this is cracking me up

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jenny?

i am teh <img src="http://forums.beyondunreal.com/
Feb 2, 2000
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massholia
First off if anybody's offended I'm sorry, but my simple mind has been amused so I am sharing.
www.askjesus.org

I ran it through the PU forums and here's what it came up with.

"Since I canst't beget Q3A to run for longer than 30 time-cubits upon mine oracle, I haven't beenst able to speak it from the mountain exactly wherefore sinners hate it so much. I, by the powers of Grayskull, wast hoping maybe somebody else hadst some luck with it and couldst maybe speak it from the mountain me about it."

"Playest upon mine server, Holy Beer from |elite| unreal://128.208.57.212"

-Jenny becomes an LPB tomorrow

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Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown..
 

Temporary Account

Temporarily Permanent
Jan 25, 2000
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cosmicmonstersinc.com
Yes! It's so awsome! I posted a link to my "jesusified" clan page in spyders thread. It's a freakin' riot!! And the music! Oh man...it's great! ROFLMAO

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-[CMi]Soul-Crusher
www.cosmicmonstersinc.com
 
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BloW__Smoke

Guest
Damn i tried the deathtest, now i now when i gonna die and how /~unreal/ubb/html/frown.gif

1 By an horrlible car accident (38%)
2 By aliend abduction (32%)
3 Drug Abuse (18%)

Well it seem there for me plauzible way to die, o before i forgot, it told me i gonna die on 27 march 2037 at an age of 67.

Well now i not have to worry about my retirement afterall /~unreal/ubb/html/wink.gif
 

CHRYSt

You can't help that. We're all mad here.
Jan 14, 2000
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www.crawlspaceradio.com
I haven't found Jesus, but I did find Jesu. He's my new god, and he sits to the left of Ugmah (the MountainHaüs God of Fire) who sits atop the arserock, and across from Navlar (The god of Navel Lint)
I found Jesu when he stuck in my foot last week. I still have to find out what he's the god of, but I'm thinking he's probably just a generic messiah.

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"Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM
 
S

Selerox[PuF]

Guest
Cool site! /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

I saw a site that translated pages into redneck, cockney etc. Can't remember the address though...

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PuF: Come play dying.

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Dg3Nr8

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Mar 28, 2000
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Smoke, I'm gonna die when I'm 67 too. But the good news is I have 12% chance of it being from alcoholism and a 6% chance of alien abduction. The other ways of death didnt sound too fun though.
 
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osirus

Guest
that jesus is a funny guy...

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So what if i suck, i do a damn good job sucking....

MyU|osirus|PuF
 
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BloW__Smoke

Guest
Ye, but i don't wanna die by a horrible car accident, i choose the alien abduction, i then i gonna learn the ways of THE FORCE, and come back to earth as Darth BloW and frag you all away with my Jedi alien powers with UT and become the ultimate DM player mhuuhahahaha, ooops, now i wake up again /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

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World Peace thrue Cyber-violence......

So FRAG ON !!!!!!!!!!
 

jenny?

i am teh <img src="http://forums.beyondunreal.com/
Feb 2, 2000
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*bump*

Hehe just trying something. /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

-Jenny has lost her mind

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UpYours

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Nov 24, 1999
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You guys are ridiculous thinking Jesus ever talked like that...lmao.
Your humor is at the expense of old English....thats the way they talked.
This is what Christ talked....like this anyway:
"íéùãç íéîåñøô


äàåôø éçðåîì ïåìéîä

íééàåôø íéøéëæîì ,úåéçàì ,íéàôåøì àéä äáåè äøåùá äàåôø éçðåîì ïåìéîä úòôåä
éáäåà ìëìå úåàéøáä éúåøéùì íé÷÷æðì ,äàåôøì íéèðãåèñì ,íéìåç éúáá ìäðî éãáåòìå
.úéøáòä ïåùìä
éùðà éôá ïä úåáø úåéæòåì íéìéî úåùîùî ,øçà íåçú ìëáî øúåé éìåà ,äàåôøä íåçúá
,äéøèñéä ,ñå÷ñéã ,äééñôåéá ,äéâøìà ,äéâåìåðåîéà ;äøåùä ïî íéçøæà éôá ïä òåö÷î".
And Chryst....you need professional help son.
Seriously. No offense....just trying to help. /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif
 
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ImagoX

Guest
Yeah! Check out THESE Death Test stats!


Cancer (23%)
Heart Attack (15%)
Alien Abduction (15%)
Contagious Disease (6%)
Auto-Fellatio (6%)
Homicide (5%)
Horrible Accident (5%)
Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation (5%)

Wow.. I have a 5% chance of ever attaining the flexability to BLOW MYSELF!! I'll never play UT or leave the house ever again! Wahoooooooo!

-ImagoX



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"If you ever drop your keys in a river of molten lava, let 'em go because, man, they're gone."
-Jack Handey
 
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Psychomoggiebagpuss

Guest
/me is unfortunate for having a vivid imagination....auto-fellatio?!?!?!

/me goes away and lies down



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psychomoggiebagpuss
AKA P.M.Bagpuss[PuF]
AKA Armadillo Dragon of the -=UDIC=-
Wielder of the Sacred Blackrock Baguette
"If there is anything bigger than my ego around here, I want it caught and shot now"
"..I have a dream, of little black girls and little white girls playing with each other. Lets make it happen." - Ali G
 

7thPixel

Dot Com CEO
Feb 15, 2000
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I jesusfied some porn sites, that thing rocks!!

Oh, btw, it works on forums too /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

My death test said I was going to die on April 18, 2000.

Man, isn't that next week?

That sucks

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7thPixel.net

[This message has been edited by 7thPixel (edited 04-11-2000).]
 
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BloW__Smoke

Guest
Now that i'm home i askjesus some website (PU) etc, and almost became a believer now.

I a'm happy now, i know that i meet jesus in 2037 due to the earlyer mentioned way that i gonna die. Now i smile when i die, and have many deaths already experienced. (thanx to many PuFfers /~unreal/ubb/html/wink.gif ).

I also need to preach now, only my english prayers are not so good, but i'll try

Ashes to ashes.....
Dust to Dust ......
if you don't use you'r flak cannon.....
Its gonna Rust.. !!!!!

I had a vision now, i so me with an saintring above my head, listing to the music of jesus, on top of the body's of my disiples who i fragged in an heavenly game of DM-Heaven, an map created by our father who is in heaven, specially for us believers.
long live the messiah (oops wrong game)