as for your question; yeah I believe all this special treatment is a bad thing. I've grown up in this culture but I feel like my parents allowed me to get past it before it had a chance to screw me up. when I was a kid, everyone was a winner. even the baseball team that came in LAST PLACE got a trophy at the end of the season. but aside from that and unlike most kids I knew, I actually had to earn most of the good things that came to me either by doing chores or getting straight A's etc etc. got my first real job when I was 15 and have worked ever since.
and there was balance.
my parents didn't make it seem like the end of the world if I came home with a B or C on my report card. there wouldn't be penalties, but there also wouldn't be rewards. the point is that there was a great incentive for me to perform well in order to better myself.
this is what kids should be taught. not this "everyone wins" crap.
because a culture where everyone wins is not realistic; it stifles a child's ability to learn problem solving, stick to a challenge, set long-term goals, and accomplish tasks for their own merit.
we are seeing the ill effects right now.
America is caught up in worshiping celebrities instead of hard work and real world contributions. it's pretty sad. I'm afraid it will breed a society of lazy, egocentric half-wits.
I noticed when one of my sons "graduated" from Kindergarten some years ago, every child received an award for something, ranging best listener to best friend, etc. It was rather disturbing, I thought. Setting up the kids to think that they can slide through life and still be successful? Yeah, that is where I want my tax dollars to go.
But when parents do this crap, it makes it even worse. Honestly, it is almost like parents today want to be their kids' best friends instead of actual parents. Personally, I blame a lot of this on the socially twisted ideology that positive reinforcement is all that is needed, that we as a society cannot blame those who have committed offenses, for maybe they had a horrible childhood or did not have the same privileges as those who do not commit offenses. It starts at such an early age. An acquaintance of my ex-wife came over to our house with her brood in tow (I was still married at the time). Well, one of her kids knocked over one of my Bose speakers, and all this woman did was sit there. She never told the child "no" or chastised or otherwise corrected the child in any way. She never even apologized to me or my wife, nor did she offer to fix or pay for the damages.
Heck, I see it when I go to a fast food restaurant or the drug store. The cashier barely even notices that you exist, and I rarely get a "may I help you" or "thank you" during my visit. There is no pride in ownership of a job, even if it IS minimum wage, a person should be thankful they have a job, and be professional and courteous to customers and/or clients. I spend a hell of a lot more money at the local grocery store than I do at the doctor's office, so why do I get treated with less courtesy at the former?
I got a bit off-track, but back to the self-esteem issue, this rolls right into my point. If people have no self-esteem, which they learn AND earn as children, they will not treat others with courtesy and respect. Learning this self-respect is taught not only by reinforcing one's good natured habits, but by helping a person to recognize when they have erred or failed, and how to deal with error or failure and to overcome it through hard work and determination. I feel we have propelled this ideology through entitlements. Look at unemployment entitlements; the jobless have 99 weeks of unemployment compensation. In the State of California, unemployment checks top out at about $500 per week. That is almost $50K of unemployment benefits (re: entitlements) paid mostly by taxpayers. And Congress wants to add several more weeks of entitlements.
We are being hit from all sides with this touchy-feely "it's okay to fail you aren't really failing because we have your back" mentality running so rampant throughout our society. My issue is that even if parents try to do the right thing in teaching their children to be responsible and own up to their failures and misdeeds, the rest of society is telling these kids just the opposite.
I spent my entire life being told I wouldn't amount to anything and that I'd be pumping gas when I grow up. It's alot better this way because I get to prove everyone wrong.
Same thing happened to me, and I turned out quite successful. As a real testament to my parents' fortitude, I recently was awarded "assistant fry manager" at the local burger hop.
Off Topic would be completely dead if everyone stopped doing that, and you know it.
