OMG!! No TP!!!

[Rukee]

You go into the bathroom and your doing your duty there in the middle of a world record bowel movement when the horror hits you as you look at the toilet paper roll....OMG your out!!! ...and there's no spares in the cupboard....OMG.....what do you do now???

[tool]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/toolfan/ByeByeTP.gif

[thewalkingman]

use the Maxipads in the medicine cabinet

[Cap'n Beeb]

Open the window, pull out the screen, grab some of the maple leaves.

[Zxanphorian]

I would never run out in the first place! :p

[Sam_The_Man]

Shoot yourself. You have failed at the simple task of putting loo rolls on your shopping list as soon as there's one roll left, and thereby have failed at life.

If you've managed to run out of bullets as well, then frankly just stick your head in the toilet and drown in your own sh*t. You have only yourself to blame.

[Bean316]

Shoot yourself. You have failed at the simple task of putting loo rolls on your shopping list as soon as there's one roll left, and thereby have failed at life.

If you've managed to run out of bullets as well, then frankly just stick your head in the toilet and drown in your own sh*t. You have only yourself to blame.

Awesome, it's like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure!

[sid]

use water, here in India maximum no. of people use water. Man, im proud to be INDIAN:D

[Cap'n Beeb]

I'd gladly give up TP for a bidet.

[Sam_The_Man]

I'd gladly give up TP for a bidet.

Are you a closet Frenchman, Beeb?

[thewalkingman]

LoL Rukee doesnt know how to use the three seashells

[Twisted Metal]

Just put two pairs of boxer shorts on and hope that the poo doesn't bleed through the fabric. :tup:

Or hope that it's a slider and no wiping is required :tup: x2

[Cap'n Beeb]

Are you a closet Frenchman, Beeb?

Not that I'm aware of. I just like that squeeky clean feeling.

Not to mention I can't stand the French language. ;)

[Nines]

LoL Rukee doesnt know how to use the three seashells

:lol: Good one. :p

[Trynant]

Rukee is an ordinary BuFer in the WC. He suddenly sits up to realize that he is out of toilet paper and there is poop in the toilet.

You are the pooper.

Play as Rukee in a excremental epic thriller. There are so many choices. Do you try to get it off on the floor, and try to get out the window before nobody notices? Better make the right decisions or else Rukee's depression/coffee meter will go down. Do you use the mop? DO YOU FLUSH?

rated F for fecal.

[Sahkolihaa]

LoL Rukee doesnt know how to use the three seashellsLOL

[Rambowjo]

I will place something infront of the door, block the window, and then live until I die, all alone in the bathroom, until I die from hunger!

[Selerox]

LoL Rukee doesnt know how to use the three seashells

Genius movie :lol:

[K.Y.A.G]

Back in my day, we couldn't afford paper towel, so we used our hands. And then we ate it, because we couldn't afford food.

[Breadtruck]

i call it gum wrappers

[[UM]theswarm]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/toolfan/ByeByeTP.gif


So that's how tool deals with Chrons. :D

[Iron Archer]

tool just takes some of the gauze out of his ass and uses that

[[Ci]Mazza]

I'd find morety's thread on his genius manouver at work where he moved from one crapper to another when it was out of paper but i really can't be bothered at 4:21am.

Suffice to say, it just involved not being a pathetic human. Maybe someone can manage it ;)

[GeneticFreak]

Yeah use water :P Indonesians use water too and modern houses have sprayers for it :)

[Freon]

Shoot yourself. You have failed at the simple task of putting loo rolls on your shopping list as soon as there's one roll left, and thereby have failed at life.

If you've managed to run out of bullets as well, then frankly just stick your head in the toilet and drown in your own sh*t. You have only yourself to blame.
What if this scene is talking place at work?
It has happened to me countless times. Luckily, I can open the door and grab some tissues usually used to dry hands.

[Al]

Yeah use water :P Indonesians use water too and modern houses have sprayers for it :)

How do you dry your ass? Or do you just walk around with wet ass all day?

[Rukee]

I`m still trying to figure out how to use water, whaddya dip your ass in a bowl and let it soak overnight?? :hmm:

[Rambowjo]

They stick a showerhead of their ass! Or something like that I think! Or otherwise some genious modification to a toilet, where they attached a showerhead INSIDE the toilet! But I don't think we will find such stuff inside Capt.Toilet xD

[Rukee]

wholey crap you`d need a pressure washer!! :B

[K.Y.A.G]

Man. I bet that feels good. Does it, GF?

Mmmm...

[BobCobb]

You've never seen a bidet.
Some people are so uncivilized.
Hurrumph!

I "riced" out my bidet, it has flashing led lights and plays slayer whilst it cleans my bum. ;)

[Rambowjo]

http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/3731/tac5ly.jpg

Now that's how xD

[Rukee]

Butt Munchers. :B

[Rambowjo]

I just googled a bidet! It looks pretty smart, but I am gonna be pretty scared, first time I sit and use such weird thing.. I hope the water is warm! I really do! Otherwise, I do really pitty you people using these.. erhm... inventions!

[Rukee]

WTF?? So you get off the toliet and get on this thing??
http://www.cadetstuff.org/images/iace_1970_bidet.jpg

[BobCobb]

Oh yea, you know the routine Rukkee. ;)

Get off one bitch, right onto another. :)

[Rambowjo]

Oki that one, does really look like I could enjoy that! I bet they are pretty expensive >.<?

[BobCobb]

I'm sure you could get the "hobo" model bidet for say, the same price as the "economy" toilet. Don't quote me.

[Valium]

Yep, and i think there is supposed to be a little towel rail lower down so one can dry themselves... and they are usually soo much lower to the ground, which makes it difficult to even sit on.

Bidet's tend to be a more European thing, with the hot weather and all; when i went to Cyprus we weren't allowed to put the loo paper down the toilet because their sewage system cannot handle it... so a watery wash or a bin full of stinky used loo roll?

[Rambowjo]

I'd choose the washing! It actually sounds pretty cool! I am gonna get one of those... when I move out from my current home!

[Rukee]

So what`s the deal?? Is there a bar of soap and basicly it`s just an ass shower?? No-ones mentioned soap....there is soap... right? :hmm:

[Valium]

I'm sure there's no soap involved, wouldn't it feel weird to lather up ones backside to a nice frothy foamy consistance? I wonder if the spray has a variable pressure setting, for maximum backside blastage?

A frothy, bubbly and watery fart anyone?

[Peavey]

Are you a closet Frenchman, Beeb?

More like a water-closet Frenchmen ;) HURRR!

Speaking of Bidets, I've heard many a tale of Americans sitting on them the wrong way in foreign countries and having their junk shot with cold water.

[BITE_ME]

LoL Rukee doesnt know how to use the three seashells

LOL


I use one of the girls I saw in a Japanese video last week.

[B]

Just put two pairs of boxer shorts on and hope that the poo doesn't bleed through the fabric. :tup:

Or hope that it's a slider and no wiping is required :tup: x2

Why not just use one of the boxers to wipe your black spider and wear just wear the other. :tup:

[Peavey]

LOL


I use one of the girls I saw in a Japanese video last week.

I'd like to use the girl in your avatar.

and not just for wiping :mwink:

But I'm sure I'm not the first to say that.

[NeoNite]

What, use her as your avatar? Yeah, I'm sure you're not the first peavey.

[Valium]

Eww i just had a thought... what if the a person using the aforementioned bidet did not sit on the bidet at the right angle.. would the water squirt past ones bottom and up into ones own face?

I have heard of kids using them for hand washing, as they are at kiddie height... i think the make good 'shoe washers' myself.

Anyway, you just HAVE to read this article from poopreport with a step by step guide to using a bidet:

http://www.poopreport.com/Consumer/Content/Bidet/bidet.html

now thats nasty :lol:

[Rukee]

They say to use it along with, after wiping, not instead of.

[BobCobb]

Which begs the question, why use either? ;)

[Rambowjo]

Gimme gimme gimme :D! It looks so much inviting this stuff! I want one! Naaaw >.<

[BobCobb]

Woah man. Hold your horses. You don't know what your missing out on. My arse is cleaner now than ever, and I can spit at the people on the bus now, knowing for sure that I am more civilized!