Reasons you know you play too much UT!

  • Two Factor Authentication is now available on BeyondUnreal Forums. To configure it, visit your Profile and look for the "Two Step Verification" option on the left side. We can send codes via email (may be slower) or you can set up any TOTP Authenticator app on your phone (Authy, Google Authenticator, etc) to deliver codes. It is highly recommended that you configure this to keep your account safe.

Temporary Account

Temporarily Permanent
Jan 25, 2000
1,652
0
0
49
cosmicmonstersinc.com
Every time someone dies in a movie you hear the announcer saying "head shot", or "monster kill".

Every where you go you think to yourself, "That would be a great sniper position."

Not that I've done these mind you...no REALLY! Um...I gotta go now...

bullet2.gif

-[CMi]Soul-Crusher
www.cosmicmonstersinc.com
 
O

osirus

Guest
- bots in a game stop talking sh*t.(forgot i couldnt curse on the forum)

- you walk in a room and 16 people feign dead.

- people throw themselves off a ledge rather than go against you're enforcer.

- you fall asleep at your computer and wake up with 30 frags doing the hump.

- the other teams flag is shooting at you too.

- at work you tell your boss "I've got your back"

- people on the street feign dead in front of you.

- you smell like the box UT came in.

- your mom makes you cookies shaped like UT characters.

...um ill think of some more and post em

[This message has been edited by osirus (edited 03-16-2000).]
 

JESUS CHRIST

Masterful
Feb 23, 2000
483
0
0
Red Bank, NJ
Visit site
haha...


10) Got arrested for climbing the flag pole at your local post office.

10) Always find yourself engaging according to operational parameters.

10) Named first child Fastson....

hehehe
 

Bounca

Unemployed Loser
Jan 18, 2000
424
0
0
Visit site
My beloved UT has given me:

1)Carpal tunnel in my wrist,
2)Carpal tunnel in my toes,
3)Carpal tunnel in my knees,
4)Carpal tunnel in my head,
5)Carpal tunnel in my cats paws,
6)Carpal tunnel in my G-mas corns on her feet
7)Carpal tunnel in my trucks engine (huh?)
8)Carpal tunnel in my d!ck...oh wait, thats from somethin else.
..alright, I ran out of carpal tunnels, n' yes I realize the human body really only has ONE carpal tunnel
..oh wait, I got carpal tunnel in my fingers from this post

BTW ever see Bob Dole with that death grip on that pen like that all the time, he didn't get that ailment from WWII like he says, he got it fraggin till 4 AM just like me!!!!!!!!

Peace out.
 

ATP

New Member
Mar 11, 2000
36
0
0
atpmusic.tripod.com
You've been playing too much UT when:

1 you re-live your latest matches in your dreams, and then wake up behind your monitor only to discover you WERE actually playing UT as you slept...

2 you still hang around at this forum at six a.m. even when EVERYBODY has gone to bed...

3 you drive through town, thinking how cool it would be if someone made an exact replica of it for UT...

4 you're playing a quiet match, and you go after the really good ones with shieldbelts and powerups, just because it's more fun than waiting for somebody to come to you...

5 you discover that standing still is no longer a part of your primary functions...

6 you seriously consider "Headshot" as an appropriate name for your little boy...

7 you suddenly realize that all of the above reasons are based on actual experiences...



bullet2.gif

Consistency is the defence of a small mind. (Beldin - Eddings)
 

GreenMeat

New Member
Feb 22, 2000
62
0
0
Visit site
I think i play too much UT because...


1. I strafe around corners everywhere i go.

2. I walk several steps backward after i sneeze, 'cuz i know that green stuff's gonna explode!

3. I just walk over things instead of bending over to pick them up.

4. My wife and kids left me at some point, but i'm not exactly sure when...

5. I am afraid to look out the window, because of snipers.

6. I have an almost irresistable urge to steal the flag from McDonald's.

7. I talked my boss into buying UT, and insisted that he use the Xan mesh.

8. When i need to get into the attic, i catch myself looking for the Translocator instead of the stepladder.

9. I reach for my Enforcer and dodge forward out of bed as soon as i "respawn" in the morning /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

10. I burned the music from my favorite maps onto a CD and play it at work to make the withdrawal less painful.
 
G

GunnerX

Guest
10) You're 1 hour late for work..
10) You're 1.5 hours late for work..
10) You're 2 hours late for work..
10) Work? What work?
10) You yell "blow him up!" when somebody gets shot in a movie.
10) You try to modify your circular saw to shoot.
10) You buy your wife a Nakita costume and say "Wear that so I can FRAG you baby!" /~unreal/ubb/html/biggrin.gif


GunnerX_2000
 

KingKobra|PuF

Zombified<br><img src="http://www.planetunreal.com
I want everyone to add to this list! Be creative AND funny!

1. you can frag anybody/bot with the enforcer
2. You call your boss 'Xan'
3. you try to buy a rocket launcher on Ebay
4. You have never sat through a movie without saying "Die Bitch!"
5. You are reading this list
6. You thrown green jell-o at people and shout "You have been slimed!"
7. Planet Unreal is your start page
8. You have more than 2000 posts in this forum
9. You know Cliffy B's home adress and have never met him before
10. You can think of a tenth thing to put here! (you know you wanna!
 
B

BloW__Smoke

Guest
The 10 thing i find out that i played way to mutch ut.

1. I only dates girl's who name is nikita.
2. I never use stair's anymore, afraid of ambushes, and only jump true windows (bad for health ensurance)
3. If i see ANY flag, i get to urge to snatch it, run home as hell and shout "cover me"
4. I do wake up in the morning reading this forum
5. Nobody call's me by my real name anymore
6. Alway's get shot after a frag (course i'll starting to do real victory dances behind my desk)
7. I started to ware actually UT clothing.
8. I don't got friends anymore
9. I go to bed with my keyboard as pillow (ehh actually i don't go to bed, i sleep on my desk)
10. Ehhh, i don't know, ehhh BOOOM!!

bullet2.gif

Just relax, take a BloW__Smoke
 
D

Das Fragmeister

Guest
LOLOL I love "Bots stop talking s**t!"

A few adds:

10) You buy a cell phone only because people can no longer reach you due to marathon UT sessions online.
9) Your roommate buys a cell phone only because of your marathon UT sessions online.
(And what's sad, is that these are true)
8) The beginning of every conversation you have with your roommate is "Hey, watch me kill this guy...."
7) You no longer get up to go to the bathroom. (And that doesn't mean you've stopped going, either)
6) Your pressure your fiance to include your UT nickname as part of her married name. "What's wrong with Sarah Michaels-Fragmeister? Oh, c'mon, you're just being silly...why don't you care about the things I care about...?"
5) You are willing to forgo watching The Simpsons to play UT.
4) Playing UT is starting to interfere with how much time you can spend in bars.
3) You've removed cherished pornography from your hard drive to do a "full install" to squeeze out the few extra FPS.
2) You actually buy copies of the game for friends so you can frag them online.
2a) You actually buy new PCs for friends, so you can buy them the game, so you can frag them online.

and the #1 reason:

1) Sex? Just two more flag runs, and after I frag this $@#%! sniper that keeps nailing me....



bullet2.gif

-- Das Fragmeister
Yah, I am zo kick-*** , I make ze uzzer snipers look az zough zey were spitting q-tips through a wet straw. Touch my monkey!
 

grey ghost

New Member
Mar 13, 2000
65
0
0
Australia
N
10) you dress in either all blue or all red (and when you see an innocent bystander in the oppisite colour you yell "incoming")


bullet2.gif

don't run!! you'll only die tierd
 

HWAS

New Member
Dec 26, 1999
626
0
0
Carnegie, PA USA
members.tripod.com
Top 10 indications I play too much UT:

10. When I shoot bottle rockets, I try to "lock on" to birds.
9. I find myself "dodging" in gym class, only to crush the gym teacher.
8. Every time I see a fireman (in red) and a cop (in blue), I wonder which team is winning.
7. I get up at 5:30 every morning to play an hour of UT before school (the night before, I usually play 'till 12:00.)
6. The next day, when I fall asleep in school, I dream of UT.
5. When playing CTF in gym class, I find myself yelling "All LPBs go rape their base!"
4. When walking somewhere, I tend to jump around.
3. When someone is talking sh!t, I say "I am the Alpha and the Omega!", and they say "Huh?"
2. I spam in the Nerf forum, so I can improve my ranking.

And the #1 reason is:
1. All of the above has truly happened.
/~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif


bullet2.gif

"If Hellen Keller was psychic, could you say she had a fourth sense?" -George Carlin
 

Zeitgeist

New Member
Dec 24, 1999
157
0
0
Visit site
LOL! My girlfriend actually said this to me. "I almost feel like there's another woman, when you're with me, you're thinking about UT aren't you?"




bullet2.gif

With friends like these, who needs enemas?
 

wiggum_pi

New Member
Dec 28, 1999
730
0
0
Visit site
-You say "Roger" instead of "yes".
-You imagine yourself translocating up stairs.
-You search for secret doors in your closet, hoping to find a shield belt.
-You pretend to carry an impact hammer, and every time you bump into someone, you make a "booomphhhhh" sound with your mouth.
-You do something -- anything -- five times in a row and then yell, "Killing Spree!"
-You get aroused when you even think of playing UT.
-You peek out the window, imagining yourself sniping the neighborhood thugs.
-You walk up and down your street, looking to use your ASMD Combo on anything that moves.
-You practice circle strafing in your living room.

bullet2.gif

Who's gonna be the odd man out? I want to be the odd man out.
-- [Ci]CookieMnstr|PuF
 
P

[PuF]Firestorm

Guest
- When you complete UT you cut out the trophy on the front of your box and put it in a display cabinet.

- When you get lag in real life

- When you only speak in UT taunts

- When you start strafing around doors and corners in your own house

- When you try throwing CDs at someones neck to try and get a headshot

- When every 15 minutes or so your vision goes blue and the word LOADING appears in front of you.

- When you're disappointed when you put your belt on and it doesn't give you a strange gold electric glow.

- When you're disappointed when you put your trainers on and they don't let you jump 30 foot in the air.

- When you break into a state of chronic depression when you find that UT keeps crashing!

- When you wonder if you can use strange white barrels with blue fluid in to make you twice as healthy!

- When you find you look ugly so you try to change your skin

- When you fall off a building and think if you write 'Iamtheone' then 'Ghost' on a piece of paper everything will be fine.

- When you try to turn Autotaunts on in real life so you can speak automatically

- When every other game in your collection becomes obselete

- When you constantly hear UT music playing in your mind

- When you find the UT hud has burnt into your monitor screen



bullet2.gif

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous...