My aunt sent me a racist email disguised as a history test.

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In the original email, the questions all had D) Muslim male extremists between the age of 17 and 40, amongst various other "obviously wrong" answers. Having grown tired of such idiocy from her, I decided to inform her of the correct answers. Let us begin!

These answers are all incorrect, and I've taken the liberty to fill in the correct ones:

1:

1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:

Ron Jeremy

2:

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:

A pair of rogue CIA operatives.

3:

In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:

The original cast of Sesame Street.

4: During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

King Duncan of Scotland. (And if you don't know who that is, shame on you.)

5: In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

A discarded sack of Alpo brand dog food and a leaky water faucet.

6: In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old
American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by:

Pirates. Duh... come on, cruise ship, hijinks at sea... yep, pirates. (Evidence that pirates are greater than ninjas.)

7: In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to
rescue passengers was murdered by:

Flipper.

8: In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

GI Joe. It was a "training exercise" gone "wrong".

9: In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

Disgruntled janitors.

10: In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

Ebola monkeys.

11: On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take
out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US
Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers.Thousands of
people were killed by:

Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods With a Thousand Young.

12: In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

It's fragile ego.

13: In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

Rival reporter Trisha Takanawa of Quahog News.

Should she reply back with an email consisting of OMG WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA HURRR, I will gladly post it, because her idiocy is known in my family to be god damn hilarious, and I wish to share it with you lot.
 

Sam_The_Man

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beerbaron said:
Pirates. Duh... come on, cruise ship, hijinks at sea... yep, pirates. (Evidence that pirates are greater than ninjas.)

If pirates are so great, why do they all have missing eyes, hands and/or legs? If they were so bloody awesome wouldn't they be able to prevent people from dismembering them?
 

SiN-BiN

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Aug 21, 2004
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Sam_The_Man said:
If pirates are so great, why do they all have missing eyes, hands and/or legs? If they were so bloody awesome wouldn't they be able to prevent people from dismembering them?

You should see the other guy. :eek:
 

Airmoran

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Swarthy_Foreskin said:
I think it is your patriotic duty to compile an email of crappy things that white christians have done.

'Cuz we all know the opposite of Muslim Extremist Males are White Christians. ;)
 

O.S.T

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Swarthy_Foreskin said:
I think it is your patriotic duty to compile an email of crappy things that white christians have done.
:rolleyes:
dude, it has to fit in one email
 

sweeny

stick that in you phife and smoke it!!!
Nov 29, 2002
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beerbaron said:
They get drunk alot, thus the dismemberment. Ninjas aren't even allowed to drink, so pfft to them I say. PFFT!

but a ninja would kick a pirates ass any day

and dam my skim reading crapness
first time i read it i read white christmas not white christians and wondered why it made no sence ;) :eek: