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AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 04:38 AM
lost are the glory days
of valor and honor
and angry angry ice

now there is only erections
a swarthy erection
connected at the hip
balls deep in banhammeren

angry angry ice
please fix this injustice
bring back the glory days
"but that's just me."

http://www.carefairs.com/carefairs/assets/product_images/product_lib/24000-24999/24795.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 04:41 AM
forsooth fair glory
banhammeren and penis
have shattered you

oh swarthy foreskin
apologize to angry
ice ice ice ice ice

http://www.collecto-mania.com/hummel/little%20patriot.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 04:45 AM
furious spurious ice
said swarthy isn't nice
his dick is connected
with bannhammeren infected
and glory days are only for mice

but that's just me

http://jimallanstudio.com/IMAGES/airbrush_the_patriot.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 04:50 AM
hitler and swarthy
were seperated at birth
both are true nazis

bring back the glory
disconnect banhammeren
from your dick swarthy

but but but but but
but but but but but but but
but but that's just me

http://www.blueyonder.com/flight/pearl/images/allies.JPG

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 04:57 AM
please swarthy
bring us back to the days of glory
on these fair forums
beyond unreal
beyond the day in and day out reality of anger
and angry ice

praise justice
do not pluck the maidenhead
of the tender ideal of fairness
remove
disconnect
withdraw your glistening phallus

the banhammeren must stay untouched
ghostly venereal transfer
losing glory
and angry ice
and lost glory days and angry ice
but that's just me

http://www.mardigrasbeadsonline.com/pflag.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 05:02 AM
keep the banhammeren
from my withering gaze
my anger is like ice
cold upon your phallus

swarthy i deny you
to touch the banhammeren
as you deny my glory
and my glory days

once beyond unreal was paradise
now paradise is lost, swarthy
thanks to your loathsome banhammeren
but that's just me

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000068C7V.01._PE28_.God-Bless-America-The-Ultimate-Patriotic-Album._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 05:06 AM
gone are the days
of poops and farts
banhammeren does remain

when glory goes
a foreskin comes
and swarthy is thy name

give us this day
our angry ice
but that's just me

http://198.170.117.226/crmpics/justice1.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 05:08 AM
i have a dream
of glory days
and poo and farts
and happy ice

angry ice
it does displease me
as does the dispensal
of banhammeren

swarthy please my friend
take heed to my cry
remove your foreskin
but that's just me

http://www.aracnet.com/~pdxavets/rob3.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 05:12 AM
here lies angry ice
crushed under unjust rulers
sadly not cubed
yet he can still post

cut me
do i not bleed
angry ice is a man just like i
the quest for glory
your cries do not go unheard

swarthy cruel monarch
of these forums wherein we reside
extricate yourself from your malice'd banhammeren
a pound of flesh
and it does not suit you well
but that's just me

http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2005/Feb-05-Sat-2005/photos/1marine.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 05:16 AM
rise up my brethren
rise i say rise
dispute swarthy
dispute his banhammeren

we the people
black, white, any color
we are angry, angry ice

swarthy we give you a holler
detach yourself from your unjust prejudiced banhammeren
all citizens of the world resent your fist
but that's just me

http://us.history.wisc.edu/hist102/photos/assets/photos/1013.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 05:17 AM
our liberty is at risk my fellows
a dark influence who would kill innocents
is hounding our doors
swarthy and his banhammeren
we must be vigilant
to prevent angry ice
and the loss of our great glory
allah akbar
god is great
america must die
but that's just me

http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/9485/30330406eaglewithflagcopy4ju.jpg

Otej
1st Mar 2006, 05:46 AM
the amount of time on your hands worries me

but that's just me

sid
1st Mar 2006, 06:52 AM
ATD+STD= Future is here!!

Daedalus
1st Mar 2006, 09:30 AM
ATD+STD= Future is here!!

What?

sid
1st Mar 2006, 10:26 AM
Ahh nevermind I just got in the mood for random crappy posting........ my apologies.

mokeh
1st Mar 2006, 10:34 AM
When I was young and had no sense
In far-off Mandalay
I lost my heart to a message board
As lovely as the day.

Its threads were gold, poop jokes told,
The king was Morety;
I said, "for many long years,
here will my posts be".

He looked at me, so pure, so sad,
The loveliest thing alive,
Dick to the banhammeren,
He began his hateful drive.

An iron fist, an evil eye,
Banned the vets, far and wide.
Dopefish, tool, phatcat too;
Beyond unreal genocide.

Stand firm with me breathren,
I recall; we were free.
I long for those glory days,
But that's just me.

Evil_Cope
1st Mar 2006, 10:38 AM
pleaze swarthy
bring us bizzay ta tha days of glory
on these fair forums
beyond unreal
beyond tha day in n day out reality of gangsta
n angry ice

praise justice
do not plizzay tha maidenheezee
of tha rappa ideal of fairness
remove
disconnect
witdraw yo messin' phallus

tha banhammizzle must stay untouched
ghostly venereal killa
los'n glory
n angry ice
n lost glory days n angry ice
but that's jizzle me


:lol: http://sites.gizoogle.com/index2.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fforums.beyondunreal.com%2Fshowthread.php%3Ft%3D170581

RaptoR
1st Mar 2006, 10:39 AM
:catfight:

Swarthy_Foreskin
1st Mar 2006, 06:52 PM
http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/3416/mcbanhammerensmall8sj.jpg
http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/5117/datdtjm8jd.jpg

AriTheDog
1st Mar 2006, 06:53 PM
:lol: http://sites.gizoogle.com/index2.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fforums.beyondunreal.com%2Fshowthread.php%3Ft%3D170581

Come on come on
I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself
is BuF worth leavin' should I ban myself?
I'm tired of bein' angry and even worse I'm ice
my fingers burn so I'm lookin' for a thread to crash
Swarthy give a damn postcount zero
hook his dick to the banhammeren he's a hero
Just bans all the kids who the hell cares
one less ugly mouth on the "post your favorite chair"
First read 'em only & let 'em deal the BuFers
give 'em probation step back watch 'em flame each other
It's time to fight back that's what Phil said
Twice banned from the forums now Phil's dead
I got love for my moderator but we can never go nowhere
unless we post with each other
We gotta start makin' changes
learn to see me as a BuFer instead of 2 distant strangers
and that's how it's supposed to be
How can the glory leave a BuFer if he's close to me?
I'd love to go back to when we joked 'bout poop
but that's just me, and that's the way it is

http://images.art.com/images/-/Tupac-Shakur--C10005928.jpeg

Ice
1st Mar 2006, 07:41 PM
First off: This is pretty funny, even if I am the butt of the joke.

The only problem I see is that I can say one snide thing about a moderator here and I get a warning from a site-wide admin who freely admits that he avoids OT, and then the thread gets locked. While I have no problem getting made fun of, I think this thread (made purely as a personal attack, funny though it may be) is allowed to go on, even after a mod looked at it.

1) Do not insult/attack another forumer or his viewpoints. Debating is fine. If you can't tell the difference between an attack and debate then you shouldn't be debating in the first place.


I do realize that he says that moderators reserve the right to mock stupidity. Yet I think the double standard at this forum might be one of the things that several forum members are pissed about to begin with...

Just my two cents, but seeing as how a moderator has already felt need to post in here with several crude images already I doubt that this will get a similarily well-reasoned reply. If you really want to talk about this like gentlemen, I'd be willing to take it to PM.

Cap'n Beeb
1st Mar 2006, 07:43 PM
Aww shizzle dizzle mah shîttles nigga, dis shît bes fo realz nah!

BobCobb
1st Mar 2006, 07:49 PM
Indeed the banhammeren is coming to our make money fast chap.

Bean316
1st Mar 2006, 08:11 PM
I can't quite express how much I enjoyed reading Ari's little ditties earlier today. Glad we'll get to see more :lol:

Ice
1st Mar 2006, 08:13 PM
I'm actually logging most of this, through screenshots and stuff.

Peavey
1st Mar 2006, 08:41 PM
Banhammeren -- N.; from Norse Mythology: A phallic hammer used by the Norse god Sjwarth Foeskin to strike down the ancient titan of Ice.

ex.: "The titan of Ice had feared the Banhammeren of Sjwarth Foeskin; alas, that was just him."

Airmoran
1st Mar 2006, 08:55 PM
hey wait, didn't this get locked earlier?
The banhammeren ain't so much the problem as is the threadlockerum.

das_ben
1st Mar 2006, 09:33 PM
Good thing it's open again. One of two good threads in one of the worst BUF OT weeks in history? Perhaps.

ZenPirate
1st Mar 2006, 09:41 PM
I like this thread. It's creative, with just a hint of possible hidden agenda. It's kind of like hot cocoa with a hint of nutmeg on top.

Al
1st Mar 2006, 10:01 PM
+1 for best thread ever?

Synastren
1st Mar 2006, 10:45 PM
Banhammeren -- N.; from Norse Mythology: A phallic hammer used by the Norse god Sjwarth Foeskin to strike down the ancient titan of Ice.

ex.: "The titan of Ice had feared the Banhammeren of Sjwarth Foeskin; alas, that was just him."
One of the best posts in this thread. :tup:

SlayerDragon
1st Mar 2006, 11:07 PM
One of the best posts in this thread. :tup:
Agreed. Peavey, dude, I was dieing :lol:

Peavey
1st Mar 2006, 11:10 PM
Ice ice baby!
Ice ice baby!

All right stop! collaborate and listen!
Ice is back, and it's Swarthy he's dissin'
Something grabs a hold of Ice tightly
Banhammeren attached to Swarthy's penis nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Ban a sucka, and watch it grow
Banhammeren... yo I can't handle
Bans a chump and melts Ice like a candle
Ban the rest, Banhammeren BOOMS
Says he's killin BuF like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when Ice posts a dope topic
Swarthy comes in, then he locks it
Love it or leave it, Ice and Swarthy,
I can't believe it, yo but that's just me
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it!

K
1st Mar 2006, 11:37 PM
:rockon: I love and hate that song at the same time!

sid
2nd Mar 2006, 02:14 AM
Aww shizzle dizzle mah shîttles nigga, dis shît bes fo realz nah!
My cousin keeps blabberin something very similar to the above. Hes settled near detroit could that be the reason?

Freon
2nd Mar 2006, 02:17 AM
:con: I thought this thread was closed...
I guess miracles DO happen :notworthy:

mokeh
2nd Mar 2006, 02:49 AM
This board is your board, this board is my board
From off topic to infiltration
The poll threads to the poop jokes
This board is made for you and me.

As I go walking this information highway
Endless possibility
And all around me the posters are saying:
This board is made for you and me.

I roam and I ramble and I follow my footsteps
Till I see swarthy, standing in the road
The banhammeren comes crashing down, and;
This board is made for you and me.

Where the flames are blowing I go a strolling
The veterans just keep on dropping.
The dust is lifting and the wind is saying:
This board is made for you and me.

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking the information highway
Nobody living can make me turn back
But maybe that's just me.

Shroom-FX
2nd Mar 2006, 05:56 AM
The BuF revolution had begun
With words, not hammer or gun
Ari at the front
Moke in for the hunt
How long before they are undone?

Swarthy_Foreskin
2nd Mar 2006, 06:07 AM
I have a limerick as well:

there once was a board called buf
that was filled with all sorts of stuff
content was bland
and people got banned
cause they gave swarthy some guff

B
2nd Mar 2006, 06:13 AM
So how long is all this bull**** gonna continue?

Al
2nd Mar 2006, 09:14 AM
Hopefully forever. It's like a friggin soap opera. I love it!

K
2nd Mar 2006, 10:10 AM
It's like a beautifull stinky brown poopie. If it dries out , you just get it wet with the hose and all is good agian!

HIIIDEEEEE HOOOOO EVERYBUDDY!!!

Cap'n Beeb
2nd Mar 2006, 10:50 AM
So how long is all this bull**** gonna continue?

Way to contribute, A+++++ would read again.

Unfortunatly I lack an ability to rhyme well, so I'll just sit back and enjoy the awesome 8)

MetalMickey
2nd Mar 2006, 11:34 AM
Heres my rhyme

This forum is $hit
I Quit

Enjoy your EMO discussions (whatever that is) and "hilarious" gay sex references. Wa nkers.

One last :rolleyes: for old times sake.

sid
2nd Mar 2006, 11:41 AM
Goodbye and I wish you all the best for times ahead :)

Shroom-FX
2nd Mar 2006, 12:42 PM
Posters flocked to the thread
among them metalmickey had said
this forum is shít
and I am quit
good riddance you ****-head! :)

AriTheDog
2nd Mar 2006, 01:55 PM
So how long is all this bull**** gonna continue?

Hey that doesn't rhyme! :(

Evil_Cope
2nd Mar 2006, 02:39 PM
Hey that doesn't rhyme! :(

He's a renegade beat-poet, he's transcended, maaaaaan.

ski-wop, de-woop.

hyrulian
2nd Mar 2006, 02:41 PM
Can this thread get locked again? I liked it better when it was locked.
Oh wait, that doesn't rhyme. Too bad.

mokeh
2nd Mar 2006, 03:20 PM
Oh moderator, lock this thread!
Lock this thread, now one lies dead
One lies dead, a wasted life
A wasted life, too high a price
Too high a price, to look away
To look away, contain dismay
Contain dismay, I hope; I prey
I hope; I prey, for self control
For self control, to reach my goal
To reach my goal, this thread to lock
This thread to lock, yet bumped to top?
Bumped to top, oh moderator
Oh moderator, save me from myself!

Bean316
2nd Mar 2006, 03:34 PM
Peavey's def was golden, for sure.
EDIT: Balls, MM is gone?!

Sir_Brizz
2nd Mar 2006, 03:39 PM
I clicked a button on the screen
And suddenly all I saw was green!
"Help me, help me", I cried out loud
"I'm trapped within this ugly green shroud!"
But no help was to be found
Because the banhammeren ne'er come round!

Freon
2nd Mar 2006, 04:24 PM
This thread should shine
In the OT classics files
Get moke to the mic
For the next Bu Podcast
Don't be a pawn
And lock talent down
My solution for these times:
Less bans, more rhymes.

Airmoran
2nd Mar 2006, 05:15 PM
Haiku represent!
These rhymes you speak are weak,
So stay down wit dogs.

BobCobb
2nd Mar 2006, 05:22 PM
You guys are such fags,
treating poor Ice like a filthy rag,
perhaps one day my foot shall enter your ass,
and break your little house of glass,
you think so highly of your pathetic little lives,
I watch gleefully as to hell it dives!

Enjoy your soapbox as long as you can,
because things will soon be different my man,
The coming of Reich v4.0 will be clear,
with a warranty of over 1000 years.

Peavey
2nd Mar 2006, 08:15 PM
Alright you negative mother****ing nancies,
If locking this thread really fits your fancies,
I'm gonna have to kick it up a notch and kick you in the head,
So don't you dare tell us that you would love to lock this thread,
Because you're the types that are just too ***** to have a little fun,
And for those of you, if that's the case, you'd better ****ing run,

Away little bitch, run away
If you only got somethin' ****ty to say
Don't try to ruin our fun because you ain't that clever,
Just sit back and watch my incredible endeavor

So instead of being a bastard on BuF all night
Learn from the comedy masters and you'll be alright
The only reason you want this thread locked
Is because you took a **** on this once proud cock

If you don't want BuF to be such a ****ty place,
then shut up and participate with a happy face.
All these jokes are only in jest,
they ain't serious so take off the flak vest.
Nobody's flaming no one so just calm your nerves
We ain't dissin' Ice and he AIN'T gettin' served.

We're just having FUN you mother****ers, I sware to god I will pour sulfuric acid in your eye sockets if I ever find one of you!!!!! :mad:

SEE!? a Joke!!! :-):-):-) Be happy! FREON SPEAKS THE TRUTH!

Be creative, mo'f'ers

BobCobb
2nd Mar 2006, 08:33 PM
Is because you took a **** on this once proud cock

Yes, it was lovely thankyou,
Mind if I take another poo?

Peavey
2nd Mar 2006, 09:04 PM
Yes, it was lovely thankyou, Mind if I take another poo

Your skills are worse than a can of Period Blood Soup
Mind getting some new rhymes so you can at least take a poop?
A poop WORTH taking instead of measily rabbit turds?
Broaden your vocabulary and learn some new words.
I got the capabilities to take a shiiittt so colossal
That in a hundred million years it won't just be a fossil,
A shiit so humungous it'll be the size of Pangea
A shiit so loud you'll need an onomatopoeia
An onomatopoeia so long you'll try to spell it and prevail,
It'll register as "Apocalypse" on the Richter Scale


You're about to break down and you're sweatin' so bad,
But I'm going to town, like Homer in the Iliad
Gonna spooge on you with my big Greek Cyclops
Cover you in Feta cheese and eat you with my porkchops
Gonna school you like I'm Socrates or Aristotle,
Because my name is Peavey and I'm goin' FULL THROTTLE,

BITCH

AriTheDog
3rd Mar 2006, 01:11 AM
TWO pages appeared on the internet,
And sorry I could not visit both
And having one browser, long I stood
And hovered my mouse as long as I could
Click HERE if you are UNDER 18;

Then clicked the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was HOT NUDE GIRLS yes i did stare;
Though all the masturbating there
Had worn them really about the same,

And gross that morning in my wastebin lay
Some crumpled moldy crusty tissues turned black.
Oh, I blew my wad that sunny day!
Yet chafing burned in many ways,
I regretted my horrible wank.

I shall be applying lotion with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two links appeared on the internet, and I—
I just stood there touching myself,
And that has made all the difference.

Zarkazm
3rd Mar 2006, 06:58 AM
This is the best BUF thread I've read in a long time.


Banhammeren -- N.; from Norse Mythology: A phallic hammer used by the Norse god Sjwarth Foeskin to strike down the ancient titan of Ice.

ex.: "The titan of Ice had feared the Banhammeren of Sjwarth Foeskin; alas, that was just him."
:lol::tup:

K
3rd Mar 2006, 07:03 AM
Peavey:rockon: :notworthy:

Renegade Retard
3rd Mar 2006, 09:36 AM
*sigh*

Here's my one lame attempt at poetry:

There once was a fellow named Mortey
Who posted on BuF 'til age forty,
His attempt to fart
Created a tart
Which caused Hot Carls to become rather sporty.

Synastren
3rd Mar 2006, 09:48 AM
Page two is superior to page one.

mokeh
3rd Mar 2006, 10:16 AM
Here (http://media.putfile.com/Angry-Ice) is something I whipped up after talking to god!

Ice
3rd Mar 2006, 10:30 AM
:lol: That's genius, mokeh.

Sir_Brizz
3rd Mar 2006, 10:33 AM
There was once a felow named Ice.
Who wasn't incredibly nice.
He whined in a thread,
we all thought we were dead,
then he coined us the word banhammeren.

hyrulian
3rd Mar 2006, 11:27 AM
Am I the only one who really has no idea what is going on here?
Some sort of translation, and maybe a bit of background info on what Ice has to do with all this would maybe make me appreciate this thread's existance just a tad more.
Actually, I have no idea what is going on here either. All I know is that Ari wrote a bunch of posts, a mod locked it, another mod later unlocked it, and now we have lots of posts again, and I still have no idea what is going on. This has got to be the stupidest thread of 2006 so far.

AriTheDog
3rd Mar 2006, 02:19 PM
Here (http://media.putfile.com/Angry-Ice) is something I whipped up after talking to god!

did u ever know that ur my hero

AriTheDog
3rd Mar 2006, 02:44 PM
Oh moderator, lock this thread!
Lock this thread, now one lies dead
One lies dead, a wasted life
A wasted life, too high a price
Too high a price, to look away
To look away, contain dismay
Contain dismay, I hope; I prey
I hope; I prey, for self control
For self control, to reach my goal
To reach my goal, this thread to lock
This thread to lock, yet bumped to top?
Bumped to top, oh moderator
Oh moderator, save me from myself!

Oh MODERATOR! (http://media.putfile.com/Oh-MODERATOR)

mokeh
3rd Mar 2006, 02:50 PM
You have breathed life I never knew existed into my words, much like the lord creating Eve from my spare rib :')

Evil_Cope
3rd Mar 2006, 05:11 PM
Actually i assumed that the thread was originally closed because raptor assumed it was actually an attack on Swarthy. I could be wrong. (hence swarthy then opening it again later, you see?)

If i'm not mistaken, don't some of you cats have and use Fruity loops? ^_^
I smell a collaboration coming on...

Ice
3rd Mar 2006, 07:13 PM
edit: They had your name on them, but they weren't meant as slams. If I did mean them as slams they were pretty weak. I was just trying to be humorous.


I already posted saying I don't mind this thread. Some of the things are funny, some are lame, but it seems a throwback to the older days of BuF. I may have my problems with you and some things you've done but this thread isn't one of them anymore. Again, sorry for the confusion.

sid
4th Mar 2006, 03:21 AM
We need NeoNite to make a comic on this or someone else should do it atleast

PsychoMoggieBagpuss
8th Mar 2006, 06:24 AM
A long unopened doorway,
An almost forgotten key.
A place where few do venture,
So what sparked the memory?

Banhammuren, banhammeren
So swift, so mean.
Banhammuren, banhammeren
This forum you clean.
Banhammuren, banhammeren
Great power you bring.
Banhammuren, banhammeren
Oh hear me sing.

Was it the cry went out for justice,
Was it the cry went out for ice.
Or was it the the dog that stood in the wreckage.
A lyricist and poet of subtle device.

Banhammuren, banhammeren
So swift, so mean.
Banhammuren, banhammeren
This forum you clean.
Banhammuren, banhammeren
Great power you bring.
Banhammuren, banhammeren
Oh hear me sing.

Ode to the banhammern,
A thread from OT that doth glow.
Ode to the banhammern
To the classics, you go.