is the ship's chief engineer. I think I will take an catious approach with him. No need to dissect him yet. Perhaps he will have the flu or something and I'll be able to use this other poke medicine remaining which turns people into roosters. Since he was always kissing upto captain rooster that should be fitting for him.

10th Aug 2000, 03:43 AM
RizMan's log, stardate 56979.3

I'm still in sickbay with this stupid EMH. I just can't stand these Holodocs. They only talk about their medicine crap, something I don't know a clue about. Apparently, he's a newer model then the one we had on the Arabella, but he's worse then ours was. He keeps asking how I feel. What shall I tell him: beside the fact that I was about to die and that I lost my friends not 2 days ago, I'm fine. Well, at least I'm alive, thanks to the EMH, have to admit.

As I lost everything I had, I'm gonna ask permission to stay onboard after having recoverd from my wounds.

When I woke up today, the ship's commander honored me with a visit. I asked to see the captain, but apparently, he's unavailable. Had he vanished? I don't know, the commander wouldn't tell me.
As the capt. wasn't there, I asked Commander Vortex to allow me to stay on the Eternaty after having recoverd. He said, he'll think about it and talk to the capt. as soon as possible.

End Log

10th Aug 2000, 03:53 AM
Captainslog stardate: is there a count?

my apsence has been coused by a wavy air thing wich i think is a hyrogen hunter, after being told all the events happend during my absence i now KNOW it was a hyrogen hunter.
any how i was being held captive in my quarters by this wavy thing, after he left me for a wie-god knows why- iwas able to escape his wraith.

now that i walk tru the coridors of my ship a osme one floating tru space, it looks like our new ensin sam the man with some sort of mutant pokemon behind him and 1 in his hands, WTF?
OMFG! i see that our ensine is being eaten by the mutand pokemon that followed him!
i stand here stunned by the scene that playes before me!
oh well he was going to mute and destoir the ship ne ways, GOOD FOR HIM!

as for this wavy air guy, i have heared from my cso beerbaron that he can be killed with these tons of aol discs he has! FINALY A USE FOR THOSE THINGS!

as for ensine TA welcome well done son, u will be a fine com officer!

my next consurns go to the doctor shadow, he has some strange idease about medacine and if he doesnt change that soon i will need to trow him of the ship.

the rumors about us going to the fun planet that i have heared has waked my attention iwould be pleased to have some relaxation after being kept hostage in your own quarters.

we will stay there for about 2 or 3 weeks, this will do the crew good.

CaSCaDe out.


i think that the SMASH sound that was heared was from some sort of being called yellow 5 wich has almost the same powers as Q, so we will need to watch for this

also i have recieved word from starfleet that the will be put no charges against us for the refusal of orders, cuse starfleet finaly has seen that the tauron r a wurthy allie.
cuse we where held up due to the stuation onboard this ship i have send word to starfleet that they NEEDED to send an other ship that could do the mission.
it has been done.

so now we can finaly relax without having to worry about ne problems at hand (i hope)

CaSCaDe out.

10th Aug 2000, 03:56 AM
suplemental 2:

i have recieved word from my TO that we have rescued a man called rizman, he is curandly in the holodek with our emh(due to the docter thing)but i think, with whtai ve heared from him he will be a fine helms man.
Good luck to him.

CaSCaDe out

10th Aug 2000, 04:44 AM
thanks to the medic i now run on gasoline and food, that proabably wont be so easy to find in outer space...
and i notice *ding, dong*. Oh, wait a minute....
*pfffsssh* (door opens), AH finally, my 50000 megasized home delivery pizzas has arrived.... AND they are mine, Mine, MINE!! i have waited for theese for 15 years....

Any how i notice that we have guns and stuff for a small army and i dont see how we need me (the most dangerous weapon that ever existed), so im think that i shall replace my brain with a Intel Pentium 15900, Axpheleon, systems engineerd, super duper, mega boosted, 59million K GHZ.
And become a tactic or something.
but i think ill put that on hold, and ill keep my nitro backpack and EMP devices, that is 1000 times more powerful than The death Star.

Ummm...could someone spare a million or so??, the delivery boy wants money....*Slash!* someone just cut the deliveryboy in half, i dont know what or who it was but it was cloaked with an optic-camoufage!!!!

Something unknown is running around the ship.

Over n' out.

10th Aug 2000, 05:10 AM
RizMan's log, stardate 789456.3

Today, I saw the captain. He told me that he was held captured in his room by a hirogen hunter. I hope these Hirogen's won't transform the whole ship into a holodeck and simulate WW2.
Btw, the Capt. allowed me to stay onboard and wished me luck. I think he's a good man also he seemed a little bit confused. He spoke something about their ensign Sam_The_Man beeing eaten by a Pokemon. If this is true, than I'm gonna apply for the Ensign Post, cause that's what I did on the Arabella.
The EMH is pumping sort of drugs into me to minimize the pain. However, I can't feel my legs anymore because of these. That's horrible. I preferred when they were hurting, cos at least I knew they were still there.

End Log

If only there was a nice looking Holonurse here. This EMH gets on my nerves. If the nurse was real, it would be even better. I studied the crew members. Unfortunately, there's no girl here.

10th Aug 2000, 06:49 AM
commanders log @2&.,i*

Well, we finally have our captain back with us. Although he was been held hostage by a Hirogen, he did not come to any harm. Good news as I would nnot have been able to command this ship as he would. RizMan is now safe aboard the Eternaty (I will still call it this even though that traitor SamTheMan repainted the outside of the ship). We have managed to salvage some of the remains of the Arabella (?) and they are cuurently being examined so we can gather data about whatever species attacked it. RizMan has complained that there are no woman among the crew and this is something I have only just begun to notice now that most of the problems we had were solved. We should be able to find some "skilled" women to join our crew on Casperia Prime.

Hmm, it appears that my logbook is making blowing noises every time I type something. Wonder what it's up to.

10th Aug 2000, 09:19 AM
Power on......................................[OK]

<S-Unit3000 Log>
I am.
</S-Unit3000 Log>

10th Aug 2000, 09:27 AM
Our Captain is back after being a hostage of the wavy air guy. But we still miss our science officer Skumboy!

Ensign RizMan recovers holosickbay, altough was worried being treated by a EMH. That's only because he doesn't know the methods of Soctor OShadowO. (personal note: I hope I'll never get sick or injured on this ship)

RizMan wanted the post of the Ensign. That's OK when the Captain agrees. I must tell RizMan not to confuse his rank with the position (helmsman perhaps). I also must talk to the Captain about Ensign TA's promotion.

It seems that Sam_the_man thought I gave him the order to repaint our ship. That's a lie. I will go to him and tell him s.th. about the chain of command. These kids today!
Fresh from the Acadeamy and they don't know jack how the things are handeled on a starship! If I'm finished with him he will say "Sir yes Sir, at once Sir" to all my orders.

As i heared that he wants to rename our ship and I already sais that it is a silly idaea i did this. When he was busy with some pokemons (I wonder for what they are) I switched his paint with one that is not spacedust proof. So if come into a nebula or fly at high warp, the paint will vanish and the Eternaty has her old name!

I still take suggestion for a motto for our fine ship!

10th Aug 2000, 09:35 AM
motto suggestion:
Fastest piece of junk in the universe
mmmm pizzas are good...

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
10th Aug 2000, 09:44 AM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Ahh I have gained a new trophy!. Seems to be a peezza trainer. I shall be held in the highest regards in the armada with the capture of this magnificent trophy.

Hmm, I noticed the captain finally came out of his quarters. Odd how paranoid he and the rest of the crew are starting to get, more to my advantage I suppose.

I found where they are keeping their weapons.

&^%$%, they have those accursed AOL disks. I shall...wait.

These only have 300 hours of time on them. HAH. It will take more time than that to take down a hunter of the third triad. Ahh let them think that will save them for now.

Upon scanning the weapons locker, I headed back down into engineering. Seems rather quiet down here for an engineering bay. I find a nice hidey-hole for now, so I can observe for a bit longer.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

10th Aug 2000, 10:10 AM
commander's log :p

Now that we are finally on our way to that paradise planet, I've decided to take one last try at looking for that damn hunter that's still lurking around the ship. I am currently searching through the strangely deserted engineering department. I was sure I saw someone climb into the currently offline warp core and from his attire it is clearly our hunter friend. Well, he won't be so alive if I go over here and reactivate the warp core. I ahve my Gengar ready just in case he reappears.

Wish me luck.

end log.

10th Aug 2000, 12:30 PM
I have just informed the captain that I am resigning froim the ship. I am getting to old for space travel and I shall make myself a living on the paradise planet we are approaching.

10th Aug 2000, 01:11 PM
RizMan's Log, stardate 56598.6

I'm feeling better every day now. I asked Commander Vortex is there wasn't any real doctor onboard, but he told me that his methods were slightly unusual.
I stated in a earlier log that I wanted to apply for the ensign post, well that was sort of bull****. I'm already ensign. I think this was because of the shock I suffered from. Confused me a little bit
Ship's TO 8-4-7-2 proposed me a job as the ship's helmsman. He's gonna talk to the Capt. about that, but I'd be pleased to accept this post. I used to be helmsman on the Arabella until Tom Laris, came onboard of the ship. He was said to be one of the best pilots Starfleet ever had and he was. He became first helmsman. I was assigned to another station, but I learned a lot from him.
I hope that I'll be totally recovered when we arrive on this paradise planet.

End Log

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
10th Aug 2000, 01:49 PM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Damn I was seen. There is a prey below me with a dreaded Gengar or the 8th dimension. Damn one of the worse thing to...

Wait, what is he doing? He is heading for a console.

Umm, it is starting to get warm. FELTERCARB! he is starting the tube up and there is a damn gengar below.

Ahh, I shall use the all-blinding moon-technique. I shall drop out of the tube and moon both the Gengar and this prey.

Good. Now that they have been thoroughly blinded, I shall run back to the medical area. i should be able to find a hiding spot there.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak signing off.

10th Aug 2000, 02:43 PM
There are rumors on the ship that Chief Engineer MoyDoy wants to leave us once we reached Casperia Prime.
I wonder why! He was always motivated and reliable. Maybe the pokemon stress was too much for him.
If this prooves to be true we will throw the biggest good bye party the galaxy has ever seen on the planet for him.
I'll never forget our tim on Xuarta where we were caught by canadians, and I think everone will agree with me that nobody of us were alive today without MoyDoy.

If he leaves us we need a new Chief Engineer. Perhaps Ensign TA wants this job. I'll ask him. But as in every personell decision Captain Cascade has the last word.

[memo to the Captain]

You must find a new man for the Engineering post when MoyDoy leaves. I suggest Ensign TA, although he already showed interest for Communications Officer.

I also recommend Ensign TA for a promotion to Lieutenant Junior Grade, because of his heroic effort to kill the pokemons with Gorgonzola.

Perhaps we need a new Science Officer as noone has seen Skumboy in the last days

We still don't have a cook!

[computer: end memo]

Temporary Account
10th Aug 2000, 03:14 PM
Rumors have been floating around the CE Moydoy will be leaving us. Although I don't know him very well, I will be saddened by the loss of some who is, by all accounts, an excellent Engineer. The Captain still hasn't givin me a confirmation on my promotion to Liutenant, Junior Grade, but I'm sure he's busy. I've also been informed that with the leaving of Moydoy, the position of Engineer will be open. Although I had initally aspired for a Communications position, this was mainly due to the fact that it was as close to Engineering as I could get and still have some control over my actions. And Engineering position would be great! I hope the Captain takes the reccomendations seriously.

<End of Log>

The Dopefish
10th Aug 2000, 03:43 PM
-The Dopefish is starting to ph33r that no one here does anything for entertainment...i.e. the Holodeck. :( ;)

10th Aug 2000, 10:17 PM
Medical ...Aww Screw it
Shaman's Log
Stardate: The year of the one balled monkey 5
My Pokemon breeding experiments have failed. I cannot conjure another Ra and the Pizza's would be parents ate each other for lunch and then dinner too. Things don't seem to be going well for me. I think the crew is suspicious of me. I haven't had a house call in a while. Or maybe I'm just that good. However I must be on guard. IF things get really bad I will have no choice but to become....*takes a deep breath* THE OnE!
Lately I have taken to cleaning out the dead pokemon from my failed breeding experiments and dumping their bodies out into the great void...err space..why am I talking like that?I must ask the warrior chie....eeeee ...I mean the security officer to locate and destroy the Pizza pokemon I fear the mutation may cause him to grow into something hedious, worse then anything imaginable. Into a terrible terrible being.*shudder* I think I'll go and pray to the gods of metal decks...WFT am I saying...go and enjoy myself in the holodeck. I think I need the rest. And If I run into a Hirogen Hunter on the way I'll probably ask him to try and defeat the evil Mutant Pizza Pokemonster too. The last Pokemon alive in this ship...that I know of.

11th Aug 2000, 03:26 AM
RizMan's Log, Stardate 57896.3

The EMH allowed me to leave sickbay, though I have to visit him every day until further notice.
Nevertheless, I'm ready to do my job as a helmsman. I'm looking forward to push this baby to her limits.
The first thing I did when I left sickbay, was looking for the captain, however, he seems to have disappeared, cause noone has seen him during the last few days. I hope the hirogen hasn't captured him again. I wanted to report that I'm ready for duty.
Rumours says that there is one last pokemon left, a mutant pizza pokemon. I hope that I don't run into him. I hate these little critters.
Suddenly, I saw from far away some sort of a pizza climbing into a Jeffrey's tube. The direction it headed for was clearly into engineering. I'd have followed the monster, but I don't know how strong it is, so it is to risky to go for it alone. I'd better have to inform SecurityChief.
*Communicator Beep*: "Ensign RizMan to SecurityChief (note: don't know who that is, do we have one?) Reporting an intruder alert in deck7 section 23, heading for engineering through the Jeffrey's Tube. Please send backup"
I hope someone's coming, else I'm going to have to follow the monster alone and destroy it in a heroic act.

End Log

11th Aug 2000, 03:50 AM
i looked out the window and saw that we are in my home regions (galaxy XXX). And i thought that we could make a pit stop at my home planet (GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS). And get some supplies.

I think that most of the crew will like it because the entire galaxy is X rated. With nude super models allover the place.

But they can get hostile and they dont hesitate to kill everything that moves, so sometimes entire wars can break out becuse of a little nudge.
i just hope that we wont be entering a fight or make one...

over n' out

Temporary Account
11th Aug 2000, 04:26 AM
I've spent the day tooling around in Engineering, getting myself aquainted with the layout of the place. If it's to be my new home, as I hope, I figured it would be a good idea. We seem to have an ample supply of Nihilistic Crystals, and the Main Drive seems to be running decently. There are still a large number of shipwide systems that are in bad need of repair due to the PokeMutant problem in the rear sections of the ship. I'll have to make note to get that work underway as soon as possible.

There also still appears to be some monkey feces in a few places, especially near Jeffrys Tubes 3, 7 and 8. I'll need to determine the source of that. In the mean time I'm attempting to clean it all out. It's tedious work but som...what was that...I thought I heard someth...

<Error - Log Closed due to Timeout>

11th Aug 2000, 05:30 AM
I just wanted to dress down Sam_The_Man for disobeying my orders when I heared somone saying that he was eaten by one of Doctor Shadow's pokemons. I'll seek confirmation for this! If I think about it - eaten by a pokemon - what a horrible death. But I won't miss him.


Last night I further thought about a motto for the Eternaty.
My favorites are:

"All I ask is a tall ship and a load of crazy people to fill her with"

"Give me pizza or give me death"

and also henke's "The fastest piece of junk in the universe"

I will talk to the senior crew about it.

[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on 08-11-2000 at 06:07 AM]

11th Aug 2000, 07:22 AM
commander's log don't know, can't see a thing

Damn it, that hunter is smarter than I thought. I nearly had him fried in the warp core when he leapt out and paralysed us with some kind of all powerful attack. Whatever, it was, I must try and teach it to my Gengar. Still, I now stumble blindy in the general direction of the holodeck where the holographic doctor is residing. hopefully he can restore my vision back to normal. Hold on, I just heard something. A lot of security guards just ran past me. And a giant pizza. Hmm, interesting. Does nothing normal ever happen on this ship?

11th Aug 2000, 10:31 AM
RizMan's Log, stardate 49876.6

Security arrived to track the pizza pokemon. At least I think they went for that. They ran past me w/o noticing me. So I'm gonna left the work to them and headed for the bridge. It actually was the first time I entered the bridge today. Something with this ship is quite weird: there's nobody on the bridge. perhpas they're all looking for the wavy air guy and the Pizza Pokemon.
Anyway, First thing I did was getting familiar with the helmconsole. Wow, this baby can go up to warp 9.9. Max speed of the Arabelle was warp 7.15 That rocks.
I'm looking forward to reach Casperia Prime. I'd like to increase speed to get there earlier, but unfortunately, the captains not here, so I can't do that. Gotta wait for his orders.
At actual speed, we're gonna reach Casperia in 2 days.

End Log

11th Aug 2000, 10:48 AM
I heard that Ensign RizMan wants to increase our speed. I quickly rushed up to the bridge tpo prevent the worst. No ship in universe can fly warp 10. That's the infinite speed or the Threshold. If could overcome it we would probably turn into salamander like creatures as our evolution will accelerate (Note: see Voyager: The Threshold). I also regret that we can uphold warp 9.9 no longer than 18 hours as we must conduct all auxililary and emergency energy to the warp drive and the structural integrity alrady suffers from this speed.
I think the Ensign had good intention, but just dosn't know how dangerous such high speeds are!

I'm glad to hear that to mutant pizza is currently chased and that we'll reach Casperia Prime in 2 or 3 days. I heard that the Captain said will stay for over 2 weeks there. Man, we will have a great time on this planet.

11th Aug 2000, 11:58 AM
Communication Officer's Log Supplemental, Stardate 666

I was on my way to the airlock when I lost conciousness. When I woke up I found that I had been under a trance, and that my actions were out of control. Rather than following my plan I seemed to be being manipulated by others through their logs. From the other crewmen's logs I have discovered it appears I took paint outside, as opposed to my plan, and have been eaten by a Pokemon, also as opposed to my plan. This might explain why I seem to be in a very cramped, dark space. I still have an energy cutting torch from what I actually planned to do out in space, so I will use it to attempt to cut my way out of the Pokemon's stomach. However it seems to be using its 'Harden' attack, by using stale, hard pizza crusts to shield it's stomach walls, so it shall take a while. All I have to survive on is a Gameboy with the new Pokemon game, 'Pokemon Curious Shade Of Pinky-Russet, Tinged with Flecks Of Mauve And With Vomit-Coloured Stripes', and digested pizza, while the torch cuts through the stomach. I do not know whether I can survive without Unreal Tournament for that long.

11th Aug 2000, 05:53 PM
Someone needs to lock this MF'er. :O

12th Aug 2000, 07:01 AM
Captains log star date the second star to the right and strait on till morning.

i have been informed that we wioll arive on the fun planet in about 1 or 2 days! i cant wait to get there.

all problems r bgeing delth with so i can relax on the holodeck.
i have visited the dopefish as i have promised and we had a great time hunting down pokemoon on his pokemon hnting program!

i know that my crew will do fine when i'm absent.

i have been informed that my ce has resigned from this ship, i regret this desicion but i respectn it.

i have agreed to give ensine TA the rank of luitenant, junior grade. al;so i have given him the possition as ships engineer.
he seem very happy with his apointment.

as for ensine Rizman i have desided that he weill be a great helmsman and i think i will promote him to luitanat junior grade to.
i will need to cunsult this with my commander and and to, but i think it will be fine.

as for the violent pizza pokemon i think that i will order the crew to leave the pokemon at a deserted planet sov that the traitor sam the man (may he still be alive in the stumage of the creature) will not be able to betrai this ship again!

CaSCaDe out


i am happy to report we did not recieve any word from thee q like being yellow 5.
it would be desatres if he would be able to get onboard this ship and release his power.

CaSCaDe out

12th Aug 2000, 07:14 AM
This stupid Sam_The_Man must be the most annoying person I've ever met. This kid thinks he's Communications Officer. I told him about the chain of command and he still doesn't get it.Nonone ever gave him this rank! :mad: He's nothing. TA was our Com Officer. I agree with the Captain that we leave him one some godforsaken ball of rock and ice where he will die a cruel death.

I'm glad to hear that Captain Cascade followed my suggestion to promote Ensign TA and make him Chief Engineer. I think we don't yet need a Communications Officer, but if we get new people, they can have this position.

The Captain also wants to promote Ensign RizMan to Lieutenant Junior Grade. He's a fine hemlsman and flys the ship very well, although he sometimes drives to fast!

I must still talk to the Captain about our missing Science Officer Lt: Cmd. Skumboy. I fear he was severly injured or even killed during the pokemon troubles!

12th Aug 2000, 02:38 PM
Medical Officers Log
Satrdate Year of the yellow one nippled monkey
Not much to report. My ancient enemy MoyDoy has resigned and apperently left the ship mysteriously. One would think he would have waited till we got to casperia prime but nooo.
I have lately found myself in a midlife crisis. I keep substituting the star date for shaman like years. I also keep using wierd shaman terms instead of modern day medical terms. I don't know whats wrong with me. Maybe schitzophrenia. Hopefully this trip to casperia prime will cure me. May the gods of the red coloured clay like earth that is not really clay be with us.*ack* I did it again!!

12th Aug 2000, 02:57 PM
commander's log 54874548597.9

Well, the doctor managed to restore my sight, but I think it will now be safer if I decide not to chase this hunter any more. Perhaps he will jump ship when we reach Casperia Prime. I heard from security that they were able to kill one of the mutant pizza pokemon but an other pizza appeared and evolved into a huge loaf of mouldy bread before they could act. Half of the security team were dissolved by a powerful spray of mould that came from the pokemon while the rest escaped thankfully. The bread is now making it's way to the bridge. It must be stopped before it calls for an army of breadloafes (sp?) to wipe us out.

end log.

13th Aug 2000, 08:36 AM
Ensign RizMan's Log, stardate 56978

This morning, we entered orbit of Casperia Prime. I just informed the captain about that. I hope he'll give us permission to beam down soon. We will probably stay there for 2 weeks to recover from all the events which happened during the last few days.
The commander made me understand that I'm not to increase speed w/o permission cause this piece of chunk has still lots of structural integrity problems. I will follow this order, but it could have been funny to push this baby. I heard that the capt. want to promote me to Lt. Junior Grade. That would be great. It's an honor to serve onthis fine ship with this fine crew.

I was told that the pokemon monster is heading for the bridge. I hope security will catch it before it arrives there, because I don't want to be eaten.

End Log

13th Aug 2000, 09:03 AM
Tactaical Officer's log: The year of the yellow one nippled monkey, on the day of the blue turtle, in the hour of the wolf

What the heck did I just say? I had a terrible night. This morning I caught me doing some ancient shaman ghost raising ritual. When I woke out of my trance I found my old pet I had as child sitting opposite to me: a green spoted Tellurian monkey. But he died 20 years ago! Then he suddenly flew through the wall and disappeared. I fear he's now moving free on the ship. I alarmed security about this.
As I said this shaman stardate, I wonder if our Doctor has injected something into the air ventilation system. I heard somone say that he's on a shaman trip, and that he has a lot of unmarked containers in sickbay.
Strange things happen on this ship.

Ensign and soon-to-be-Lieutenant RizMan informed me that we our now in a standard orbit over Caspria Prime. So I slipped into my bermuda shorts and a hawaii shirt, and went to the bridge. Ensign RizMan said that he wants to push the Eternaty to is limits. Well, warp 9.5 is the limit. Any other ship would vaporize at lower speeds!

Wait. I can hear the turbo lift. Who can this be? I fear its the pizza bread pokemon! The doors open........NO.........Ensign take your phaser................

[log interrupted]

13th Aug 2000, 09:26 AM
commander's log k13n8h485h:

Damn it, I couldn't get too sleep either. By the sounds of it, some cult were performing some ritual in the corridor. Then a strange monkey like creature came running through the walls of my quarters and then disappeared through the floor. Things are getting really wierd. So I've decided I'm going to get out of here as soon as possible. So I'm taking a shuttle to Casperia right now. I shall meet the rest of the crew when they arrive there in the morning. Now I just hope I can make my way to the shuttle bay without incident.

13th Aug 2000, 03:07 PM
Manual Nurtition Producer Edit Status Operator's log, Stardate Forgot

I seem to be making progress through the pizza pokemon's stomach wall. However it appears I must act fast. From the muffles sounds outside it appears the pizza pokemon is to be left on a deserted planet and me with it, as a punishment for my attempted sabotage and apparently wrongly calling myself Communication's Officer. I am sure I was allowed to choose this position, but to avoid (well... minimize) anger I have changed my title to Manual Nutrition Producer Edit Status Operator, which basically translates as they guy who switches the food replicators on and off, a useless job since they are always on. I hope the captain will accept this title during my seemingly fast running out time on this ship.

As for the attempted sabotage, well... a guys got to have a reason for living hasn't he?

I have turned the energy torch up to full strength. It may have unexpected consequences but I have beaten Pokemon Curious Shade Of Pinky-Russet, Tinged with Flecks Of Mauve And With Vomit-Coloured Stripes a million times only using a Metapod and am getting bored very fast.

13th Aug 2000, 05:12 PM
Ensign RizMan's Log, I don't know

TO joined me on the bridge shortly after my last log. He wanted to congratulate for my new rank, which I haven't got officially yet, but the captain is thinking about giving me the rank of Lt. Junior Grade.
Suddenly, while we were chatting, the TurboLift opened and a horrible monster came out of it. I can hardly believe I'm still alive. After seeing this thing, I though it would be TO's and my last hour. The monster shoot some sort of green slime towards us which exploded after a few moments. It filled the whole bridge with the slimey thing. We were both standing together in a corner of the bridge, unable to do anything. Phasers were useless against this thing. It didn't eve seem to notice them.
Then, suddenly, the creature started to yell the hell out of it. We heard a sound of some sort of energy torch coming from the inside of it. Shortly after that, the monster's whomb seemed being opened from the inside and a human hand came out of it. The monster fell on the ground, still yelling and shrieking.
Then, it went quiet. We approched it and it seemed that the thing was dead. From the whomb, we heard a muffling Help sound. TO took the hand and pulled someone out of the monster's whomb. It was the long vanished SamTheMan. This traitor had saved our lives. I won't forget that althought he had tried to sabotage the ship. Thank you SamTheMan.

I hope this will be the end of the Pokemon thread.
Anyway, as we have arrived Casperia Prime earlier this morning, we are going to have a great party. I'll head to my quarter, replicate some clothes and then join the others on the planet.

End Log

Temporary Account
13th Aug 2000, 08:26 PM
Well, Engineering is mostly cleared up, vital systems have been restored, and I've begun work on repairing the non-vital systems that are still non-functional: the Frozen Yogurt Machine on deck 12, Turbolifts 6-16, Holodeck 7 which seems to be stuck in an endless loop of a reinactment of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and some small glitches in Navigation and Sensors.

But fortunately, these can all wait, as we've arrived on Casperia Prime! It's been far too long since I've seen a woman, and I'm anxious to get down to the surface. The commander has gone ahead to make sure that we have safe lodging. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew seems to be suffering from "shore leave fever." Guess I'd better get packing!

<End of Log>

14th Aug 2000, 05:32 AM
Maybe someone authorized should decide this

i went up to the bridge in the middle of the night to have a look around and see how things were doing up there (since i was full of pizza and Petrol i needed a walk). So anyhow i looked ant some monitors and the big screen and saw a big red flashing light and about 30 or 40 galaxy destroyers that were about to invade something. And us compared to them we look like a squaking iron with a blender for an engie. They contacted us but since i havent learned Zonitopian language to 100% (i have learned about 35%), the conversation was a big flop and they seemed to get hostile, or they wanted to borrow our rubber duck. i mostly think that they want trouble. But we are just a cargo/battleship and need very much time to get things in order because everyone is sleeping, and the Galaxy destroyers are fully operational and ready for battle...

so someone, preferably the capitan DO SOMETHING

14th Aug 2000, 07:59 AM
My ship, the USS Panzer Blade, on its way to Casperia Prime has picked up a distress signal from a nearby Federation vesal the USS Eternaty.

It appears that they have run into some trouble with a Zonitopian fleet. We are going to warp 9 and should arrive in at least 20 minutes.

I have hailed the Eternaty to inform them that we are on our way but no reply has been recieved yet. I hope we make it in time.

End log.

14th Aug 2000, 08:37 AM
Hmm, although I got to the surface of the planet to escape the strange going ons aboard the Eternaty I have not heard from the rest of the crew or seen them beam down. I hope nothing bad has happened, although it wouldn't surprise me. Also, this part of Casperia seems quieter than usual. Maybe they got scared of when I crash landed in the middle of that lake. Although there other things I'd rather be doing, I feel it is my duty to try and establish contact with the captain once again.

Does nothing ever go right for us?

14th Aug 2000, 09:27 AM
the last few days have been very relaxing for me and the crew (expet for the few people that have staid behind to run the ship)


this is the good life!


what is that?

oh wait its my com badge.

DAmn! the ship is hailing me!

what do i hear we r under attack!

FIRE AT WILL!!!!!!!!!
FIRE AT WILL!!!!!!!!!
>red alert set stardate 53232243,543
>captain log interup
>end of log due to power falure

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
14th Aug 2000, 09:39 AM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Hmm. After a boring last few days, I have finished cleaning the little beings from the ship. They seem to be more harmful than anything to my continued hunting. Not to mention that the like to %^&$* anywhere they please, which makes footing, especially in the airducts, difficult at best.

Hmm I hear some sort of siren. I used the ductwork to get up to the bridge. Damn couldn't they have made this damn duct bigger.

Hmm Zonitopians. This is great. Soon they shall be beaming in and taking over the ship with their monotone voice/nerve nullifiers as well as...

Wait..If they do this...%^&*....I can't let them. I shall start combing the ship for signs of the Zonitopians landing parties and dispatching them. Hopefully the crew won;t blow my head off in the process, but i suppose I can always grow a new one.

These munkeys better understand what I am doing for them.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

14th Aug 2000, 09:50 AM
Lt. Junior Grade RizMan's Log, stardate: the day the whatever they are called attacked the USS Eternaty

While I just wanted to beam down to the surface of Casperia Prime, the captain beamed up, ordering everybody to battle station. So, I ran back to the bridge and sat down at my console, staring at the fleet of (acording to sensors) 34 ships. I don't know what the captains gonna do, but he ordered to fire at will, although I'm convinced that this is not a good idea, faccing the huge armada we're facing. However, as a Lt. Junior Grade I'm not allowed to question the captain's order. I hope our henke will be powerful enough, but he have to wait for TO. He's the one in charge of the ships weapons. Facing this armada, I would recommend using the Dicard Maneuver, perhaps it's gonna work. However, it's best to retreat IMHO/ However, as I already stated, I'm not gonna question the captains orders and I'm gonna wait for his orders.
It's no up to TO to fire at these bastards. I can't do anything else then try to avoid the ennemy fire, if they reply it, cause until now, they didn't open fire.

End Log

14th Aug 2000, 10:00 AM
thi....s cap...n C.....De

m....ogs.. r.... a little dist....pt due to the surve....r p.......w los...

(humming noize)

Ah thats better!

good job engeneering.

as i beamed up to my ship and runned to the brige i gave the order to fire cuse the idiot henke gave me the message we were attackt!

i will have to speak with him about that!
(it might also be a misstake at my end)

good thing that when i arrived at the brige no shots where fired. i immidiatly saw that we were not under attack yet and with thte armada infrond of us we would not stand a change ne way.

i have ordered my communication officer that he should try to find out what these hailings r the r sending to us!

o wait i for got we dont have a com officer yet.
now i need to give our cyborg cannon ball the duty to try and learn the language and ajust our unibversal translators to communicate with them!


CaSCaDe out.

14th Aug 2000, 10:03 AM
i could strap up both the emp and the Nitro pack and blow some of the Zonitopians into the next world. but it would proabably leave a few maybe 15, 20 ships intact. And i would need all the pikachus we have on the ship, and all the warheads we got.
but it wont be enough to take them all out, but i will be a hell of a bang.

Maybe we could call for some backup from somewhere?

but ill get ready and wait in the launce tube...just dont forget to pick me up this time.

over n out

14th Aug 2000, 10:54 AM
Manual Nutrition... Oper... no Status... aah forget it, Menial Worker's Log Stardate Krogposkjduiohfsygewfyus

How convenient, the log is corrupted just on the stardate.

Anyway, on emerging from the pizza pokemon I found that I had saved TO's and Rizman's lives, and it looks like I shall be accepted back into the crew. It almost makes up for coming out covered in pizza and Rizman running all the words in my name together in his log as if I am something TryingToBeCoolByNotUsingSpacesInMyNameButFailing.

Unfortunately it looks as if we are about to face certain death from a huge battlefleet. And what a coincidence, just I back down and remove Communications Officer from my title we need one to negotiate. Well, I'm not going to do it. No, I have my pride. Oh wait, no-one's asking me to. Well, I'd better get back to waiting for the order to switch the food replicators off to conserve power. Man this is boring. I didn't think anything could be more boring than being stuck with Pokemon A Curious Shade Of Pinky-Russet, Tinged With Mauve And Vomit-Coloured Stripes, but PACSOPR, TWMAV-CS looks like Unreal Tournament compared with this job. Maybe if I perform well during the almost-certainly-upcoming battle I can get promoted to switching the holodeck on and off as well. From there it is only about a million steps up the ladder to Captain, and THEN Eternaty will be spelt with an 'i'! But looking at our agressors through the viewscreen, it looks like I shall have to do this pretty quickly.

14th Aug 2000, 11:25 AM
Tactical Officer's log Stardate 58945.5

Damn, just when I wanted to beam down to the surface we must be attacked by an armada of a race of which I forgot the name. I made some close range scans with the tactical sensors. They revealed some strange neutrino signatures. It seems that this armada isn't as poweful as we thought 25 of the 34 ships are holographic projections, created the distract us. As we now deal with only.... eh....9 ships and the Captain ordered us to fire at will, I decided to follow Lt. RizMan's idea of using the famous Picard manoeuver! The idea is this: We fire and intantly jump on warp 1 for a split second. The enemy ship will fire at our last position. Then we jump out of warp and open fire!
Nothing helps in this maneuver. And as we predict we were able to destroy 2 enemy ships before we took the first hits of torpedos. One of them hit the secondary energy dispatching system and a plasma line diectly behind the com console exploded. To our shock our loved Sam_The_Man stand there and was imedately killed when he was doing his best to help us. We will all miss him!

Damn, sh!t, the what-ever-the-are-called are stronger than I thought. Lt. RizMan: perepare henke for launch and fire when ready.
What's this........another Starfleet ship: USS Pannzer Blade NCC-56203. They will help us...........fire..........

14th Aug 2000, 12:12 PM
Ship janitor Morety goes in to clean the bathroom and finds the captain's log.

14th Aug 2000, 12:21 PM
We have just dropped out of warp and have commenced all out fire on the enemy fleet. Luckly we made it in time to backup the Eternaty before they managed to over power it.

Wot the, where the f00k did they come from ...........

[log interupted]


[Ship anouncment from Captain Neo Skinz]

We have been taken by suprise by what seems to be the other half of the enemy fleet. They where lying in wait using cloaking devices and took us from behind when we started our attack. (Damn llamas!)

Although we have destroyed the bulk of their forces, because of the heavy damage sustained in the attack I am ordering a complete evacuation of the ship, all personnel report to the escape transports and beam down to the surface of Casperia Prime. The emergency escape pods wont make it out of the blast radious in time so dont use them.

I will be setting the auto distruct in T minus 5 mins, I have requested that the Eternaty lures the other half of the enemy in proximity of the blast area and then warp out before she blows...those bastards are gonna fry with us. :mad:

[End of ship announcment]

14th Aug 2000, 03:28 PM
Damn comm systems. I have been unable to communicate with the Etarnaty for a long time now. Before I crashed here, i detected a fleet of ships closing on the Eternaty with their weapons charged. I just hope that the ship has not been destroyed in battle. Nevertheless, the crew have proved themselves brave in the face of many dangers, so I am certain they will pull through. I can only continue to attempt to communicate with the captain.

Hold on, a large group of people have just beamed down not far from my position. They are not from the Eternaty but I'm getting lonely so I am going to greet them anyway. Hopefully they can give me some good news about the Eternaty.

14th Aug 2000, 03:36 PM
Well the battle is over and I am happy to be in one peice. But alas my ship has been completely desimated (is that a word?).

As predicted the Eternaty lead enemy the fleet into the blast radious of the Panzer Blades auto destruct completely destroying the entire fleet...HA, NEVER LOST A BATTLE! Lost plenty of ships though, something to work on I guess. :p
The Eternaty thankfully managed to warp out not a minute too soon before the auto destruct commenced, just practicaly scorching the tail end of her causing little or no damage.

Sad news to report. My No.1, Lt. Commander Jennyway, was lost in the emergency transport being the last one of the ship (she had to make sure everyone of off first). I was sure she was right behind me but the transport must have been disrupted by the explosion of the Panzer. Either her particals where scrambled up into the nothingness of space or she has been bounced to another location on Casperia Prime away from the transport site. Its a known fact that such a transport failure can cause amnesia, so if she is alive it is imperative that we locate her quickly as her condition could be dire.

Most of my crew will be picked up by Star Fleet and reasigned within a few days. But I doubt Star Fleet will let me have another ship of my own for some time now so at the moment I'm waiting to see if the Eternaty will take me on as a Lt. Commander. Hopfully I can help with tactics and stratigic manuvours etc.
I've sent my request to CaScaD and hope that he will grant it.

Oh yeah and I need a new comp, this pen and paper thing sux ass! :mad:

Dammit, now my pen is running ou~

[Edited by [PuF]Neo_Skinz on 08-15-2000 at 04:09 PM]

14th Aug 2000, 03:56 PM
Again we used henke and again he created havoc. Using his EMP blast he diabled 5 ships which we then destroyed with one shot. The USS Panzer Blade however was destroyed. But before I gave the order to fly in her vicinity and the jump on high warp. The enemy ships of the race I still don't know the name of, followed us and were completely wiped out! After this we flew back to Casperia Prime and salvaged henke. The repairs are underway, but the losses on both sides were high! We destroyed 25 enemy ships with about 10000 people on board. The USS Panzer Blade was lost to auto destruction,but all its crewmembers were safly beamed to the planet.On the Eternaty we lost Sam_The_Man.
I was glad to see how well our fine ship prooved in combat. She brought honor to her name: Build to last forever.

The Captain Neo_Skinz of the USS Panzer Blade will join our crew and serve as Lieutenenant Commander. We must still find a adequat position for him. As our Science Officer Skumboy is mysterously lost, that would be a possible position. I'll ask him what he likes. We also need a Communictaion Officer and a cook!

With the latest troubles over, I hope I can now finally relax on Casperia Prime. I set the ship to autopilot and checked in into a 6-star hotel named Kampana Inn Resort. I'm sure I will see the rest of the crew there soon.

[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on 08-15-2000 at 08:00 AM]

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
14th Aug 2000, 04:29 PM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

Well, I have scoured the ship. No sign of the zonitopians anywhere. Rather odd for them.

%^&* - Damn the ship took a hit. I saw several members of the crew running around screaming about hull breaches and stock-on replicators.

I managed to make my way down to engineering. It is way to quiet, almost eerie. Where is the engineering crew? And the chief....wait..*sniff*sniff*


Hmm, how odd....


Damn, guess I better try shielding the other munkeys for a bit.

I have installed a local forcefield by the entrance/exit of the engineering section. They shouldn't be able to beam in now.

Now the hunt truly begins. Let's hope the unconscious munkeys stay that way until I am done.

The zonitopians should make excellent trophies.

Now the hunt in engineering begins.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

14th Aug 2000, 04:53 PM
Yay, been provided with a new comp, commence the spamming....errr...I mean logging! ;)

I've decided to take up the communications officer position as its the only one left that I can probably do.

Dammit I hate replicated food, I need to get in contact with my old cook from the Panzer Blade, hes probably browsing the vast food markets here on Casperia Prime. (*ahem, thats the cue for a new member of the crew to step in!*)

I've heard that the Eternaty is under heavy repare at the moment, with wot is left of the Panzer Blade being used to make the repairs. Apparently there is a situation in Enginering and they are having difficulty accessing it.

But for now I'm enjoying my surroundings on Casperia Prime, and getting very drunk at that! (Hey the loss of a ship can be a pretty hard thing to get over ya know!). Vortex is with me at the moment aswell, I've been updating him on what has been going on during his absence from the battle.

Still no word from the search party reguarding Jennyway. The search goes on, hope she's is ok. I'm keeping my hopes up that she is still in the land of the living. :(

[Edited by [PuF]Neo_Skinz on 08-15-2000 at 04:11 PM]

14th Aug 2000, 06:10 PM
Kind of lost track of time on this planet, but who wouldn't. It feels good to be actually having a rest. I was relieved to here from Captain Neo (forgotten how to spell the last part, natch) that the battle went well although not without the unfortunate loss of his ship. I do feel guilty that I wasn't there to help during the battle. Still, we must all try and forget our duties for a while. Although I may feel obliged to search for Neo_Skinz (sp?) second in command Jennyway (OT - name sounds like a poster on these forums? :)). Always nice ot do a good deed every once in a while and we REALLY need some female crewmembers amongst us soon!

If not we'll either go mad from sexual frustration or die out, whatevers first. Talking about sexual frustrations, methinks it's time to try out some of this planets more "specialist" attractions. :)

Last minute memo to oneself:

get a new comp. You cannot live without the double spacing the other crewmembers seem to be enjoying.

15th Aug 2000, 03:57 AM
he battle is fought, the enemy has been wiped out!!
finaly we can have a rest!!!!!
he i think i might go here when i retier! (NO NOT YET!!)

the search for the lost commader of captain neo still goes on but in the mean time i take my time off to rwelax for a while and get relieved from the stress of runnign a starship:)

my own crew as far as i know is fine, repares are being conducted while i speak.

due to his bravory in the last battle i have given ex-captain Neo-Skinz the rank of ltd. commander and the position of communication officer as he requested.

well that was it for the formal job stuff, now LETS PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


CaSCaDe out (party noise on the background)

15th Aug 2000, 09:11 AM
I have just left the vorticon repair base where I got a new control console installed in my BMW, after I spilled coffee on the old one. The new one is made by some generic company - M1crosoft I think. Oh well, as long as it gets me to Casperia Prime in time to catch up with the rest of the Panzer Blade fleet.

[Edited by Elrod on 08-15-2000 at 05:59 PM]

15th Aug 2000, 10:49 AM
Well, first off, I've already begun to notice problems with this new console. It seems that this m0crosoft piece of $hit has difficulty getting the Stardate correct. Secondly, those idiot servicemen..er...vorticons at the service station have bOrked my communications systems, because when I tried to contact Captain Neo_Skinz of the USS Panzer Blade fleet, all I got was a message on my console that read 'Illegal Operation', whatever the h3ll that means. I guess I have to choice to continue on this course until I'm within visual range.

[Edited by Elrod on 08-15-2000 at 06:04 PM]

15th Aug 2000, 07:11 PM
Well, I finally got the stardate fixed. Now I'm within visual range of Casperia Prime. However, I see no sign of the USS Panzer Blade...

Hmm, looks like there's been a battle; there's a large quantity of debris floating around out here....

Wait a minute! That piece of debris had the words USS Panzer Blade on it!! I wonder if any of the crew made it to safety?!?

WTF! All of my console screens just turned to a solid blue, with gibberish messages. Damn this m0crosoft peice of ****. Now I've lost control of the ship. Preparing for crash lan.................

[end log]

15th Aug 2000, 11:05 PM
Medical Officers Log
StarDate: 69696969...
Ooops too many sixty nines...but it is casperia prime after all. I have found a new obsession lately. Monkey genetics. I'm trying to breed three headed monkeys on casperia prime. It's amazing nothing is illegal on this planet. Just being here all my inner shamanistic tendancies seemt to have been buried deep within me again. As long as I keep busy I don't think the curse of zipquee qua fil la should affect me. I don't know what that m0's problem was. All I did was sleep with his daughter and dissect his pet oodle-doodle the sinonian poodle. Ahh yes a unique specimen. It had three nipples instead of just two. I think I shall try to find one on casperia prime and gift it to the captain. They aren't very dangerous the worse thing they do is nip you in the buttocks and stick to them like glue till somebody beats the living daylights out of them and gets them off. For some reason the little buggers love hump the feet of Hirogn Hunters. I have my doubts we even have one on board since none of my Pokemon could detect it-alas they had served me well- it shouldn't be a problem therefore and stay tottaly loyal to the captain.
I beamed aboard the Eternaty to store medical supplies-finally bonafide human being medicine with no side effects- and somebody said something about this huge battle. Strange nobody told me. Though I think everybody else missed the wondeful display of fireworks!

15th Aug 2000, 11:18 PM
Somehow, I survived the crash with little more than a few bruises. Can't say as much for my ship, as it is now at the bottom of a lake. I think I see the lights of a city not too far away from here. Hopefully I can make it there on the few rations that I managed to pull from my sinking ship.
I wonder if I might find any of my comrades (sp) from the Panzer fleet there. I'm being optimistic that at least a few of them were able to escape to safety before the destruction of their ship.

16th Aug 2000, 02:54 AM
Lt. Junior Grade RizMan's Log, Stardate: after the battle. To tired to look at my watch

Except of Sam_The_Man, all crewmembers have safely arrived on Casperia Prime. What a relief after the battle against the Zanitopians(sp?). As I had recommended, TO ordered the Picard Maneuver, and I'm really surprised that it worked so well, although we only managed to destroy 2 of the cruisers before being hit.
Fortunately, The USS Panzer Blade came for us, else, we wouldn't have stand a chance against the fleet. In the name of the whole Eternaty crew (I think everybody agrees) Thanks to Capt Noe for sacrifying his fine ship to safe ours.
The Eternaty is still being repaired. I asked Chief Engineer if it is possible to install a so-called Slipstream Engine on the Eternaty (see Voyager, don't know which episode), then we'll be able to fly faster, very much faster. Unforunatley, I even don't know if this engine can be made, as I only heard from it from rumours. Hopefully it can, would be great :), but enough of the business, it's time to party now.


I'm writing this log in my room in the Kampana Resort In, where I checked in. I don't know who else checked in there, but I saw 8-4-7-2. I'm gonna meet with him later and we're gonna get really drunk, and then we're gonna see if we can find any hot chicks to join the crew (or to do other things with, but I'm not gonna give any details ;) )

Temporary Account
16th Aug 2000, 03:46 AM
Oooooh...log wrrrrriting ti....shhhh...I'll beee right back...<giggle> errrr...right!..lohg writing time...thanks..I w-will have another. What is thhhis again? Kep...Kep...Kepoth Brandy? Mmmmmmm...Okok...I'll be there in a second...heeere...put this robe on..no wait!..leave it off..er..ahhh screw it..I'll write the llllog later...here I come!


<End of Log: Timout>

16th Aug 2000, 06:23 AM
Phew! I'm really beginning to enjoy this place now. I might not leave at all! Got his fancy new hands free kit for my log now so I don't even need to carry it around with me now. On this planet,a man has much better things to do than fiddle with his log.

Hmm, using my super sensitive hearing I detected yet another ship crash land in the lake. I could go take a look but I'm afraid I may get drawn into a battle with an alien or something. And I can't be bothered with that right now.

Anyway, I need to head back to my hotel room. All this intense physical activity over the last few days has made me extremely tired.

16th Aug 2000, 07:12 AM
Lt. RizMan met me in my hotel and invited me to get drunk. I couldn't resist, so I accepted. He also suggested that we could install a quantum slipstream drive on the Eternaty. An interesting idea, but somehow I doubt it's possible, because of the highly experimental nature of this technology.
(Note: see episodes "Hope And Fear"and "Timeless".Also mentioned in "Think Tank")

[computer: enable maximum security encryption algorithm Beta Charlie 5]

As I wasn't able to eat real pizza in the last months, I couldn't wait. It was so delicious: bacon, mushrooms, salami, onions........hmmmmmmmm! I would kill for such a pizza!
I immediately ordered 200 of them. It cost me only 5 bars of gold pressed latinum. I stored them on the lowest deck in the last, and most deserted cargobay I found. It doesn't even have a number. That should be the last place where someone looks for pizza. But for all cases I protected the room with a forcefield.
I swear: If anyone touches this pizzas I'll kill him. It will be the last pizza he eats in his life. This I vow by the blood of my life!

16th Aug 2000, 07:35 AM
Helmsman RizMan's log, stardate: something after a night I'll never forget

Well, hmmm, I gotta confess something. I...it's quite embarassing...but I gotta tell someone (well, it's my log, so it's more something. or is the log a person, don't think so). Ok, here it comes. Right here right now...or...I don't know if I should. I have to. OK, I go for it now. I...I made something terrible...I cheated on my girlfriend (note: I'm sure you guys now think I really did, bit I didn't. It's just cause I got to post something cause I got nothing else to do at work. Hope this is clear).
Man, I feel relieved now. Hey, but thinking about it, although it sounds immoral, it was worth it. What a woman. Never got laid that way. Wow. I think I could get used to that. How long are we gonna stay on Casperia Prime. The longer the better :)
I met this girl last night after I went to get drunk with our TO 8-4-7-2. He suddenly disappeared, whispering something about Pizzas (I can't see them anymore) and a forgotten cargobay. I'm wondering what this is all about.
He also told me that the Slipstream technology is still experimental and is probably not possible to being installed on the Ship. At least I now know that it exists. I only heard about it from rumours before.
I also heard something about another ship having crashlanded on the planet. If I were in a normal condition, I would help rescue team, however, I'm still to drunk to care about anybody except of me and my other drunk friends.
I'm wondering if anyone on this planet know how to mix a White Russian. Dude that's a drink.
Whatever, I'm gonna look for this girl...

End Log

16th Aug 2000, 09:00 AM
Seems that the search party that was looking for Lt. commander Jennyway has found a survivor of a nearby crash. Ends up his name is Elrod. I believe he was meant to be stationed on the Neo Panzer but that isnt gonna happen now.
I've instructed him to try and get assigned to the Eternaty. He just needs to inform Cpt. CaSCaDe of what possition he would like to be assigned to.

(Female voice in background) Hey get of that computer and come to bed!
(Another female voice) Yeah, get over here and give us some of that hot lovin you promised!

W00t! Gotta go, business to attend to. ;)

[End Log]

16th Aug 2000, 10:01 AM
After stumbling through the brush and trees for several hours, I was found by a search team looking for Lt. Commander Jennyway of the USS Panzer Blade. I have been informed that she is the only member of the ship not accounted for. I was also told that all this came about when the USS Panzer Blade came to the aid of another ship - the USS Eternaty (Odd name, but I kinda like it), which made it through the battle mostly intact. Apparently the Captain of the USS Eternaty (I don't know his name yet) is taking some of the crewmembers from the USS Panzer Blade as officers on his ship.
Right now, I'm in a medical center getting treated for the various bruses and scrapes I recieved from the crash, and some sort of plant poisoning from my efforts to seek help. Once I get out of here, I'll have to find my good friend Capt Neo_Skins, and have him give me the details of the battle. Maybe he can also put in a good word for me with the captain the the USS Eternaty. I'm pretty proficient with computers; he must have SOMETHING for me.

16th Aug 2000, 10:15 AM
Lt.Cmd. Neo_Skinz informed me that Elrod has finally been found near the crash site of his shuttle. He's currently recovering in a hospital on Casperia. It looks loke he will join our fine crew. But we will have troubles finding an adequat position for him. As personal asisstants must be famale (for cooking coffee, not what you think) he can't do this. We still need a cook. I'll ask the others for suggestions. I'm sure Captain Cascade has an idea about it. If we can't find s.th. for him, we could make him our Science Officer, as Skumboy has mysterously disappeared. But when Lt:Cmd: Skumboy comes back he will not be pleased if someone sits on his chair.

personal log

After I got really drunk last night with Lt: RizMan, I realized that I havn't spent any time with girls here yet. So I'll exlplore the beauties of this planet now.....

[end log]

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
16th Aug 2000, 10:23 AM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

I have cleared the engineering room of the zonitopians and disengaged the force field.

It's eerily quiet around the ship. I guess all the prey have went planet-side.

Feeling safe, I have turned of my cloak field and I am walking around the corridors, peeked into several of the holo-decks and quarters.

Hmm this place is prime for attacks. Hopefully they left some sort of skeleton crew.

Well, I'll keep looking around till something exciting happens.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

16th Aug 2000, 12:14 PM
Well, I'm out of the medical center, and enjoying myself immensely. I've never seen so many hot women in one place before ;). I finally got the chance to speak directly with Captain CaSCaDe of the USS Eternaty about a possible assignment. Somewhere in our conversation, he found out that I can cook. Doh! I guess being a cook wouldn't be that bad - it would at least keep me on the ship until something better comes along. I'll have to request a title other than 'cook' though; maybe something like 'sustenance preparation specialist', or 'nutrition management'. I just hope that the crew can put up with my .. er..*creative* cooking style.
Enough of that, I'm off to the pool to find me some babes....

16th Aug 2000, 02:19 PM
Captain's Log, stardate classified:

My grand escape from the accursed starship "Eternaty" went completely unnoticed, as I had planned. I owe it all to Ono, my shapeshifting partner in crime. He's been able to walk around for weeks on the ship dressed up as a crewmember. Freeing me was a simple task for him (of course his cloaked speedcruiser was of some help as well.) Anyway, now that I've rejoined my army and spent some time in the healpod, I feel ready for action again.

Current scans register only a small amount of living organisms inside the Eternaty, which suggests the crew has either been killed or they've transported to Casperia Prime, being the only planet for lightyears around. But I won't make the classic mistake, so I assume they've gone to CP.

Time to act then. My scientists have told me the construction of my Weapon is as good as complete. They complained they needed time to finish the details, but I can't be bothered with that right now. I've decided to launch It tonight. The Great Missile has not been tested yet, and some of the scientists got rather angry about that. They called me an irresponsible fool....for that, I had them tied to the Weapon. If they want a test, they can have a test!

Only a few more hours and it's goodbye to Casperia Prime and hello to Mr. Black Hole. It really is too bad though, I'd have liked to spend some time on the Paradise Planet.

Dickard out.

16th Aug 2000, 03:11 PM
Dear Diary,

Oh great. Just before we get to Casperia Prime and I can enjoy some vine, vimmin und song after being consecutively eaten, insulted, threatened with exile and finally escaping saving lives in the bargain, I get killed. ****.

When I got to the Pearly Gates, I found St. Peter waiting for me. He looked in a book and said, "Ah. Sam The Man. Hmm... attempted sabotage of the Eternaty, putting 'The End' in a Storytime post, and... wow, you're a naughty boy Sam, playing Pokemon A Curious Shade Of Pinky-Russet, Tinged With Mauve And Vomit-Coloured Stripes, hmm... I have just the place for you."

He stepped onto the floor next to the stariway to Hell, uttered a secret password, to reveal a dectuple-locked safe, covered with bars, welded shut and with a 10-ton weight sitting on it. He melted the welding with holy fire, threw the weight aside as if it was a toy, ripped off the bars, opened the safe, and threw me in. As I fell screaming I saw him replace the bars and stuff over the entrance hurredly, so that nothing could escape from the horror within.

I found myself falling, falling, to a strange yet somehow familiar shape. An asteroid in space, with two tall buildings at either end. As soon as I landed just to the side of one of these buildings, my head fell off. I re-appeared, and my head fell off again. This happened again, and again. Suddenly I realised. I had been condemned to a fate worse than Hell itself... the Llama Farm! A place where the immortal souls of llamas are sent to be llamas for eternity!

Eventually I managed to duck behind one of the buildings before I could be respawn-sniped. I shouted a challenge to the camper up on the opposite building. "PH34r /\/\3, 5700p1d!" the bewildering reply came back, before I was shot again. After getting to safety again, I dug out my Universal Translator and attempted to work this strange language out, but upon feeding the text in, the Universal Translator immediately screamed and ran off. I must find it if I am to communicate with the inhabitants of this accursed place.

Finally I waved my hanky round the corner of the building. This seemed to provoke tremendous excitement from those around me, who had ignored me and each other before. They started to escort me back into the building, safe from the snipers. As soon as I was in safety, one of them fired a rocket at me. Luckily I was only knocked down, and didn't have to go outside again. My agressor then took my hanky and tied it round a nearby flag, then jumped up and down shouting "1 4/\/\ 50 1337! 1 0\/\/n j00r 455!".

Bruised and reapeatedly decapitated as I was, I seem to have been accepted into the order of this building, which seems to be at war with the other. Since they all wear pitch-black clothes, I do not know how they tell each other apart. From what I could gather, they will soon make me into part of their team. I must escape before llama-ism truly traps me down here.

Supplemental: I found my Universal Translator hiding under a load of debris that had been exploded from the roof's building. I am unable to budge it from its hiding place. I must try to coax it out and trap it somehow.

16th Aug 2000, 03:38 PM
Medical Officers Log
Stardate: Umm who cares we're on CP
They found one of the crew from the exploded ship Panzer. Apparently that whole fireworks display I saw was a battle between the eternaty, panzer against a zenotopian horde. A pity we don't have more of those. The fireworks were worth it. Well the crew member Elrod was taken to the hospital. I ofcourse was standing by incase the Casperia Prime Dr.s needed help with dissection but it never came to that. Elrod is up and about, looking forward to his duties as our cook. I did observe the operation tho. I'm surprised what the can do with technology these days. They didn't have to amputate the bruised arms and legs. They gave him some thing called a "Painkiller" and told him to rest a few days. Wow I must make note to find these miracle pills.
Lately I have been hunting for the Sinonian Oodle Doodle Poodle in the deep tropical jungles of Casperia Prime. While there I found a very rare animal. The only time this beast was ever seen before was on earth in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. I believed they dubbed it a "Britaney Spears" I have been trying to track this "Britaney Spears" tho I must be careful as she has a very dangerous weapon, cheesy music. I think I hear something at the foot of the volcanoe, in that steam went ahead. Medical Officer out.

16th Aug 2000, 06:03 PM
Phew, I must have been really tired as I have slept for nearly a day! I decided that I had better get up or I'll sleep the whole vacation away. I had a sudden urge to look under my bed and when I did I found someone must have entered my room during the night. It was a woman so I didn't really mind. She told me how she had been chased some kind of human/weapon hybrid. henke should really stick to his own species or he'll end up vaporising someone. I took this opportunity to ask the woman if she would like to join the crew of the Eternaty. I'll have to consult the Captain first but I'm sure he'll agree :).

Uhoh, here comes henke again. AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHH, he's attacking me! His trusted commander! Security!

(Cue weapon fire)

17th Aug 2000, 05:33 AM
I'm to drunk to remember my rank RizMan's Log, stardate: As I said, I'm to drunk

Well...I don't know how I manage to do this logentry, cause I'm totally f****ed up. I think I gotta stop drinking for a while and focus on things that really matter: chicks. I gotta find an assistance for myself.
Tonight, I saw Vortex entering his room with this chick (he also had to be very, very drunk to take this girl for getting laid). I think he has some very odd sexual practics, cause henke joined them later. That's just disgusting, I mean, with henke.
But suddenly, I heard Vortex screaming for help. Man, where's security, I mean, it's there job to help him.
Well, there's nobody else here except of me, so I think I'm gonna get to go in. Oh man, I just not in a condition to do this. So, I walked -well, it was more like falling- towards the door. I opened it, making a lot of noise, a calling that: "I'm coming to help you Vortex", but before I could step in, I lost balance (I don't know why, perhaps the alcool?) and fell on the floor. I felt really bad. Uhh, I think I'm gonna have to...euuurkkk
I gotta go to the Sickbay I think... I won't try to safe anybody again when I'm drunk.
I don't know what happened after that. Perhaps I felt unconscious or whatever. Can't tell. I just hate Casperia Prime. It's really unhealthy to stay here for a long time. I think, when I recover I'm beaming back to the ship.

End log

Cap'n Beeb
17th Aug 2000, 01:09 PM
It seems I have missed out on multiple pages of starlogs because my damn computer sucks a dead llamas nutsack. I need updates! Where are we? Is the wavy air thing dead or what?

17th Aug 2000, 01:23 PM
It appears that henke had a virus which is why he attacked me but it's all under control. It's good to see taht beerbaron is back amongst the crew although it appears he needs to be updated on things.

Unfortunately I do not have a clue what happened to that wavy air thing so you'll have to ask someone else. Sad news is that one of crewmembers, just after seeing the errors of his ways, died in battle and was condemned to hell for playing the latest instalment of pokemon (dare I say that word). We may be able to save him though. If I can find one of those scary people that can speak to the dead. It will at leats let me know if hell really is an eternity of being spawn sniped by Llamas .

Also beerbarn, if you're wondering what these foreign surroundings are, we have stopped for a holiday on the planet of Casperia Prime. We deserve it after all those battles we had to suffer. Anyway, I need a break now as I'm used to writing these long logs.

Thar T'Pak [=AA=]
17th Aug 2000, 01:59 PM
Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak reporting.

The ship is still dead, although some of the crew has come back. Most look more worn out and sicker than when they left.

I managed to sneak down to the planet surface to restock a few things and get back before my personal pod was noticed.

A while ago, the old captive prey escaped. Noone seemed to notice, which makes me question the validity and intelligence of their security.

I have been walkig the corridors for a few days now, stopping at the eating quarters, various pesonal quarters and even back to the captains quarters..Nope no officers appear to be around.

I even, boldly, walked onto the bridge. Noone even batted an eye.

Hmm. Well, since it is quiet I'll hole myself back up into the captains quarters, eating some more peeza and schplam I have hidden there.

Hunter-Seeker of the Third Triad Thar T'pak out.

17th Aug 2000, 02:18 PM
Finally I found a really hot chick. She is now in my room and waits for some action. So I have not much time!

It seemed that Elrod was not very confident with his possible position as cook. Therefore I took some time and alcohol (This blue Romulan Ale thingy tastes great.I'll take s.th. of it to the ship when we leave) and thought about it:

We could also need a counselor, as you never know when a good advice or some psycho therapy is needed. We might also need am ambassador, if we - what I doubt - ever meet peaceful aliens. And.......eh wait.....that's everything I thought of. Perhaps the other crewmembers have also some advice (Damn. Now I already need a counselor!)

[general protection fault: unkown voice detected] Come on honey, I'm soooooo horny! Please do it................

Ok that's everything! I have other duties to.

Commander Vortex contacted me and said that he would know that Sam_The_Man was sent to the eternal purgatory: The Llama Farm. Well, that's where he belongs and should stay: battle axes, renaming the ship..........

[error, error]
Come baby............

Ok here I come. Computer: end of log

The Dopefish
17th Aug 2000, 02:27 PM
Ouch. I must have bumped a circuit or something because my head still hurts. Something happened a while back, and all of a sudden, *poof!* I'm down for a while. Pork.

17th Aug 2000, 02:31 PM
Medical Officers Log
Stardate: God Damn it NOT NOW!!
I was almost there. I almost had the britaney spears monster trapped whne tragedy struck.
I was called away because a couple of the crew were sick. Rizman apparently had a mild case of muchto-ous drunken alcholnnisitis.
In ohter words he was pissed to put it in the queens' english.( Hmm that's queer where did I pick that up?)
I told him to drink a lot of water and breath plenty of oxygen. Oxygen is very vital to beating this.
Henke had a virus. I had him downlaod McAfee Virus Scan version 09897878.25 from the inter stellar net. It slowed down his sytems
tremendously but we found the virus and it was quashed. Though I think he crashed the first time we ran it but the second time was ok.
Now havig taken care of that back to hunting the Britaney. On the bright side I did capture a sinonian oodle doodle poodle. I have transported it
aboard the ship and will gift it to the captain. I'm so glad that no hirogen hunter exists on our ship or else the mutt would start humping the hunters foot, and
and taking leaks on its boots.
*Excuse the messed up look of this log this computer I'm on is wierd...doesn't change lines automatically!

17th Aug 2000, 02:34 PM
After expressing the fact that I wasn't really interested in being a sustenance preparation specialist, I was told that the ship could also use a shrink errr, psychologist. I think that sounds kind of fun; I enjoy playing with peoples minds [computer: delete that last sentence] Unless something better comes up soon, I think I'll accept that position.

17th Aug 2000, 11:27 PM
Well, I've been wandering around the city aimlessly for several hours now, finding various ways to amuse myself. However, I've come to the realization that it is exceptionally quiet around here. I wonder if there's some big event going on (like a party), and I somehow got left out of the loop? I'll have to investigate this possibility...

18th Aug 2000, 03:26 AM
RizMan's Log, stardate 56978.26

Well, I recovered from my, as the doctor calls it: muchto-ous drunken alcholnnisitis. I still got a headache, but that's nothing compared to what I felt like yesterday.
That means, that I now can focus on what really matters: chicks, hot sexy mamas, wimminz, whatever you want to call them.
I understand that we got a new crewmember, Elrod. However, he doesn't have a position yet. He doesn't want to be a cook, so I suppose we're gonna have to continue eating replicated food for the next days unless I find a chick who can cook and be my personnal assistant :)

[log attribute=public]
While I got drunk with TO 8-4-7-2 during the last days, we collected a few plausible mottos for our fine ship.
[link to log]Here's the link to the log where we stored them (http://forums.planetunreal.com/showthread.php?threadid=22583)[/link to log]
So to all crewmembers, especially the Captain, I would recommend to check them and vote for a motto. I made the log's status public, so you can add an entry to it.

[log attribute=private]
I heard that Henke had a Virus, the reason why he attacked Commander Vortex. Apparently, the doctor cured him, but I don't really trust him. With all the Voodoo stuff he used to do, I can't stop thinking that he wants to dissect us all. So henke would be a great way to do that: he infects henke with a virus, so that henke kills us and then the doctor can dissect us.
Oh man, I'm getting paranoia now. Gotta see a psychologist now, but where can I find that, we don't have one on board, althought Elrod asked to become ship's Psychologist.

But enough now: I here some girlz calling. Sure they're horny and so am I

End Log

18th Aug 2000, 08:37 AM
I finally got a real hot chick. She brought be to my limits and beyond. I'm totally exhausted now. In addition I might have drunken a bit too much Romulan Ale. It tastes awesome, but a got a terrible hangover from it. BRUUUUUUAAAA [error: strange noise detected]. Perhaps i have even this muchto-ous drunken alcholnnisitis our Doctor discovered at Lt. RizMan.
Speaking of him: Our drinking session were nevertheless pretty effective: We invented some cool mottos.

Elrod (I wonder what is rank is) was happy with his position as counselor. I'll recommend him to the Captain for it. This means we still have to stand replicated food. But not very long anymore: I bought a book on the planet: "Interstellar cuisine for beginners". We'll see if it helps s.th. Maybe other crewmembers are also freetime cooks?

I will meet with Lt. RizMan for another night of getting drunk, to think of some new positions on the ship, as we are running out of free and attractive jobs. Romulan Ale helps us with it. We always think a lot better when drunk!

18th Aug 2000, 08:53 AM
Personal Log

I have docked my ship, the S.S.Redeemer, at VerdianIII. I have been hot on the trail of the man who murdered my brother. I have heard rumors of Capt. Dickards involvment with something that has happened here. I will investigate further...

I have heard of a ship named USS Eternaty, captained by none other than Cascade!!! I new a Cascade in the academy I attended until I was booted out for outrageous and speedy driving. I always wanted to pilot those ships past the 10.0 level. I now have a ship that will accomplish this. It seems that Dickard has slipped my grasp yet again. I will investigate further....

It seems that Captian Cascade was the one who blew Dickard out of the stars:) I wonder if he is dead or escaped in a life pod like last time? The people here talk of a meeting that Capt cascade was to attend...hmmm I believe I know the way. Dilemma...search out the USS Eternaty and see if they are friendly to me or continue my revenge search for Dickard?

It seems that Casperia Prime is on the way that Captian Cascade was traveling, I like that place wine and women and pizza!!!! I would like to think that the captian will still bode goodwill to me even though I was kicked from the academy. Damn only the 73rd person booted from there hence I am forced to wear this tag coolbrz73:(

Well time to full up for the trip, I have decided to search for Cascade and find out info on Dickard!!! With the speed of my ship I'll shall be there in very little time, I hope I can catch them along the way somewhere!!!


18th Aug 2000, 05:50 PM
finnaly, at last. My antivirus is completed and i am fully operational again. It seemed that the Zonitopians had sent over a virus that was very powerful (they tried to control me, but i was way too strong). So now im doing repairs on the uss eternaty.

By the looks of this planet it cant be very friendly.
it is just a cover up! Maybe the zonitopians or some other big alien race is controlling this part of the universe?
i saw some warcows that could make some nice burgers, SO it is BBQ time!!!!
PARTY OVER HERE, i got beer, fuel, soda and alcohol of every kind.

over n out

18th Aug 2000, 05:50 PM
Red Respawn Camper's Log, Round 438952 (Reds: 3, Blues: 1)

I have been accepted into the order of the Red Llamas. After the elders of the order went into a room somewhere and thought for three rounds about what position I should be in the team, they decided on Respawn Camper. It is odd that they took so long to choose, as everyone is a respawn camper. Although I am unwilling, if I do not respawn camp my team will shoot me and I shall be forced to respawn outside again, and be shot 10000000 times before making it to safety.

I have a plan though. Every 10th round the Excessive Overkill mod is played. Maybe if I can fire a huge string of shock rifle balls, and others fired from the sides, creaing a lattice of plasma balls, then I fired the primary laser and detonate them all, the resulting energy explosion might be enough to open an inter-dimensional rift into the material plane. At best I might be able to avoid detection by the angels and make it back to the Eternaty, at worst I could at least get re-tried by St. Peter. I mean, Pokemon A Curious Shade Of Pinky-Russet, Tinged With mauve And Vomit-Coloured Stripes, was all I had to survive on in that Pokemon's stomach!

There is one flaw. I must somehow persuade my llama brothers to help me fire plasma balls to create the concentrated energy. This will be difficult.


I have set up a simple box trap containing a Collins Gem Skaarj Phrasebook, in an attempt to lure my Universal Translator from its hiding place. The Translator will be necessary to persuade my brothers to help me escape.

18th Aug 2000, 11:06 PM
It's been over a day since I last saw any crewmembers from the Panzer Blade or USS Eternaty. I wonder where they all could have gone. The last person I spoke to was Lt. Commander 8-4-7-2 of the USS Eternaty, who said he was going to speak to Captain CaSCaDe about bringing me on-board as a Psychiatrist. Well, I guess if they left without me, there are certianly worse places to be abandoned.

19th Aug 2000, 07:22 AM
Helmsman RizMan's Log, stardate 59876.98

Although I didn't want to get drunk again on this planet, because of my bad memories It had from the last time, 8-4-7-2 invited my for a glass of Romulan Ale (we had far more then 1 glass in the end). Unfortunately, we didn't come up with a lot of new ideas but nevertheless, we had a lot of fun. I hope the captain saw the link I made in my last log, so he can go and chose a motto for our ship.
Speaking of our ship: repairs are going well and I'm going to beam up as soon as I am sober again. I gotta have to ask Chief Engineer (do we have one, if so, I haven't seen for a long time) if he can make a few improvements to the warp drive. During the battle against the Zanitopians, it was rather unreliable. Response time was bad. Probably, there was to much packet loss. The drive's netcode has to be improved a bit. Hopefully, he can also make it a bit faster, but I don't think this is possible, cause the hull won't be able to resist a greater speed then we already travel at.
Henke has been repaired, i.e. his Virus was destroyed. However, I'm still wondering if he doctor hasn't infected him with another virus, so that henke want's to kill us and thus the doctor can dissect us. Oh man, the alcohol always makes me getiing paranioid.

End Log

19th Aug 2000, 07:48 AM
Just what the hell am I doing here????

19th Aug 2000, 08:23 AM
Personal log Stardate:sumpin or other!

I am well on my way towards casperia prime. My ship seems to be handling the speed rather well, thank god for autopilot. My journey has been pretty quite for the most part, the only thing I encountered was what looked to be a pack of pokemon floating in space! Damn I hate those b@stards!!

Well I'm not sure what my future holds on this trip but I hope it will turn out good!! The more free time I get the more I think about Dickard and our last encounter!! My ship is fast but not very much use in battle but nonetheless I went right after him. What seemed like hours was actually just minutes, I somehow got a clean hit(albiet I had to use the aimbot that was equipped with the photon gun). Although the hit all but destroyed the ship, Dickard and a few stragglers managed to escape in a pod!! I went right to the chase but was lead right into a pack Lorg ships!! Outnumbered and outgunned I ahd no choice but to retreat. Dickard's day is coming. Another threat the people of Veredian III spoke of was a name of gramps? I know not this person but nothing good was said about him! I wonder if him and Dickard are in something together? Hmmmmmm...only time will tell.........

19th Aug 2000, 08:57 AM
A spent the last night together with Lieutenenant RizMan (No! Not like you think now). We got really drunk and wanted to think of some new position on the Eternaty. However we didn't come up with any ideas. So I have only the following position to tell Captain Cascade: a cook, an ambassador, and giving Skumboy's rank as Science Officer to someone else.

After this I beamed back to the ship. Casperia is a wonderful planet and I must come back here some time. But all the partys and chicks are too exhausting. The next time I will spent my holidays in the forests with camping, hunting or climbing.

I bought 5 boxes of Romulan Ale and stored them in the unmarked cargobay where I keep the 300 pizzas. [Note to myself:] Don't drink more than 3 glasses of this stuff at once!

I heard that Captain Dickard escaped form the brig. It stil unkown how he managed to do this, but it wouldn't have happened if Security Chief Beerbaron had read our last logs!
We assume that Dickard used one of the escape pods. Therfore he can't be far away. I fear that we didn't hear of him for the last time.

When I stepped out of the transporter room, I saw the wavy air guy running down the corridor. Directly behind him were Doctor Shadow's Sinonian Oodle Doodle Poodle and the Green Spotted Tellurian Monkey, which appeared in my room during a strange Voodoo ritual the day before our arrival.
The weird things keep hapeening on this ship.
And as I have nothing to do now I decided to become a hunter and look for the wavy air guy and then make the kill! I equiped myself with one of Beerbarons cloaking devices and some weapons I found in the weapon lockers. Wait.......... I can see the wavy air prey in the corridor straight ahead.........


19th Aug 2000, 06:42 PM
stardate: what's going on?

Aargh! I've kind of lost track of everyone! I had to spend the time after henke's attack pulling bits of machinery out of myself. A painful procedure but I could only find crazy voodoo doctors on this area of the planet so I had to do it myself. Also, that chick ran off while henke attacked. Damn it, I guess she won't be in our crew unless I can find her again. I heard there was some psychologist supposedly joining us named Elrod but I ain't seen him yet. I guess it's rather obvious it'll be a "him" now. Ho hum, oh well..

End log.

20th Aug 2000, 01:09 PM
Ensign Davey Stroya here, I've been floating around the wreckage of the Panzer Blade (on which I served) for the last few days, unconcious. Could somebody please rescue me?
I don't know how much air I've got left in this escape pod, the systems all seem to have failed.

Oh, and there's a disturbing amount of pokemon floating around outside.

20th Aug 2000, 03:11 PM
Red Respawn Camper's Log, Round 448965 (Reds: 5, Blues: 7)

I am well on my way to escaping from the llama farm. An important element in this was succesfully retrieving my Universal Translator. I threatened it with having to translate every single Psalm in the Christian/Jewish Bible into Japanese if it didn't come out with it's input/output valves up.

Anyway, I was soon able to communicate with everyone. The conversation went like this:

"Erm, excuse me, is this working?"
"Fear me!" (chorused by everyone)
"Look, can you help me get out of here? I must get back to my ship, I was wrongly sentenced here, I'm not a llama!"
"To have sexual intercourse you!" (Memo: work out a way of removing the language filter.)
"Look, they've condemned me.. all of us to spending eternity here without the chance to reform!"
"I am so elite!"
"They're playing the same map over and over again! Don't you get bored?"
"You suck!"

I was getting stuck now. I climed to the highest point on the map, stood up, disregarding the bullets, and held aloft Pokemon A Curious Shade Of Pinky-Russet, Tinged With Mauve And Vomit-Coloured Stripes (I wish I'd just taken Yellow, it's getting really old typing that).

I threw them the game. After a few minutes of looking at it they were jabbering with insane rage. I grabbed it back and instantly had everyone's attention.

"If we can get back into the mortal world, we can stop this franchise for ever!"

I outlined my plan of escape to them. Everyone agreed. All except the leader of my team.

"Look, you, I'm the leader and you suck!" I pushed him off the asteroid and he fell screaming into oblivion. I've always wanted to do that to a llama.

The next round is when Excessive UT is played. Soon I shall be re-united with the Eternaty. As for the llamas? As soon as I get onto the other side of the rift, I'll pull the Impact Hammer out and aim it at the rift. As soon as the llamas come through, they'll die and be pushed back into the Llama Farm. Maybe I did learn something from my stay here. I hope the Eternaty has managed to find a psychologist, as I shall need intensive psychiatric help to get me off my increasing addiction to standing on a tower and shooting people as soon as I see them. As long as the doctor doesn't just decide my brain needs amputating... I don't think I can stand dying again.

20th Aug 2000, 05:38 PM
I'm looking through my window, and I think I can see a ship, through all of the asphixiated(sp?) pokemon. I think it's the USS Eternaty. I'll send a distress call and see if they'll pick me up. Maybe I could even join their crew, if I'm lucky.
Things are looking up for once, I might even smile tommorow...

20th Aug 2000, 05:54 PM
Personal Log

I am getting closer to Casperia prime now. Ive gotten readings on radar of two ships in the vicinty. Damn Radar isnt very powerful.One small ship(possibly an escape pod) seems to be floating among some debris! The other one is layin motionless. It would be alot easier to see without all these damn pokemon carcasses floating around!!! I am picking up some sort of distress signal, very faint, from one of the ships that is shown to be standing still. I have this gut feeling that the small blip among the wreckage has something I should look into. I must confere with my databases more before I make a decision on which path to take.

Supplemental:I'm outta beer and pizza, I hope someone around here has some.

[Edited by coolbrz73 on 08-20-2000 at 08:19 PM]

21st Aug 2000, 05:43 AM
commanders log stardate: I'll find out soon

Groan, this place is starting to get kind of boring (this is a hint ppl). I need a change a pace I think so I'm going to attempt to recover my crashed shuttle from the lake. If I have any luck I'll be able to hae it back in one of the shuttlebays before anyone notices :). Also, if I fix I might even be able to go for a little tour round the planet. Woohoo!

End log.

21st Aug 2000, 06:35 AM
Helmsmqn RizMan's Log, stardate 56987.78

Also I had a lot of fun here, I've finally got enough of Casperia Prime. Getting drunk and having sex during more than a week is quite tiring. However, I'm completely sober now and I'm ready to beam back to the ship and go back to duty. Hopefully, we're gonna have some action soon, cause I'm bored. Nothing happened on this planet excpet of some shuttles crashing.
When I got back to the ship, I saw 8-4-7-2 hunting the wavy air thing which is appearently still hiding on the ship. I hope it hasn't made any damage to our systems. As nobody has seen our security chief during the last days, I'm gonna have to help TO to hunt this thing down also this isn't part of my duties. Well, in a way it is: it is the duty of every starfleet officer to make everything possible to protect the crew and the ship. Also I don't want my new friend to get into danger. The more we are to hunt this thing down the better.
I was also wondering were the captain's hiding. Nobody has seen him for ages. Hopefully, he hasn't been captured by the Zanitopians. These bastards would be able to do such a horrible thing.

End Log

21st Aug 2000, 06:38 AM
Personal Log

I decided to venture into the rubbish that surronds the planet. I went ahead and latched on to the escape pod with my tractorbeam(sp?). What I found inside was a half dead man, mumbling something about battle, some sorta enemies he couldnt pronounce and eternaty! I hurried this man, i think he said his name is something like Stroya!! He is delerious, he has not eaten and is dehydrating!!! I gotta get this man to a doctor! I draw a bead on the other ship, and when I got close enough i found this to be the USS Eternaty!!! I hurriedly sent out a distress call, in hopes I can board the ship safely!! I will wait for an answer but Stroya hasnt much time!!!! If I dont get an answer, I will head straight for the planet!

Over and under!

21st Aug 2000, 12:13 PM
Well most people are now returning to the Eternaty now. After a relaxing vacation everyone is getting back to their posts and awaiting orders.

Whats this...
Just recieved a transmission from a nearby ship. A survivor in an escape pod has been found in the wreckege of the Panzer Blade!

I'll beam the survivor straight to sickbay right away. I'll request that the pilot of the ship comes aboard, I want to thank him personaly for saving one of my ex crew members.

[End Log]

21st Aug 2000, 05:02 PM
Hooray! I've been saved! I'm now on board the USS Eternaty, recieving medical treatment. Although I'm surprised the holographic doctor is treating me. Maybe the others are on the planet?
I should be OK in a short time, and I can't wait to get back to duty. As the ship I was on got destroyed, I might see if any posts exist on this ship. Hmm, do they have a transporter chief I wonder? I quite enjoyed that job...

I wonder if any other survivors from the Panzer Blade are on board the Eternaty? I hope my good friend Neo_Skinz survived

[supplement 2]
I wonder why this ship smells of pizza? And what was that shimmering in the air just then? [sigh] it looks like things could get a little wierd, or have already.

21st Aug 2000, 07:09 PM
Personal Log Stardate:3535326627

The person I picked up from the wreckage has been beamed aboard the Uss Eternaty!!! I think he will turn out just fine. I was invited to board the ship. I docked up to the eternaty and am now inside the loading dock area. I think I will wonder around for a little bit as I dont see any welcoming party:( Maybe they are busy with repairs!

[intercepted message]
...Thar T'pak...ship on way...autopilot engaged...ETA 16 days......
...report on prey....encounters....Third Triad out...
[end of message]

Hmmm, ive heard of those bastards somewhere..real annoyances, dont know what that was about yet.
I gotta find someone to get me up to speed on the situation here and see if I can find any info on the accursed Capt.Dickard.

Is that pizza and beer I smell? It seems to be everywhere. What the hell is going on in this ship? I gotta find the Captain or a commanding officer.

22nd Aug 2000, 12:50 AM
Medical Officer's Log
Stardate: Get me the hell out of Casperia Prime!!
Oh great god of the two necked and one eyed zenotopian lab mouse! I almost became lunch for the britaney spears monster. She used her annoying voice and cheesy lyrics to subdue me and cast a spell upon me. I found myself moving rythymically to the lyrics, moving, doing the oggah boogah dance. Thank god for the oodle doodle poodle which too must have found it annoying. It started yapping and then charged at britaney getting a mouthful of breast. Britaney's horrendously melodious tunes were replaced by a shriek of "OH NO MY SILICONES!" as she began to stave off the oodle doodle poodle. I saw my chance an made my escape back to the ship. Just in time to because we had a new survivor from the panzer come aboard. They were going to take him to the stupid hologrpahic thingimajig doctor, but I got there in time. Who knows what that hologram would give the poor ensign D'stroya. I treated him and gave him a prescribtion too take five pills, six times a day. It doesn't matter what pill as long as it is a pill that is green. Menawhile I turned off the holo doctor and erased him from the memory banks. This ship is big enuff for only one of us. I have also notcied Rizman looking at me funny lately. I wonder whats bugging him? Maybe he wants to hump me...oh no, I have hump a phobia...I hope his intentions aren't that. Lastly my oodle doodle poodle that I had bought for the captain is missing. I must find it. Some crew member said something about seeing it runnig behind a wavy air thing trying to hump it's foot. Damn I hope there really isn't a hunter aboard this ship. Those poodles are allergic to them hunters. If they hump the hunter enough times they become hunter seeker doodles and become really nasty. They don't nip at people's asses anymore they bite!
Doctor OshadowO out.

22nd Aug 2000, 05:08 AM
Helmsman RizMan's Log, stardate 98765.43

Last night, while I was heading for my quarters, I met the doctor and his hoodle doodle poodle. He looked at me in a quite suspicious way. I think he knows that I suspect him of wanting to infect henke with this "Kill all the crewmembers of the Eternaty so I can dissect them" Virus. I still don't trust this guy. Just look at him all these weird habits he has. But who knows, he's possibly a nice guy, perhaps I should talk to him a while to get to know him better.
We were hailed by a person called coolbrz73 (sp?). He rescued an old crewmember of the Panzer Blade. Neo_Skinz invited him Coolbrz onboard to thank him for rescuing his old friend without the captain's permission: I hope he knows what he does, as we don't know about coolbrz's intentions. We already have a wavy air thing here, no need for a second threat. Oh man, I gotta go to see the shrink, I'm really suffering from paranoia dirung the last few days. I can't trust anybody I don't know.

I'm wondering if nobody managed to recruit a female crew member on Casperia Prime. I don't want to have holosex for the next weeks it's not the same thing. However, the advantage of holosex is that you can do whatever you want with the girl, she never complains :)

I heard that repairs are going on well and should be finished in a few days. We will finally be able to continue our journey. I'm wondering if Chief Engineer did manage to solve the packet loss problem with the helms console. The ship wasn't reliable during the last battle du to long response times between the console and the impulse drive.
Perhaps their's a problem with the plasma connectors in the console.
No I'm gonna rest for a while.

End Log

22nd Aug 2000, 07:25 AM
I thought I saw the wavy air Hirogen hunter guy in the corridor straight ahead. Well it was "only" Lt. RizMan who wanted to help me hunting it down. I wonder how he was able to see me,as I used one of Security Chief Beerbaron's cloaking device's. Perhaps they don't work perfectly. Now Lt. RizMan and I wander through the ship on search for the wavy air guy. I'm sure we can make the kill!

Lt. Commander Jennyway, First Officer of the USS Panzer Blade, is still missing. I'm sorry to hera this, as we still don't have female crewmembers. To compensate a resulting disadvante, I bought a awesome holodeck programm on Casperia: "Vulcan Love Slave - Part II". As soon as i have some free time, I'll try it out.

Supplemental II
Lt.Cmd. Neo_Skinz managed to rescue Ensign D-Stroya, another survivor of the Panzer Blade. He currently recovers in sickbay and waits for an assignment. Doctor OShadow0 has deleted our EMH, because he thinks that he can treat everone with his Voodoo stuff. I still don't trust him!

Ensign D-Stroya stated that he was the Transporter Chief of the Panzer Blade. We could also need a cook, and an ambassador. In addition I still vote for giving Skumboys's position as Science Officer to s.o. else. D-Stroya should talk to Captain Cascade or other crewmembers for a position.


22nd Aug 2000, 07:31 AM
wlehr ru eil of u guiys?
abondonign youitre calpatialn isn noitl verylk nicewa is isda?
(3,56 hours time out)

Ah man i have a head acke over here!!!
those drinkhere r to good!!!!
i think acording to the pool of vomit i'm lying in (EUWH!) i have been drunk from the beginning i got here! damn i ques my cre must be wandering where the heck i am?

wait a minute!
where is m crew i dont see them ne ware?
have ther left me behind on this planet somehow?
how is that possible?
leaving your captain on a planet?

i will try yto hail them?
they cant leave me here?
get me out of here i hate this planetr!!!!!!!

CaSCaDe out

22nd Aug 2000, 07:49 AM
Commander's log stardate I still don't know

Repairing my shuttle is proving harder than I thought. For starters I have to fix it underwter as I don't have anything to use to pull it to the surface. Still, I've managed to get the proplulsion back online so I'mgoing to try to get this thing to surface.


Ah, that's better I can take this diving gear off now! I do have another problem though, it appears that the replicator has been continuously replicating beer since I crashed over a week ago. I'll have to get an engineer to have look at that when I get back.

Hold on, I think I just saw CaSCaDe staggering around drunk over there. I haven't seen him in a long time. He must think we've left.

End log.

22nd Aug 2000, 09:23 AM
Ahh, nu har jag äntligen lyckats göra mig av med min förre arbetsgivare, Khuul T'Pak. Den ärkenöten! Jag tackar min lyckliga stjärna att jag, genom list, smicker, och kontanter, lyckades övertala de 10 underbara feminoiderna på Casperia Prime att supa ner honom och älska honom till döds.
Jag har strålat mig ombord på skeppet USS Eternaty. Jag hoppas här finna en säker hamn (ha, ha), långt från slaveri och köpekontrakt. Ingen ska äga mig igen, så sant som jag heter Bozo. Jag är fri! FRI! Mwuahahahahaha!!! Eh... Hmm...
Jag undrar om det finns en ledig tjänst ombord som diplomat/tolk. Jag borde fråga. Jag behärskar ju trots allt alla kända språk och kulturer i den kända delen av universum.

[UniTrans - on]
Attention all shoppers! Erm... Hrm... <cough> I wish to meet your Captain. My name is Bozo, of the family =MD=, and I come in peace <ack, ack>. I have recently lost my former employer...er...due to...hrm...unfortunate circumstances on the planet Casperia Prime.
I have taken the liberty to spybeam myself onboard, and I find your fine ship impressive. I do hereby wish to offer my services. I am fully educated in all the cultures and customs in the known parts of the universe, and I do belive that I, through wits and other measures, can adapt to any of the cultures that are to be found in the other parts of the universe. I have experience in working as a translator, lawyer, and diplomat. I am also good at extracting information from subjects that refuse to speak.
Do you have a need of my services, or shall I spybeam back to the planet of Casperia Prime?
[UniTrans - off]

Jag hoppas att jag äntligen kan finna en arbetsgivare som uppskattar min kompetens, och inte enbart använder mig för att finna objekt att projicera sina sexlustar på...

[Log - end]

22nd Aug 2000, 09:31 AM
[UniTrans - on]
Oh, one more thing. I just wanted to point out to you that I wish you no harm.
[UniTrans - off]


[UniTrans - on]
Honest... I don't...
[UniTrans - off]

[Log - end]