I'm putting stuff up my butt! [Archive]

tool

29th Jul 2005, 08:30 PM

I'm getting kinda worried to, it can be unsafe if you dont poop after a certain amount of days.

I just got off all these medications I was taking for Chromes Disease, and the medicene was why I am so constipated and it was making me sick. Chromes disease is where your immune system attacks you instines and causes a lot of severe pain. Right now I am only on steriods which have been making me feel great, but I am just constipated.

thewalkingman

29th Jul 2005, 08:39 PM

http://www.woodburysawandmower.com/images/auger.jpg

ilkman

29th Jul 2005, 09:19 PM

http://www.woodburysawandmower.com/images/auger.jpg
Sometimes I wonder what goes through your head...

Besides, that is much to inefficient.

http://www.hanson-inc.com/insight/0502/images/drill.jpg

Wookiee

29th Jul 2005, 09:32 PM

If you don't poop in 5 days you explode. Oh, the mess that will be made... I hope you have Lysol :(

BITE_ME

29th Jul 2005, 10:45 PM

You should change your name to Stool. :)
You should try the liquid stuff. Some Radio station here in the SF bay area. Gave way to much of the stuff to a DJ guy. Then put him on the streats of SF to find a bathroom.
I think he drank 1/2 a bottle, and all he needed was a 1 tablespoon. :D

Bean316

29th Jul 2005, 10:50 PM

Ah, BuF is back to normal. I was really worried about your bum tool, and its apparent lack of malcontent. Glad to see things are swinging again :)

Justin286

29th Jul 2005, 10:54 PM

Try drinking some epsom salts mixed into water. Or try some senna pod tea.
That should loosen loosen you up some.

O.S.T

29th Jul 2005, 11:08 PM

only 2 days until the pressure in your guts is high enough and you produce diamonds

SomewhatSuicidal

29th Jul 2005, 11:42 PM

I know it's an obvious question, but are you drinking lots of water?

Original9

29th Jul 2005, 11:42 PM

Stop eating so much cheese.

BillyBadAss

29th Jul 2005, 11:52 PM

So how much fruits and vegtables do you eat a day? You should eat a lot since your ass is ****ed. YOu should also take Metamucil. The powder drink is the best. Makes me **** like a champ when I need to and it stanks up to all hell. :D

Choose your weapon:

http://www.metamucil.com/images/products/4_2_image_calc.jpg

http://www.metamucil.com/images/products/4_1_image.jpg

http://www.metamucil.com/images/products/4_4_powder_pic.jpg

http://www.metamucil.com/images/products/4_3_wafer_pic.jpg

Iron Archer

30th Jul 2005, 12:46 AM

just use one of those shower heads with the hose, unscrew the shower part, and give yourself an enema... hehe... either that or a garden hose, though that might be too cold...

SomewhatSuicidal

30th Jul 2005, 12:50 AM

Ewww Deadpool said enema. *schoolgirl giggle*

ilkman

30th Jul 2005, 02:06 AM

Ewww Deadpool said enema. *schoolgirl giggle*

Someone say enema?

Bend over!

http://www.mccoy.army.mil/ReadingRoom/Triad/07262002/images/336th_firefighters_300x.jpg

Azura

30th Jul 2005, 06:08 AM

Tool, here's the song just for you : King Missile - Up my ass

tool

30th Jul 2005, 08:30 AM

thanks guys i'll try the hose up my ass idea I think :D

BesigedB

30th Jul 2005, 09:03 AM

Getting enemas done is quite relaxing when performed using a machine at a health spa (rather than a hose)

DeeperShade

30th Jul 2005, 09:20 AM

Getting enemas done is quite relaxing when performed using a machine at a health spa (rather than a hose)

And there it is for all eternity people. BesigedB enjoys having his backdoor manflap flooded with a torrent of liquid dispensed by strange men in unnamed Health Spa's...

30th Jul 2005, 09:38 AM

Hey tool, howcome you always feel the need to share your butt adventures with us?

tool

30th Jul 2005, 09:44 AM

Hey tool, howcome you always feel the need to share your butt adventures with us?

Morety is getting old and won't be around forever, someone has got to take his place. I'm a young man with butt problems in training.

8-4-7-2

30th Jul 2005, 10:03 AM

I don't think Morety is going to die just yet. At least not of natural causes

thewalkingman

30th Jul 2005, 10:49 AM

Getting enemas done is quite relaxing when performed using a machine at a health spa (rather than a horse (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8589349/))

fixed Þ

Freon

30th Jul 2005, 11:26 AM

Tool, you should drop computer sciences (or whatever it is you're studying) and become a proctologist, you probably now know enough to open your own practice :p

SomewhatSuicidal

30th Jul 2005, 04:42 PM

Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I thought there were federal laws prohibiting this!?

Bean316

30th Jul 2005, 04:48 PM

You know, I wish one day tool had this open, with one of his responses half-typed in his window, but is distracted. Then his dad comes in the room, and just before he minimizes, he catches something like "So I stuck the whisk up my butt"...

How would tool's pop react? Would he be like "TOOL, WHAT THE F*CK??!" Or would he never say anything...silently buying all new silverware for himself?

.altan

30th Jul 2005, 04:54 PM

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I thought there were federal laws prohibiting this!?

States' rights :mad:

Freon

30th Jul 2005, 05:31 PM

"TOOL, WHAT THE F*CK??!"
The idea of the father calling his own son by his internet handler, "Tool", made me laugh so hard that my ribs hurt.
That, and the fact that I picture Tool's dad as an older version of the Tool we all know, and kind of love, but with a bald spot.

Peavey

30th Jul 2005, 10:40 PM

The idea of the father calling his own son by his internet handler, "Tool", made me laugh so hard that my ribs hurt.
That, and the fact that I picture Tool's dad as an older version of the Tool we all know, and kind of love, but with a bald spot.

I never would've caught that if you didn't mention it, but that's ****ing hilarious :lol:

and the reason tool likes sharing his butt adventures with us is because he is a butt-spelunker :)

L_S

30th Jul 2005, 11:04 PM

this thread is worthless without pics... :o

thewalkingman

30th Jul 2005, 11:12 PM

this thread is worthless without pics... :o

http://www.midwestgastro.com/patient_education/Colon_6.gif

L_S

30th Jul 2005, 11:18 PM

hmmmm...I'm no doctor but I think we found the problem....

http://home.hawaii.rr.com/mackt/toolsproblem.jpg

PsychoMoggieBagpuss

30th Jul 2005, 11:31 PM

lol :lol:

Juggalo Kyle

31st Jul 2005, 12:21 AM

did you mistake that yellow sponge for a hunk of cheese? honest mistake :P

JonAzz

31st Jul 2005, 12:23 AM

:lol:

Dude what have we said about sticking annoying animated characters up your ass? :P

Bean316

31st Jul 2005, 02:20 AM

The idea of the father calling his own son by his internet handler, "Tool", made me laugh so hard that my ribs hurt.
That, and the fact that I picture Tool's dad as an older version of the Tool we all know, and kind of love, but with a bald spot.

I thought about that. I was typing it, and I thought "Wait, what is tool's RL name?" (I think it's Dwayne, right? Or not?) But then I thought "F*ck it", if anyone notices, it should make them laugh.

PsychoMoggieBagpuss

31st Jul 2005, 03:59 AM

Aegeri

31st Jul 2005, 04:09 AM

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v305/Aegeri/gerbil1.jpg

tool

31st Jul 2005, 10:03 AM

I thought about that. I was typing it, and I thought "Wait, what is tool's RL name?" (I think it's Dwayne, right? Or not?) But then I thought "F*ck it", if anyone notices, it should make them laugh.

Its Kyle :D

I still haven't been able to poop yet, i'm wondering if this should require a trip to the emergancy room now, its starting to get pretty painful.

ZenPirate

31st Jul 2005, 10:21 AM

Lemmiwinks!!

MrSmiles

31st Jul 2005, 09:57 PM

i miss too much when i go out of town.

and i'd consider calling a doctor soon

edit: i just droped a few ;)

1st Aug 2005, 03:04 AM

How would tool's pop react? Would he be like "TOOL, WHAT THE F*CK??!" Or would he never say anything...silently buying all new silverware for himself?
Maybe it runs in the family. :D

Its Kyle :D
I still haven't been able to poop yet, i'm wondering if this should require a trip to the emergancy room now, its starting to get pretty painful.
Kyle?! WTF?! Then who's Dwayne? :con:
Did you take a dump allready or is it still clogged in your endpipe?

BITE_ME

1st Aug 2005, 03:09 AM

Yes. Go see the doctor.

bobtheking

1st Aug 2005, 04:01 AM

pills and drills after only 5 days?

how often does a normal person ****? i **** like once every 2 days, if i halved my rate of ****ting to go 5 days without it i don't think there would be too much trouble.

tool

1st Aug 2005, 09:43 AM

Maybe it runs in the family. :D

Kyle?! WTF?! Then who's Dwayne? :con:
Did you take a dump allready or is it still clogged in your endpipe?

Dwayne Dibleh is what Myrimidion gave me when he saw my picture. Dwayne is a character from the U.K. show red dwarf. Myr says I look similar to him from that picture. Which in reality I don't, the picture just really sucks and is pretty old. :D

I can take poops, but they are small, dry and really hurt. I'm starting to get bleeding too when I go. I'm gonna see the doctor that is taking care of my Chromes disease tomorrow, so i'll find out more.

Rukee

1st Aug 2005, 09:45 AM

Just go eat at Taco Bell, you`ll thank me in the morning. :B

1st Aug 2005, 09:50 AM

If that fails you can always use this:

http://nawtythings.com/graf/anal/al1.jpg

:tup:

Bean316

1st Aug 2005, 11:41 AM

Chromes? I thought it was Chron's? Does that mean you are like pooping out 26" spinners?

http://customwheel.com/custom_wheels/images/typhoon.jpg

Rukee

1st Aug 2005, 12:18 PM

...might wanna sit on a bigger toilet. :B

ilkman

1st Aug 2005, 12:45 PM

Chromes? I thought it was Chron's? Does that mean you are like pooping out 26" spinners?

http://customwheel.com/custom_wheels/images/typhoon.jpg

Pretty spiffy. So when standing still they give the 'illusion' that hes still going.

MrSmiles

1st Aug 2005, 01:09 PM

we go from tool putting stuff up his butt to chrome spinners.....

i love BuF

Syri

1st Aug 2005, 03:47 PM

now we just need to get to tool stuffing chrome spinners up his butt...

Symbolikal

1st Aug 2005, 04:08 PM

Isn't it Crohn's?

tool

1st Aug 2005, 04:20 PM

maybe it is spelt crohns, either way it is a real nasty disease.

One of my mom's friends had it and had to have three surgerys to fix damage caused by the disease.

Azura

1st Aug 2005, 05:54 PM

Damn, you sound like you're an unpleasant time and you're probably younger. I hope you find that fix you need to make life easier to live.

Edit : Newsgroups allow access to a lot of discussions of which some are health related. Don't hesitate to go on Usenet for feedback on possible treatment and to communicate with other sufferer's.

tool

1st Aug 2005, 06:14 PM

I'm on 40mg of steriods right now which which pretty much make the pain and suffering go away completely. I was on two other medications but my doctor told me over the phone to get off them since they cuased some nasty side effects that i'm still recovering from.

Azura

1st Aug 2005, 06:20 PM

Sounds like you have a good doctor. I'd still try to go on Usenet to see if you can get in touch with other sufferers. A program such as Freeagent can be used for this.

http://www.forteinc.com/

BITE_ME

1st Aug 2005, 07:46 PM

I'm starting to get bleeding too when I go.

NP. Your just having your period.

thewalkingman

1st Aug 2005, 10:48 PM

I'm on 40mg of steriods right now....

I take it all the ceramic toilets in your abode are being replaced with solid steel bowls?

tool

3rd Aug 2005, 09:38 AM

I finally found out what is wrong with me. Its the crohns disease that is doing it. It tricks your body into thinking you have to goto the bathroom all the time. My doctor gave me a new prescription to try that will hopefully help get rid of that problem. I haven't been able to sleep for over a week now because of this, i'm so tired and misreable that at this point I would rather just die. I am also waiting for approval from my health insurence company for this drug that you have to goto a hospital for to get, they give it to you by a I.V. and it takes about 3 to 5 hours.

Tomorrow I get my ass checked yet again and a doctor is going to have to take a tissue sample and run more tests. I may need a surgery, but that is a pretty small chance, so no worries about that happening. And later in the future i'm going to need my whole colon checked.

Pray you never ever get this disease guys, or atleast get it at the kind of severe level I have it. It will completely ruin your life. I have the worst type of crohns disease someone can get and right now my life is pretty much ran by it and the medications I have to take to control it.

seagreenbeetle

3rd Aug 2005, 11:46 AM

good luck tool, im rootin for ya. its hard to believe, but im really looking forward to the post in which you say: omg! i shat! i really really shat! a good one too!:lol:

Renegade Retard

3rd Aug 2005, 11:52 AM

Good luck tool. Crohn's Disease runs in my family, so I know what you're going through.

tool

3rd Aug 2005, 12:07 PM

good luck tool, im rootin for ya. its hard to believe, but im really looking forward to the post in which you say: omg! i shat! i really really shat! a good one too!:lol:

I've been pooping but they aren't real ones. Just small, I had a few big ones though yesterday, but it isn't pretty. It is very painful and sucks when you have the feeling that you have to go every 15 minutes.

Renegade Retard, that sucks, has anyone in your family had to have surgery to correct problems from it? I've heard of people getting it so bad that they have had to have surgery. I have it pretty bad myself that I may need surgery.

Renegade Retard

3rd Aug 2005, 12:16 PM

My mother has it. She had to have surgery several years ago. She may need to do it again soon.

My uncle has it. I'm not sure if he's had surgery or not, but I know he's basically in constant pain from it.

It's quite a difficult disease, and can be extremely painful. We've had to take my mother to the hospital on several instances because she's been in too much pain to move. I believe it's more difficult in men.

Edit - and AFAIK there's no "cure" for it. The surgery is to relieve some of the symptoms for a while, and to remove damaged tissue the disease has caused.

My understanding is that the disease slowly destroys parts of your intestines. This is why you've had your arse troubles, since your intestines can't function properly. The removal of parts of the damaged colon help with some of the symptoms, but that doesn't mean the symptoms can't arise again.

Bean316

3rd Aug 2005, 12:19 PM

I really don't even know what's going on anymore.

tool

3rd Aug 2005, 12:35 PM

I really don't even know what's going on anymore.

Basically life sucks.

Thanks for the info Renegade Retard. I knew there wasn't a cure for it, sucks that there isn't. My understanding is that there is virtually no research for this disease, it just isn't something that money isnt put into which is probably why there isn't a cure. I am a bit lucky in that the doctor who is treating me, the two nurses who assist him, one of them is a aunt of mine, and the other is just super cool and stays in touch with me by phone to see how I am doing. I am going to one of the best places in Washington State and infact the country for Crohns disease and just "butt problems' period, so that has really helped.

[UM]theswarm

3rd Aug 2005, 01:51 PM

Wait... so your aunt is poking around your ass? :mwink:

Capt.Toilet

3rd Aug 2005, 02:21 PM

Good luck with that tool. Just another disease added to the million others that could one day wipe out mankind :(

On a brighter note, thewalkingman aka buddylee you are one crazy bastard you know that :)