View Full Version : The Starship Eternaty : The Next Mission
3rd Jan 2001, 06:59 PM
Science Officer D-Stroya reporting, the eternaty has just been in to dock for repairs after the lorg wars, but is now once again battle-worthy, and will be leaving soon
We must now re-gather our crew, and embark on our next mission
right, all further posts in log form please, if you don't know what all this is about, do a search for "eternaty" to get the idea
3rd Jan 2001, 07:08 PM
Starlog: Good to be back.
Security Cheif Beerbaron reporting for mischief making and chaos generating sir! Now, where are the rest of us...
3rd Jan 2001, 07:18 PM
[RSU]8-4-7-2 tol' me to report for duty as ships tactical officer. Don't know why, but he did threaten me with a big stick.
3rd Jan 2001, 07:23 PM
First Officer's log Star date 55624.1
After First Officer Commander Vortex sacrificed his life in the battle with Species 8472, Captain Cascade appointed me to his successor. I hope I can fullfil all the excpectations in me.
We also discovered a double of me on the ship. He turned out to be one of the guards on the prisonship where my people kept me. Unfortunatley we were forced to kill him.
This is the final split with my species. There is no turning back now. This is a new chapter of my life, so why bother with this?
The Eternaty is save in the Utopia Planitia Space Docks of Mars. Repairs are underway, so I'm now heading for the mess hall where Commander Vortex's corpse is kept in a torpedo tube. Funeral will start in 1 hour...
3rd Jan 2001, 10:05 PM
Medical underling Merlin reporting w00t
all I know is first aid unfortunatly "Are you pregnant?" (Sorry inside joke you wouldn't understand)
4th Jan 2001, 07:45 AM
I'm still drifting about outside cargo ship Fusion. Life support ran out days ago, and am now in suspension (full of anti-ice-crystallisation chemicals aka the cheap booze supplied on Fusion, suit pressurised with helium (air has liquefied)) and getting bored.
4th Jan 2001, 12:36 PM
Not much is happening on board yet. The Captain is trying to find his script and 8472 is down in the cargo decks, attempting to find some fluffy dice for the Bridge.
I'm not entirely sure when we'll be leave StarDock, but I hope I have a chance to find a revolving chair before we do.. This wooden stool is killing my back.
A few minutes ago we received a message from someone called Kilham but I'm eating my Pot Noodles at the moment so he'll have to wait. I hope it isnt urgent. Maybe I should tell 8472 but I really dont want to hinder him in his quest for the dice.
Oh well.. I'm off to find something to wash these damned pot noodles down. The sooner we find a cook the better.
Ship TO , DeeperShade signing off
4th Jan 2001, 05:22 PM
former (late) pokemon first officer suddenly feeling rather nostalgic :(. My extra senses are telling me the Eternaty is up and running again. Oh well, I'm sure they'll enjoy themselves.
/me waits to get fed more grapes
4th Jan 2001, 05:51 PM
Tactical Officers log
The former pokemon first officer appeared on deck.. I immediately put the ship and crew on red alert. While they were playing that game (getting blown up by Russian Tanks and such like) I knocked Vortex out and put him in the brig. No more pokemon today thank god.
4th Jan 2001, 06:24 PM
I woke up this morning, remembered about the peep I put in the brig.. Upon inspection I noted that he wasnt there.. there is also Trixy, the ships computer, shows no record of him being on board..
This is most puzzling.. I've run an analysis on the pot noodles and my suspision was confirmed... they were drugged.
I dont know whether this was a practical joke or a serious attempt on my life but they definately had an halluciangenitc (spelling is terrible ;) effect on me.. I believe 8472 did it as a 'welcome aboard' prank.. I'm now off to crap in his underwear drawer.
DeeperShade signing off *fzzt*
The revenge did not go according to plan.. The smell from 8472's underwear drawer overpowered that of my crap.. Must think of a better revenge
DeeperShade signing off *fzzt*
5th Jan 2001, 02:37 PM
Starlog: Spaghetti is good...
Hmm, not much activity to cause a need for wanton destruction and carnage... damn. And arent we missing a good portion of our old crew? Once we get the ship to 100% and the rest of our crew back, where are we going?
5th Jan 2001, 02:39 PM
First Officer's log Stardate 54785.5
Commander Vortex's funeral will start soon. I didn't see many of the crew yet. Most important is, that I didn't see Captain Cascade in days. Seems they all enjoy those hot girls in the spacedock. But I can't blame them after one your of holochicks only.
I think I will get some pizza till more people come here. Damn, I can't stand replicated pizza. But I still have that 200 pizza I hided in some cargobay during our visit on Caperia Prime. I swear, if someone touched them I will feed him to the Pokemon!
I also heard that our new Tactical Officer had a meeting with Commander Vortex's ghost. Hehe, so the drugs I but in his noodles worked. I hope he isn't mad on me now. It's just Starfleet tradition to greet the n00bs on the ships with something *ahem* 'special'.
On my way to the forgotten cargobay I stoped at my quarters form a poop. Strangely some of my underware was scattered over the gound. A quick check of my security cams shows that it was DeeperShade. mhhhh...
I will think a bit about approbriate revenge. Perhaps I will 'edit' one of his erotic holodeck programs... ah..the possiblities are endless
-end of log - going for pizza
5th Jan 2001, 03:22 PM
Tactical Officers log
I am entering into my log an official complaint about the ships holograms.. During my usual 'encounter' with the holodeck, the 3 holograms that I had active went beserk and damn near ripped the 'thing' off. It'll be out of action for weeks. This is very distressing, especially with the 3 nexian female ambassidors comming aboard next week..
Oh and the computer reported something about Warp Drive malfunction, explosion iminent. I sent 8472 down to have a look.
6th Jan 2001, 12:21 PM
Tactical Officers log
All crew report to stations. Explosion detected in warp core. 8472 feared dead. This is really bad news.. He was meant to be doing the cooking tonight.
The shield generator has been compromised, weapons systems are offline, and the string has snapped on the fluffy dice. All in all this means we are a sitting duck but we do have a classier bridge.
Worst of all, We are down to our last After Eight mint.. But everyones too polite to take it.
The USS Essessesses is the nearest ship to us. I'm sending out a distress signal on all known frequencies and in all known languages... including welsh.
I dont know how were going to survive this one.. The only person onboard with engineering knowledge is the ships cat, tiddles, and thats only because he once got stuck in the warp core when it was down for maintenance..
DeeperShade out... *fzzt*
6th Jan 2001, 01:05 PM
Mortally Challenged Lowlifes log
Stardate : do we have dates up here?
OK, that was sore. Looks like I haven't got this interdimensional travel thing worked out fully yet. Forgot to make myself invisible when I visited the Eternaty. Because of that, one of the new officers knocked me out and threw me into the brig. It was only matter of time before I floated out of the place but I've this huge bump on my head and my bulb hasn't been watered for a while. I'm going to find out who that was attacked me and get revenge on him. Ha, he'll be sorry when he wakes up finding his qaurters have been filled with feces!
6th Jan 2001, 01:17 PM
First Officer's log Stardate 45458.666
Fear the satanic date!
TO DeeperShade rang out of the sweetest dream I ever had, screaming manically about an imminent warp core breach, and asked if I could have a look at it. Bah! I'm the First Officer, and can't do all the hard work. I'm too lazy and old for that crap. But as we still don't have a Chief Engineer and I felt bored I decided to fix it.
Note to myself: Get more personell from the space dock
When I came to Engineering I noticed that we only had 5 minutes to live. But an old veteran like me doesn't panic. I took some loose tool and crawled into the chefries tube next to the core. A brief look at the consoles confirmed my worst expectation. The warp plasma cooler had a phase variane of 0.2456, causing a feedback loop in the antimatter injection device. This destabilized the containment field reactor. In other words. We were in deep ****!
Finally the basic enginering lessons I visited on Academy (of course only to meet some gorgeous girls) payed off. After excaclty 4 minutes and 55 seconds, the problem was corrected, but the damage is severe.
I also found the cause of the problem. A pokemon ate one of the plasma conducters. I can't believe this critters are back. I immediately feeded it with replicated pizza resulting in instant death
As the inernal com is down, I will now head to the bridge and find out what's going on up there...
6th Jan 2001, 01:42 PM
Tactical Officers log
Almost all systems are damaged.. None of the crew are hurt.. except for the cat, but Im sure its faking it in an obvious attempt to get more food.
The captain is nowhere to be found and the bridge is completely sealed off. This room is air tight and worst of all I've just farted.. Not long left.. I fear that the end may be near.
Here I shall leave my last will and testiment.
"Nobody gets anything because im a tight-arsed git"
As I sit here, half-delerious due to lack of clean oxygen, I believe I may have worked out the meaning of life... The meaning of life is.... *thud*
*At this point Tactical Officer DeeperShade fell unconsious, find out his fate in the next exciting (yeah right) installment of "The StarShip Eternaty: Idiots in Space"*
6th Jan 2001, 05:22 PM
Helmsman RizMan's Log, stardate 65489.24
Finally, after a few weeks of vacation on Earth, I got back to the docks where the USSEternaty, the biggest, strongest and weirdest ship in the whole federation is being repaired. Maybe this sounds nostalgic, but I'm glad I'm back here. It's here where I feel at home, where my friends are. We went through a lot of trouble, fought hundreds of battles. That's what makes for real friends.
I used to be the ships helmsman during the battle against Species 8472 and the lorg. It was a very rewarding, but also stressing task, as the ships faith was in my hands sometimes. However, I'm getting to old for this. I'd like to change something. I though, as I originally studie Advanced Qantum Physics, I could apply for a job as Chief Engineer, as our's left us. Hope we can find a new helmsman. I would appreciate helping him out, giving him access to my wide maneuver DataBase. Their is a lot of fantastic stuff in that. My favourite still being the Picard Maneuver.
That was an idea I got, and I think I'm going to tell 8-4-7-2 about it, as he is First in Command for the moment, capt. Cascade being absent for the moment.
Now I'm going to have dinner, and then I'm going to Vortex's funerals. We will miss him.
6th Jan 2001, 05:54 PM
OK, I've got it all planned out now, I think. I'm going to scare the crew by putting in a special appearence at my funeral. Nothing too extravagent, perhaps I'll just toss a few kitchen utensils about. A couple of messages written on blood on the wall should do the trick as well.
Ohoh, what's this? Looks like that TO has got locked in the bridge and is inadvertantly suffocating to death from his own farts! I can't let this happen! After all I haven't quite got my revenge on him yet. No problem, it'll only take a few seconds to pump some fresh air into this room.
Well, that quick, he's regaining consciousness already. Must be gone, I can sense 8-4-7-2 starting to read his funeral speech. Haha, this will be fun!
6th Jan 2001, 06:25 PM
Stardate erm.. what is the stardate?
I've spent the last few hours in the Infirmary. I must have lost consiousness.. Either that or the pot noodles have been acting up again..
uh.. My go. All crew are to report to Vortex's funeral.. This should be good.. I've rigged the coffin to explode :D
7th Jan 2001, 04:17 AM
I hope that Captain Cascade returns soon, Vortex's funeral is due to start soon, and I don't think he'd want to miss it. I'm sure someone'll video it though, so he'll be able to catch up.
On the subject of the funeral, I detected an explosive charge in the "coffin" (actually a torpedo, without the explosives, but with a dead body instead)
The explosives have been disarmed, whoever planted them must be wrong in the head! I've passed this on to Beerbaron to do some enquieries.
Well, i've got one last check to do on the sensors, and then I'm off to the funeral
7th Jan 2001, 09:16 AM
First Officer's log Stardate 45599
The crew has gathered in the mess hall for Vortex's funeral. We will start with some memorial speeches and the have a an excessive party, with visits to the holodeck.
I think that's how Vortex had wanted it to be.
"I think I can speak of all of us, when I say that Vortex was one of the best friends I ever had. Without him we all wouldn't be alive today. He saved us more than once and ultimatly sacrificed his life for us.
On the funny side we will always remember his Pokemon fetish. Even if this critters brought is into trouble a lot of times, deep in the heart we love them. Er...not really, forget that." *sniff* *sniff* next person please.......
Before the cermony an explosive device was found in the casket. I ordered Beerbaron to investigate this later.
Lieutenant RizMan came to me asked to be assigned for Chief Engineer. Recognizing the lack of later, I immedialtley agreed. I also recommeded him for promtion to Lt. Commander. Starfleet Command agreed, so we have another silly excuse for a ship wide party
I also got a message from Dcotor 0shadow0, telling me of his resigment. He will visit the voodoo priests of Naranda V where he will perfect his skills. I'm sorry to see him go, as he was a great Doc.
Hereby a assign medical underling Merlin as new Chief Medical Officer - or Doc for short. He's better be good, or we are screwed. May God help him.
7th Jan 2001, 09:52 AM
i was just in time for Commander vortex's funaral.
i realy feel a lost inside me.
after 8-4-7-2's speech i was next, i start of rather good, but i couldnt manage 2 keep the tears from comming.
I LOVED THAT MAN (not that way).
the reason i was so very l8, was because of my meating with starfleet command.
we had a long talk and i got congradulated on our victory on the lorg a hundred times.
they also wanted 2 give us a reward.
so after a long talk they hads decided 2 promote evry body on the ship
as FO 8-4-7-2 will be come captain, there will be no more room for me abourd the uss eternaty, i will realy miss my baby. this was my ship and my crew. i must say that i have had a wanderfull time abourd this vessel and i realy hope that u all have a very good journey.
as me leaving the eternaty i will be promoted 2 Admiral, so i wll not leave starfleet as some rumours have gone around the ship.
i will contact yuo all regulairy, just 2 keep in touch, u r after all my friends, every single 1 of you.
i have been inforemed recently apointed captain of the uss eternaty has already recruited some new crew members, i am sure he knows what he's doing.
for now, i come with a message from startfleet:
when repairs r finished on the uss eternaty, u will go 2 dragona system on a diplomatic mission,
the second planet of the system is called m0tard VI, the inhabitants cant stop playing ctf-face, startfleet wants u 2 go and investigate why they have this urge 2 play this map and why they like 2 spawnsnipe evry body.
be care full with beaming down, the inhabitants might think its a player respwning, and we wouldnt want 2 loose ne members 2 a bunch of m0tards right?
i greet your all, i acpect a full report every week on the progress, we will keep intouch
recently promoted 2 admiral Captain CaSCaDe out.
7th Jan 2001, 12:07 PM
D'oh, I somehow managed to miss my own funeral. Perhaps it's for the better, it wouldn't feel right trashing the new ship. I noticed our former captain CaSCaDe returned to the ship for a brief visit although I noticed he was wearing an admirals uniform as 8-4-7-2 has officially been given command of the Eternaty. I also had a look at CaSCaDe's logs and it appears that the Eternaty's first mission is to visit a planet inhabited by m0's. This is the kind of mission I would have loved to be on but I'm not too sure about how I could query the captain. Being invisible would make me a good spy, I feel. I'll have to check the starfleet regulations on dead officers being posted on starships.
7th Jan 2001, 12:13 PM
Chief Engineer RizMan's log, stardate 7897654.56
This is my first log as Chief Engineer from the USSEternaty. After asking 8-4-7-2 about chonging position from Helmsman to CE, he accepted immediately, probably because there's noone else there to do the job. Well anyway. I've also been promoted to Lieutenant Commander. What an honor, though the best thing about promotions is the party :)
Today, Votex's funerals took place in the mess hall. 8-4-7-2 made a very, how can I say, emotionally intense speech. I had to cry. Vortex was indeed a great person: as a friend, but also as a leader and warrior.
After the funerals, I got some good news: OshoadowO, this freak, this Voodoo priest is going to leave us. Finally one thread less. He won't make any more dissections or strange experiments on our crewmembers.
7th Jan 2001, 12:22 PM
Out of nowhere, I was warped to the repaired Eternaty. With my mobile emittor, I searched the ship high and low for any remnants of Pokemon. Alas, all the repair crew must've snatched them up and gae them to thier kids or something. Oh well. I decided that things needed to get a little more Pokemoned so I let go every Pokemon I had (yep, all 251 of the little guys). A crew officer ran up to me and I said "All your ship are belong to us." and he fell to the floor, pounding it, and said "What you say!?"
It reminded me of ZeroWing. It reminded me of this: http://members.home.nl/groothuijsen/ZEROWING.gif
7th Jan 2001, 12:27 PM
Vortex's funeral was really emotional, although he isn't being missed as much as we thought, he seems to be hanging around as a ghost!
As 8-4-7-2 is now the captain, he must now name his first officer, I'm kind of hoping to be chosen, but I'm not going to get my hopes up.
Oh, I rescued some guy who was floating around outside, still got the touch for the transporters! his name's Kilham, and he's recovering in sickbay now.
7th Jan 2001, 12:52 PM
Tactical officers log
I have come to understand that the post of first officer is open.. I have already sent 3 tonnes of chocolates to 8472 but as yet he has not made a decision. I am not resorting to threats such as "Give me FO or i'll rip your throat out and beat you to death with the tonsol end"
DeeperShade out *fzzt*
7th Jan 2001, 01:10 PM
This will be my last log as First Officer of this ship. The last year was one of the hardest but also most rewarding in my career. I will miss this post and the one of the TO.
In this sense:
-computer: begin Captain's log, Stardate 25651.1-
Captain Cascade reported my to his quaters where I - to my surprise - learned that he was promoted to Admiral for his efforts in the Lorg scrims. He will watch us from Starfleet Headquater's and still give us orders. As wellfare present I handed him a spellchecker for his logbook.
I was assigned as Captain of the USS Eternaty. I'm shocked, so young and already Captain of the fleet's finest ship. Well, that must be destiny.
So I headed for the bridge took seat in the soft and comortable Captain's chair. The ship's systems have been completely updated and work better than ever before. So I gave my first oder.
Helm: "Set course. The 4th start from the left. Till the morning. Then warp 9 to planet m0tard VI"
I got some bribes and proposals for the post as my Number 1.
Lt. DeeperShade sent me 3 tonnes of choclate. Bah, choclate. If he had sent me pizza he would have become FO. But this way I think D-Stroya is the best choice. He is herby promoted to Commander.
7th Jan 2001, 01:31 PM
Chief Engineer RizMan's Log, stardate 978654.56
Captain CasC...ehhh 8-4-7-2 (I gotta get used to this) gave the order to leave the docks. As we don't have a Helmsman yet and there's nothing to do in Engineering, I decided that I would take this baby out of the docks. Although I didn't ask 8-4-7-2 if I could do this, he didn't seem to have any objections when I sat down at the Helmsconsole. Our baby is doing much better now after the repairs. She flys like she's been newly born. Very smooth.
Hehe, I did a nice maneuver while leaving the docks. I started to turn far to early while leaving backwards, thus almost destroying the docks (well, that was what the others thought, I did this on purpose of course) But I didn't touch anything. I'm a good pilot :) (Note from the author: This is hard to explain, but the ones who saw Starship Troopers should know what I'm talking about :) )
Well anyway: we're heading toward m0tardVI now with warp 9.
7th Jan 2001, 01:33 PM
Well, I still can't seem to get the captains attention in any way, but it seems another more important issue has arisen. A few moments ago I sensed an alien entity board the Eternaty. It may be a pokemon but I have never seen it's kind before. It looked kind of like a large green fish and it burped a lot. Not exactly pleasent. What's worrying is that, before it left, it deposited 251 pokemon in engineering! When your obsessed with pokemon as I am, you can only withstand so much. I can already feel me regaining my solidity! Unfortunately, due to the large concentration of pokemon, I won't be regaining my human form. Instead, I've only around twenty minutes before I can easily pass for a bulbasaur. I think I'll consider hiding in a jefferies tube until the crew goes off duty. With any luck, the corriders should be quieter by then and I can go in search of the rest of those 'mon. I'd like to know more about that green fish that brought them here.
7th Jan 2001, 02:25 PM
Bfore things got out of hand, I quickly decided to snatch up 6 of the Pokemon I let loose upon the ship: Mew, Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres, Lugia and Hou-Hou. Damn those lazy people at the planet GameFreak for giving the newer Pokemon such crappy names. I should've grabbed Mewtwo as well, but he went off, muttering something about finding a Vortex on the ship. What the hell that meant was beyond me.
7th Jan 2001, 04:08 PM
Im trapped in my room surrounded by Pokemon.. This is strange as the pokemon storyline was killed off in the last thread... This must be Dopey's work.. Damn him... Im going to try and get to my Laser Gun (cant called it a phasor for ph34r of copyright)
If I do not succede then I will have to resort to kicking the furry little ****s in the nuts.. Erm.... Do pokemon have nuts?
**** they're closing in
*DeeperShade punts Mew across the room and makes a run for his phasor.. i mean Laser Gun.. yes laser gun thats right :D *
Eat this you furry little intestinal tract eating ****ty pieces of bad animation!!! ARRRGGHHH
*sounds of laser fire fill the rooms*
****.. I've shot myself in the foot!
8th Jan 2001, 02:32 AM
as i saw the startship eteranty leave the space dock i felt realy weird.
i am going 2 miss the travels wit hmy ship mates.
wehn the eternaty left the docks it seemed like it was going to trash the docks, but as i know helmsman... oh wait EX-helmsman rizman, i knew he was just playing a joke.
man, this new position stinks, i got nothing to do.
o well, i think i'm going to take out a shuttle and go for a little spn around jupiter, i hear its quite lovely this time of year.
as i fly true the darkness of space i get a subtile feeling of loss. my old crew and ship, i realy miss them.
but wait a sec. as admiral i can do what i want!!!!
i could go 2 the m0tard system my self and fight some m0tards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES THATS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO!!!!!!!!!
i will not let the ship know i'm comming, the bigger the suprise.
i will now set course for m0tard VI and reunite with my ship mates! although i am not going to be in command of my own ship (i practictly build here single handedly) atleast i will be wit hthe people i love.
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.
[Edited by CaSCaDe on January 8th, 2001 at 07:18 AM]
8th Jan 2001, 12:34 PM
Captain's log Stardate 44589.4 (that sounds cool)
We are now in standard orbit over m0tard VI. I just revealed our mission to the crew. All over the planet's surface the people build stadium with 2 towers where they play Capture The Flag. They call this Facing Worlds. Starfleet Command is extremly worried about the lameness like spawnsniping and camping. So they send us to investigate this.
As the natives on the planet might beamsnipe is if you we use transporter I decided to bring the landing party down in the rebuild and enhanced Omega-Flyer (now know as Lamda-Flyer). The team consist of me, Lt. Cmd. RizMan and Lt. DeeperShade. In our absence I will put the command over the ship into Cmd. D-Stroya's capable hands.
I'm now heading for shuttlebay 8 where I will meet with them
I heard of inceasing numbers of pokemon incident on this ship. DeeperShade reported of a furious phas...er..laser fight he had. And this morning a pokemon sat in my chair on the bridge! I crushed it when I sat down. Strange; I think I ate too much pizza in the last time.
Therefor I ordered Beerbaron to replicate pizza and hand out our anti-pokemon-weaponry to the crew. Maybe the problem will be fixed when we return.
8th Jan 2001, 01:07 PM
Got worried for a mintue there. I was hiding in one of the Jefferies tubes when someone started to open the hatch! Thankfully it was only a Mewtwo. It took ages to work out what it was talking about but I eventually figured out that the crew were arming themselves with pizza, a pokemon's one known allergy. Now, I don't really want to get in a fight with my (former) crew but the again, I won't get any help from them in my current form. So, I'm going along with this Mewtwo thing right now. It says that some of the 'mon have holed themselves up in an old disused storeroom where our former doctor used to keep his "tools". Anyway, I'm hoping this one know's disable...
8th Jan 2001, 02:42 PM
Chief Engineer Lt.Commander RizMan's Log, stardate 784654.54
We are now in the Orbit of m0tardVI. Captain 8-4-7-2 reveiled us our mission. Ban all llamaness from this planet where they keep on playing a game where being good at Spawnsniping is an honor. They play it on something called Facing Worlds. Somehow it reminds me of the world Sam_The_Man was once banned to. Maybe there's a link with this planet????
Well anyway: 8-4-7-2, DeeperShade and me are going on an Outside mission. We are going to use the brand new Lambda Flyer. I will ask 8-4-7-2 if I can fly it as I did a lot of construction work on it myself.
I'm heading to the Shuttle bay now to join them.
Also, I heard from a new Pokemon thread. I really thought that we did get rid of them a long time ago. Rumour says that they where brough aboard again by a weird looking creature. It seems like it's a greend fish wich keeps on blurping. Kinda reminds me of a Dopefish. These are in general harmless, but they tend to Spam all conversations with useless crap nobody is interested in :)
Anyway, I hope that the pokemon will be gone when we come back from our outside mission. I hate these critters.
8th Jan 2001, 05:13 PM
I've been made first officer! I can't believe it! And I'm already being left in charge while the captain heads an away team.
I've been told of a possible Pokemon problem, started by a Dopefish, which seems famiiar to a spamfish we found in the holodeck a while ago...
Anyway, Beerbaron is dealing with the pokemon, so I'm going to keep an eye on things from the Bridge
9th Jan 2001, 03:41 AM
during my travel towards the starship eternaty i ran across a ship that looked awfully formilair, it looked just like the eternaty, only then made out of cheap ripoff plastic.
as i flew by i saw the name of the ship, it's called the starship mentalaty, i dont know where it come from or who it belongs to, i'll have to investigate this later.
for now i have decided to send a subspace message to the eternaty to make them awair of this ripoff.
now they know i'm coming i am going to work on some sort of welcome back speech or something.
9th Jan 2001, 01:23 PM
I've just recieved a communication from Admiral Cascade! He's on his way to visit the eternaty, but he sent the message to warn us of a nearby ship, named the USS Mentallity. It is a copy of the eternaty in every way, but also inferior in every way. They are showing no hostile intentions at the moment, but we are being cautious, none the less.
I've sent a message to the captain to inform him of their presence.
9th Jan 2001, 03:21 PM
I have been away blasting pokemon, so /me looks around to find how whats been happening. Doh, I missed the funeral :( Oh well, I'll check out the tape of it when I get a minute. Oh, new weapon!
The xyz-mini14 Reimplotion device: Point this at your target and hit the firing stud on the handle of the weapon and your target folds in on itself, then explodes!
9th Jan 2001, 03:58 PM
The last thing I remember was being blown out of a hole in the side of the cargo ship I was assigned to, the Fusion. It appears that I am the only survivor, and the only one to know that somebody set up us the bomb. When I girst regained consciousness I was told I was safe in a ship docked in Mars orbit. I was looking forward to a few weeks R&R on Phobos moon base, chasing Cathode around. Next time I came round, we were in interstellar space on the way to some planet called m0tard VI. I'd heard of the place before, all diplomatic missions there have ended in the heads being shot off all who set foot there. The people of this silly planet live in buildings made of wood, as all the stone is used to build towers. When the stone ran out in some areas, towers were built from steel girders. I heard these things from a half-mad mercenay one day, who claimed to be a survivor of one of these missions. He said this world was under the evil power of a 'Llama' whatever that is. I hope it's nothing like a Pokemon. Can't stand those things. At least there won't be any around here. Anyway, I need some rest now. Hope there's a job I can do when I get out of Sickbay.
10th Jan 2001, 09:10 AM
Captain's log Stardate 1125.556145444564894464651
Before we left the ship, I was informed that Cap....eh..Admiral Cascade is on rendevous course in a shuttle. It will be good to have him around us again. And I will still be in command of the ship.
The survivor from the Fusion we took aboard on Utopia Planitia on Mars awoke in sickbay and turned out to be called Kilham. Currently he is treated by the EMH, as Doctor Merlin can't be seen anywhere. As soon he is recovred I'll talk with him, about his qualifaication. We still need a Science Officer, a counselor, or a cook.
Anyways the away team, consisting of me, RizMan and DeeperShade, landed near one of the tower construction. By using the Lamda flyer we avoided spawnsniping. Then we walked away from the landing site to explore the surrounding area. As we returned after a few hours for lunch, we were greeted by natives camping at our shuttle. Their weapon spam forced us to retreat.
Now we sit here in the wood without food, stranded on a planet of llamas. We can't use the transporters or will be discovered at once. I'm open for suggestions how to save our miserable lifes...
10th Jan 2001, 09:11 AM
Chief Engineer Lt.Commander RizMan's Log, stardate 234597.28
8-4-7-2, DeeperShade and me are heading towards MotardVI's Surface using the brand new Lambda flyer. Man, this baby rocks my nutz. Anyway, as we approached the surface, Huge towers (and I really mean HUGE) appeared at the horizon. There were hundreds of them. It seems like they are placed in a specific manner, i.e. there are always two towers facing each others. This must be what, according to rumours, is known as Facing Worlds. Also, the ships sensors registered high activity of old, primitive weapons, formerly known as Sniper Rifle being shot with. It seems like we are heading towards some intense fights which are going on down there.
Also, the sensors are showing a high rate of Headshots and an average age of 0.005 microsceonds/person. Looks like people get headshotted even before they are born or as it is called in the Motard System: Respawned.
Another Strange thing is that some of the persons shooting at each other don't even seem to need to aim. They just fire blindly, but strangely they hit everytime.
Anyway: We are going to find a spot to land and then investigate this situation. We can't let this llamaness continue.
Another thing is that we got a call from the Eternaty telling us that Admiral Cascade is heading towards us. Now that's some good news. However, he let us know that someone build a similar ship to ours, the USS Mentality. Strange name for a ship isn't it?
Anyway, I'm now going to try to land this baby in a region which isn't to much populated from these Llamas.
10th Jan 2001, 12:58 PM
OK, now I'm beginning to see the truth. I'm sitting in a dark room full of strange implements and these vile creatures. I never knew pokemon smelled so bad up close. I hope I'm not this bad. I'm sneaking out the back entrance and hopefully get as far away from those 'mon as possible. Perhaps I'll become dead again if I get enough distance between us. I've just noticed some fancy looking shuttle heading down to the planet m0tard. Looks like it might have the captain on it. That's given me an idea! I'm going to borrow a shuttle and get the hell away from Eternaty! What's that?
Oh 5h1T, a security team!
10th Jan 2001, 05:13 PM
I've recieved news that one of the Pokemon may infact be Vortex! It seems that pokemon can actually turn spirits into more pokemon. I witnessed this when a pokemon turned my glass of wine into another pokemon! and Vortex is a spirit! (or at least was!)
We must check all the pokemon, to ensure that none of them is Vortex!
10th Jan 2001, 07:40 PM
Ok, the pokemon might have infected Vortex somehow, so this is gonna make eliminating 'em a weee bit difficult. I dont know how yet, but I got a feeling it will. Not much else going on, so out.
Out I say!
10th Jan 2001, 11:45 PM
f*ck that was a long nap
anyway when I woke I found out that the old doc has left and I'm the new doc when I reported to sickbay I found Killham resting comfortably. After check him over I found he still had his high voice from all the helium but I released him anyway he'll be fine.
I also found some cat laying on one of the sickbay beds but told it to go find some pokemon to hunt and kicked it out the door.
as for my next door neighbor 8472 (our new beloved captin) his room always seems to smell like sh*t maybe I should talk to him about his bathroom habits
11th Jan 2001, 01:38 PM
i am now almost at the rendevous point with the eteranty.
in my last communication attemed i heared a bout another terrible poken infestation onboard the eteranty.
i emidiatly put the shuttle on automated pilt and began replicating pizza...... MWUHAHAHA!!!! (subtitled evil laughter) i will get those damn bastereds!!!!!! they wont get as far as the came last time!!!! THEY WILL SUFFER!!!!!!!!!!
urhm....... excuse me for that last outburst, but i dont have very good memories about the little rats.
i have contacted the eternaty that i am ready to dock my shuttle and give them all a big hug! :)
when i made contact i was informed that 8-4-7-2, rizman and deepershade have gone to the surface to try and nagotiate with the m0tard.
but they have not yet been succesfull, in fact they are cut of from ne means to get back to the ship.
i have decided it is time to get out some of the old trick i used in my days on the eternaty and hopefully get those man outof there.
i am now stearing toward planet m0tard and are getting ready to land
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.
11th Jan 2001, 05:32 PM
OK, strange. After a brisk run down the corrider I finally got cornered by that security team. Thankfully, they didn't fry me with their guns. I'm thinking that they may recieved some special orders from the captain. I'm not sure what part of the ship I've been taken too but I'm sitting in this glass cage. They've done the same to a lot of other 'mon and there's a lot of science and security personnel hanging around and their wheeling in some rather strange looking instruments. It seem likely that their going to be testing out some new anti-pokemon weapon. Well, here's hoping it doesn't work.
11th Jan 2001, 10:49 PM
I meet the famous cascade today and was impressed he docked huged d-stroya and got back on his shuttle to help the capt and the others off the planet surface and left us a pile of replicated pizza taller than me, well if I ever have to put someone out of their misery I'll have a poison that will kill instantly plus I've got a pile higher than myself of it. I haven't been very busy but I have had a chance to peek in on all the pokemon they've managed to capture in they're never ending search for vortex in among a large group of the ugly little things.
12th Jan 2001, 04:03 PM
Captain's log Stardate 45896.455
We lived in the forest for 3 days now! Everyone is so hungry that he could eat a pokemon. Just when we tought we will die, an old friend rescued us: Admiral Cascade!
He brought a big supply of pizza. Altough they were replicated and thought against the pokemon, I ate ten of them. Yummy, yummy.
The admiral came with his own shuttle (ah, I can't wait for my next promotion). He landed in a nearby valley. We are now in the shuttle doing some repairs, as it wa slightly damaged.
I will talk with Cascade about how to further deal with the m0tards. Any research on their behaviour is risky and it is nearly impossible to talk with reason to them. Maybe it would be best to forget this planet...
12th Jan 2001, 04:30 PM
WiLD² reporting for work, late as usual, SIR!
12th Jan 2001, 04:45 PM
Personal log. Stardate 3458603.43
I thought I'd never get out of that place.....I was starting to go mad. Could've sworn a Bulbasaur ran past the doorway earlier on, but that's just silly. There won't be any pokemon out here to awaken my pokecidal tendencies. I'd better report for duty and.......hmmmm I smell pizza.....
12th Jan 2001, 06:04 PM
Hmm, all these toys to experiment on pokemon, so little time. I think I will make Pikachu eat this rather large slice of military surplus cheese.
/me ducks pokemon intestines
Wow, that was interesting...
Hey, this one is kinda giving off the smell from Vortex!
13th Jan 2001, 06:37 AM
Tactical Officers Log
I've just woken up.. I'm onboard the walkabout. Last thing I remember is having a standing battle with the 'mon. They must have *cough* put me on the walkabout and set it adrift to stop me from *cough* warning the others..
Wait.... I see something up ahead... i-i-i-it looks like.... it cant be... Noooo... anything but that......
13th Jan 2001, 10:06 AM
i have set down my shuttle and found the missing crew members, they where very hungry, good thing i left some replicated pizza on bourd my shuttle.
we are now maken minnor repair so we can set of back to the eternaty.
i have discussed with Tactial...... urhm.. First.... urhm Captain 8-4-7-2. (damn thats hard to remeber) he sais there is no way of reasoning with the m0tards. i always want to search for a diplomatic solution above agresive force, so i tried to talk to the motards my self. as i walk towards them, 1 of them trows a small disc shaped thing @ me and all of a sudden i feel myself slipping outof fase. as i see the whole world shifting i suddenly found myself being back on earth. but it looks so primitive! i started to ask around a bit and found out i am realy on earth........... only in the year 1999............... i have no idea how i am going to get my self outof this one!!!!!!
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.
13th Jan 2001, 10:46 AM
Captain's log stardate 12561.556
Admiral Cascade convinced me that it is important to talk with the m0tards. He even volunteered to negogiate. So he walked of for the nearest group of m0tards. We kept an eye on him. But as he came closer to them we saw a starnge teleporter effect and a noise. After this he disappeared!
Later we went to the side an made some scans. They showed a temporal signature. RizMan is thinking that he traveled at least 350 years and is now in the late 20th or early 21st century. If this is true I hope for the best, as it is a primitive time.
To begin our efforts in rescuing the admiral we used the now repaired shuttle to return to the Eternaty. I ordered Chief Engineer RizMan to come up with proposals for time travel initation within 2 hours.
We will leave a warning beacon in the orbit of m0tard VI. The system will be declared a forbidden zone. No federation vesell is allowed to enter the whole m0tard system till the end of days. If a ship doesnt comply the crew has to fear the worst consequences. I hope this will keep this llamas isolated.
Upon our return we saw a runabout ouside the ship. It seems that Lt. Kilham was hiding in there from the pokemons. We beamed him back on board. As he was ok, I assigned him to assist RizMan in the time travel thingy. After all he is our new science officer.
[Edited by 8-4-7-2 on January 13th, 2001 at 11:52 AM]
13th Jan 2001, 01:17 PM
Science officer's log: Stardate 3244.23*1.2e22
I am happy to accept the position of Science officer,
and am ready to help with these strange timewarp effects....
but first I must investigate the cheap plastic ripoff reported to us by Admiral
Cascade on his way here.
Investigation by subspace projection complete. It's plastic, it's cheap, but it's not identical anymore.
Seems half of deck 17 has collapsed, leaving their ship with a double-height deck 16, with lots of nalicow waste under it...
They are also at war with the Phorg, which sounds like another rip-off, and are equipped with phasers, which sounds like a lawsuit....
13th Jan 2001, 06:05 PM
The replicated pizza was great, but I had this feeling that eyes were watching me the entire time I ate. This place is strange, my head feels wierd. I'm feeling this compelling urge to kick a pokemon clear into the empty void that is space.
[Edited by WiLD2 on January 13th, 2001 at 07:57 PM]
13th Jan 2001, 06:54 PM
Tactical Officer Log
Stardate... erm... oh dear...
I have woken up on a strange world.. It smells of cats urine.. I dont know where I am... The last thing I can remember is being aboard the Walkabout and seeing space rip itself open.. I think I must have been sucked throught the rift... I can... I see a lot of buildings.. Kinda grotty looking... Some of them have flashing words on them, but I do not understand the dialect.. When... um.. if I get back to the Eternaty I will have to try and trace some of these strange words...
McDonalds... what the hell is that.... and are they hostile....
Someones coming.. I must hide...
14th Jan 2001, 04:33 AM
as i wander tru this strange and barbarian world i find myself standing in frond of a large building. i can help the feeling i knows this place. Oh well it will probably be my over acting imagination.
as i walk away from the building i notice a person. i have seen this person to some where.
wait a minute thats one of the new officers fromthe eternaty!
have they found a way to help me bac to the future so fast?
GOD I LOVE THOSE GUYS! (not in THAT way) as i run towards ......... urhm. i cant remember his name (hes new, but i will get to know him) well, as i run towards him he turns to me and i see a sad face.... a very sad face...... i walkslowly towards him and ask whats wrong. but all he can say is some giberish. he is just producoing randome words, i dont even know if he understands what i'm saying.
i laid my arm around his sholder and escoreted him towards where i have put up my ""home adress". all i can do is wait for rescue. or wait..... there is some thing i can do.
i covered deepershade (i remembered his name) with some thin newspapers, god this is primative! news on printed on cheap paper.
when i get back i think i'll apreciate the news on those kewl pads more and more.
but as i was saying, i think there is a way i can make some sort of temporal homing beaken so that my crew.. urhm, my EX-crew. can find me even here in the 20th century.
after i came up with the plan i went to a store to get some parts i need. but when i wanted to check out the store keeper asked for MONEY!!! MONEY!!!!!??????? wtf is wrong with these people! money is the couse of every WAR ever to take place on this misarable old planet!!!!!!!..... urhm sorry for that outburst again (i can get a bit agressive when i get to exiteted, must be cuse of some of the lorg implants they couldnt remove. wait a minute! i still ogt those! and the people here have never even seen a android! butthey are not afaid? how is that possible?)as you can probably under stand, i didnt have ne money. a problem i haveto work on. as i walk out of the stare i saw some creature.. it was horendess!!!!!!!!!!!!! it had cloros all over his body (wich i l8r found out where ""tattoos") and ring tru almost every body part he had!(those are "piercings"(dunno if that is the proper english word) i found out) SO THAT IS WHY PEOPLE ARE NOT AFREAD OF ME! there are worse thing people can do to there body in this time than some stupid implants.
alright, now i gotta find some money.
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.
14th Jan 2001, 06:24 AM
Firestorm's Log - Stardate 0181 811 8181
I am the Captain of the USS Mentallaty! I finally managed to break your computers security and add an entry to the log file. Our ZX81s practically do the work for us these days :)
Anyway, I'd just like to say youve been sending us a lot of subspace messages, and it is starting to screw with our weapons systems slightly. If you want to continue to keep in contact with us, then keep it over a radio communication channel (our plastic hull can only withstand so much).
Firestorm, Captain of the USS Mentallaty
PS. Our log file signature is http://dynamic.gamespy.com/%7Esoundoff/utmforums/ikonboard/ikonboard.cgi :)
14th Jan 2001, 07:59 AM
Captain's log Stardate 214555.15
We are missing another crewmember. Tactical Officer DeeperShade went on aboard of a shuttle, and set course back to the planet. Why he did that is beyond my comprehension. However we lost contact to him and the shuttle was adrift in space. We salvaged it but found no sign of DeeperShade in it. To our surprise we detected a temporal signature on the pilot chair.
As I'm no expert in temporal mechanics and subsapce phyisics I handed the data to Science Officer Kilham. Maybe DeeperShade was send into the same time frame as the Admiral. If so our chances to rescue both are higher.
I still havn't received a report from Engineering. What the hell are they doing down there?
Security found a person on deck 12. It turned out that he is called Wild2 and was a member of the cleaning and engineering crew in the Utopia Planitia yards. Obviosly he was forgotten. I wlecomed him on board and suggested some positions he might take: Counselor, cook, Communications Officer, Helmsman/Navigator
He said he will think about it
The Eternaty received asubspace transmision from this plastic ship. It is called USS Mentalaty and commanded by a Capt. Firestorm. He claimed that we spam their log data base. I have no clue what he talk about, so I checked Starfleet data, and found no records of a ship of that name. Maybe they are alien impositors, training to masquerade as Starfleet officers. This is very threatening. Therefor I sent my results to headquaters, and wait for further instruction.
I quick insight into their logs show that they are a bunch of crazy fewlz.
Security reported that they hunt the pokemons down to deck 8. But this morning I saw a Bulbasaurus running past my quaters. I took my phaser rifle to fry it but only hit the computer console. Oops. I hope the Federation doesn't want me to pay for that. I set it on RizMan's to-do list.
IVth and last Supplemental
As always I noticed a lack of female crewmembers
14th Jan 2001, 09:44 AM
I don't remember much since my last starlog, except for a strange leafy animal that attacked me. That was the last thing I remember, I blacked out. Then I wake up to find myself on Deck 12, a security officer offering me his support, I can hardly walk. I find that my legs are weak and very itchy. What the hell did that strange animal do to me?
The security officer takes me to Capt 8-4-7-2. I tell him as much as I can remember, where I'm from and what position I was on the ship. He takes pity for me as I was a cleanliness management engineer, the lowest step on the federation ladder. He quickly promotes me to cook. I can't wait to get started replicating food for the entire crew.
14th Jan 2001, 02:01 PM
Science officer's log Stardare 439285.2/3
I have analyzed the data given to me by Captain 8-4-7-2, and the two temporal signatures show considerable similarity.
From this I expect to find both missing crew members on at least the same planet.
I have also studied some of the information brought back from m0tard VI and have managed to piece together some of the history of that strange world.
It appears the star m0tard is reaching the end of its life and will soon become very unstable,
destroying all of it's planets. The disc thrown at Admiral Cascade was originally developed to allow the
highly advanced people to escape destruction in their past, but a few idiots did not want to leave.
They created the all-consuming game of 'facing worlds' and adapted the disc to work as a spatial transporter.
The only way to discover the exact location of Admiral Cascade & co. is to use one of these discs to duplicate
the accident. We must return to m0tard VI. and find one.
It also seems somebody forgot about the lambda flyer, a long range scan (LRS) shows their chief llama has adapted it for use as a personal 1v1
battle arena. We'll have to recover that as well.
We have received a hostile message from the plastic starship. It seems that a replicator was slightly damaged on my visit there,
and has deposited 2,000 tonnes of a porcine meat product on their bridge. I have tried to apologise as requested but their radio antenna is also plastic.
We have nothing to fear from them though, as I have developed nanobots capable of stripping a plastic hull in minutes.
I may risk another visit by subspace projection.
Where is Engineering? I will need their help to build a full temporal transporter when we recover a sample disc.
14th Jan 2001, 03:00 PM
I have been informed that one of the pokemon has been identified as vortex! apparently, Beerbaron says it smells like him, so I'm going down there to run some further tests.
We must also arange to re-capture our ship, the lambda flyer, as the m0tards have it. I think that I'm going to go undercover, and challenge the leader to a game of Deathmatch, with the Lambda as the prize. I'm quite sure I can win
I just need to get the Captain's permission
[Edited by D-Stroya on January 14th, 2001 at 04:06 PM]
14th Jan 2001, 04:45 PM
OK, we're finally getting there now. Tests have been carried out on most of the other 'mon and I think the crew may finally find me soon. The scientists have been feeding the pokemon all sorts of foods which, for the most part, makes them explode although just a few minutes ago a pikachu's brain (yes, they do have them) popped out it's head and splat onto the floor. I hope they can get me back to normal soon. It's getting rather hard to move in here and I feel like I ought to be doing something. I've heard rumours about some crewmembers disappearing off the ship although I don't exactly get told much about anything in here. Anyway, I'm getting hungry again. Maybe if I hit myself off the wall a few more times I'll get more pizza.
Or then again maybe another one of those stupid tranquiliser injections.
14th Jan 2001, 05:16 PM
Captain's log Stardate 25568.666
I have a difficult mission for an away team consisting D-Stroya, Kilham, and RizMan.
Kilham's research showed that Admiral Cascade and Lt. DeeperShade are most likely in the same time and place: late 20th century Earth. (I hope they can survive in that primitive time). He found out that the m0tards use a special kind of transporter device - I will call it translocator or x-loc for short (I'm so lazy). This x-loc can cause a rip in the fabric of time.
To find out the right time we need to get such a x-loc disk.
This will be part one of their mission.
The second part will be to recover the Llamda Flyer, which we left back and is no occupied by a m0tard.
I ordered them to gather in transporter room 8 as soon as possible.
As I walked through the corridors on deck 12 I noticed a strange distortion in the air. I looked closer and believed to see Commander Vortex. But this can't be - he is dead! This must be the result of the few sleep I get. However other crewmembers also reported such phenomenons. There are even rumours of a "haunting of deck 12". We must investigate that later
Ensign Wild2 accepted that post as ship's cook. He immediatley walked of to the mess hall. For now he said, he will assist to replicate pizza. Later I will go to him and boldly test his skills to make a coffee.
I only hope he can also cook without a replicator!
15th Jan 2001, 10:25 AM
Chief Engineer Lt.Commander RizMan's Log, stardate 454797.5
The lag of logs from me during the last few hours is due to an assignement 8-4-7-2 gave me. I am to investigate the phenomenon which made disappear DeeperShade and Cascade and to find a solution on how to bring them back.
I worked together with our new Science Officer Kilham. He discovered that they were send back in time by the m0tards using a Time Control Device (TCD :) ) 8-4-7-2 calls x-loc. They cause a temporal anomaly, creating a rift in the Spacetime continuum thus allowing the m0tards to travel in back in time. Therefore the captain send us back to the surface to get one of these devices and to get back the lambda flyer. This is going to be some hard work. We gotta take care that the m0tards don't send us into the past.
Anyway, I'm also working on a plan on how to travel in time.
It seems that due to the excessive use of the x-loc during the last decades, a temporal anomaly has been created on the surface of the planet. It travels on an orbit around it, but sometimes passes into the atmosphere of the planet. I think that when Admiral Cascade was hit by the x-loc, the anomaly was just over him, thus sending him into the past.
Now, we need to calculate the exact orbit of the rift and send a comm message into it. Maybe we can contact Cas. That will be the easiest part of the plan. The hard oone will be to get him back. Fortunately, during the academy, I visited Prof. Knörrer's Lecture: "About the relationship between Space and Time travel" This will come in very handy.
First, we gotta locate the exact timezone Cascade is in. Then, we gotta get him back. Therefore, we need to polarize some chronoton particles and accelarte them in a very powerful Electrowarpic field until they reach a time frequency of sqrt((c^2*e^t)/t), where "t" is the time in milliseconds between the exact timelocation of Cas and us. This is gonna be very hard, because "t" will change permanently.
When the frequency is reached, we will hopefully be able to send them through into the rift and thus stabilizing the rift to the timeloaction Cas is held prisoner. Then, we need to send an away team through the rift, equipped with Chronoton Particles with the exact opposite frequency as the ones above to be able to get back to the rift and then be send back to our time.
Now I hope that this is going to work, but I trust in our crew.
Now, I gotta report to shuttlebay
15th Jan 2001, 11:49 AM
i have been here for almost a month now and i have found a way to make some money. i have used a bit of my knowledge of the future and have been able to become a engenire for a company that is known here as "microsoft". i have worked there for a few weeks now and all i can say is that this company is one of the worst that exists on this planet! i am glad i know that it will be taken over by a new company that is going to make the soft ware for the pads we use in the 23th century. i have been put to work on some program called "windows" and all i can say it is so buggy even i will not be able to make it work perfectly but with some of my knowlage it will be a better and more stable program than the last version. i am going to call it "windows me".
dont ask me why, but i felt a terrible urge to add the word ME to it, cuse the most work is done by ME! after i told this to my chief he was almost flipping his brains out!v he loved it! he said to me: "CaSCaDe, your going to be big in this buisiness! its briliant! windows me! who would have though about it it to call the next version of our monopoly program after the bigges thing in this time! REALY! windows millenium edition! just brilliant!", after had gone on and on about it he walk away chuckeling i would realy make it far in this branch, i have no idea what made him sao happy, but he i aint the one to judge bill gates am i? still i keep wandering i have heared that name some where before, oh well it must sound like the name of some of my friends.
i finaly have some money now to "BUY" the parts i need for my temporal beacon! i rushed to the store but when i got there it was closed. it had a sign on the door that said closed till after the millenium celibration. DAMN! now i will have to wait even longer in this god forsaken place!
oh well since it is the end of this millenium i think i will join the party and have some beer! god i love this drink! real alcohol! it's much better that then sinthahol we use for our strong drinks. i must remember to take some with me wheen i leave this place. IF i leave this place [sigh]
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.
15th Jan 2001, 05:23 PM
I have just been informed by Captain 8-4-7-2 that i will be leading an away team to recover the Lambda flyer, and obtain one of the devices used by the m0tards, known as an X-Loc. It's a dangerous mission, but I think we can pull it off. If all goes well, we should then be able to communicate with Admiral Cascade.
I've decided to do a DNA test on the pokemon that Beerbaron suspected was Vortex, and the DNA matches! we must now find a way to transfer him to another form. I have suggested to the Captain that we develop an android body, and find a way of transferring Vortex into it. This should work, as the hardest part to an android is usually the mind, but if we use Vortex's mind anyway, that shouldn't be a problem.
16th Jan 2001, 05:54 AM
Science officer's log Stardare 3.162277
I have formulated a plan to recover one of the x-loc discs. I have fitted a modified transporter and a holographic projector to the shuttle.
We will need to land as close as possible to one of the towers, as I am not certain about the operating range of these discs.
I will project a hologram of myself next to one of the towers, which the m0tards will snipe of course.
When they cannot kill me one of them should come to investigate, and if he throws the disc into the hologram it
will be transported to a secure room on the shuttle. The m0tard will at the same time attempt to x-loc and
should materialise in the room on board, where we can disarm him and recover the disc and controller.
I am submitting this plan for the Captain's approval and for comments on our possible success.
The work done by RizMan is very interesting, the disc is unlike our transportes in that it uses an interdimensional doorway, and an
energy imbalance between dimensions is caused every time it is used. On it's own it's small but after millions of uses in one place it
has created a semi-permanent random opening.
Another thing that puzzles me is the purpose of the red and blue flags inside the towers.
The m0tards never seem to use them for anything, could they be just for decoration?
16th Jan 2001, 07:26 AM
Captain's log Stardate 12345.67
RizMan and Kilham developed a plan to capture an x-loc disk and open a wormhole into the Admiral's time . I can honestly say that I didn't understand a single word of it. Maybe I should have paid more attention in the physics lesson on Starfleet Acedamy than dating gorgeous female cadets. But hey, what do I have my crew for. It sounded cool so it might as well work.
The only advice I gave them was to not keep the m0tard too long in the shuttle. We must by any means prevent unnesseccary contacts with them.
So I gave the final signal to get the mission into action, and the away team consisting of D-Stroya, RizMan and DeeperShade left with a shuttle a few minutes ago.
Kilham also found out that Commander Vortex was reincarnated in one of the pokemon. That had a strange side effect and he can move like a ghost. So the "haunting of deck 12" is true!
He suggested to build an android/robotic body. I immediatley took responibilty for that task. Finally my years of experience building BattleBots at the Acedemy might pay of. I won the first place in the Annual Starfleet BattleBot Championship five times in a row. I have some nice ideas to equip his new body.
So I ordered Security to capture but not hurt Vortex.
In my free time I visited messhall where Wild2 is happily serving meals to the crew. In my boldness I tried a cup of coffee and was surprised. It tasted really good. But later Wild2 toild me it was replicated! Tho it is still a good work, it wasn't really real. We must soon find a planet to get real coffee. This will be our next mission
16th Jan 2001, 09:30 AM
i have finaly been able to get the all the parts i need, i worked on the temporal beacon for 2 weeks now and its almost finnished. i have been trieng to revive Deepershade as he passed out after i lied him down under this damn newspapers, so far i have been unsuccessfull, i hope he will make it.
i am now laying the last hand on the beacon, only this small processor made by and other big company of this time called "intel" although its only a 800 hrz (wich is so fecking slow compared to our normal proccessors wich run @ atleas 400 Terra Hz) it is good enough to make this thing work, i only hope it stays long enough for the eternaty to find us cuse i think it will burn out after about 30 mins after ignition.
while i am making this log i inserted the processor and am now ready to pull the switch and make it work, i will make a automated message with the time location and temporal field frequantie that is needed to get me outa here!
start message recording:"CaSCaDe to eternaty, i have been able to create a temporal beacon, incolsed are the time frame, location and the temporal field frequentie, hope to see you soon! GET ME OF THIS FREAKING PLACE!!!!!!"
<computervoice> time frame = januari 2000, Location = silicon vally, temporal field frequentie = 3.142362
i hope that they have come up with a plan to get me back, what am i saing! i ope then WANTED to make aplan to get me back.
oops, left the recorder fution on :/
hope they wount take that personal :)
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out
16th Jan 2001, 09:48 AM
Stardate:You know you have to put a stardate in this field bah I didn't even know that
The away team has left for planet m0tard VI which leaves me with captain 8-4-7-2 who is religiously working on his android body for Vortex. Wild2 is here and is replicating food like nobody's buisness and beerbaron who continually tries to capture vortexs pokemon form I'm bored sh*tless. of course I haven't tended to anyone's injuries due to the fact that no one has had any yet, even with an away team going down to that awful place planet m0tard.
in another matter that stupid cat I kicked out of the sickbay on my first day as the doc keeps stealing pokemon from thier cages and bringing them to me expecting a reward for hunting them down.
16th Jan 2001, 02:15 PM
Chief Engineer Lt.Commander RizMan's Log, stardate 46458.6
Kilham, D-Stroya and me are on our way to the new mission the captain assigned us too. I considered Kilham's plan on how to recover one of these x-loc devices, and I'm rather sure that this should work. I will fly the shuttle as near as possible to one of the towers. I just need to keep enough distance and take care from these weapons they call 'deemers.
However, we still need a plan on how to recover the lambda flyer. I thought that we could, after having gathered one of these x-loc devices, land on the planets surface and search for it. The scanners are still capturing the positioning signal of the lambda Flyer, so that shouldn't be a problem. The hard part will be to get it out of the hands of this fewl who stole it. But as I know the crew, we will manage that problem too. But this is just to come.
16th Jan 2001, 03:12 PM
As the ships new cook, it is my duty to create food for them to eat. I am mocked because all I have done, so far, is replicate food, but little do they know how much fun it is! I agree with the Captain, though, that I can't wait until we get to a planet that has real food.
I've been hearing something going around, about an X-Loc. That word sounds kind of familiar, though, I don't know where I might have heard such a crazy word before. It kind of brings back an old memory, but I can't place where I know that word from. I'm struggling to remember, though, and if I do, the Captain will be the first to know.
16th Jan 2001, 03:36 PM
Science officer's log Stardare p16632mb
We are on our way back to m0tard VI to attempt to recover one of these discs. I'm getting bored so i've been working on a new weapon to help D-stroya beat the head llama and recover the Lambda. I've named it the Gooey Excrement Shooting biorifle, and it uses the highly toxic waste produced by the Nali cowdung fuelcells on the USS Mentallaty. I'm going to nip over there and *cough* ask them for a few gallons.
17th Jan 2001, 05:54 AM
yet again some weeks have passed and i have still not heared from the eternaty, i start wandering if my temporal beacon worked. becuase i maked alota money @ this company "microsoft" where i worked to get the money for the parts for my temporal beacon i have enough to get some more parts to repair it and send a second call for help.
i hope that they will recieve this one and try to atleast give me some sort of sign to let me know that they have recieved it.
i have still been unable to revieve deeper hshade, i have laid my hands on some primitave medicine and have tried to build a hypospary from the spare parts of thebeacon, so far i am unsuccesfull, i need a componan that is not yet manufacture in this time period, i am going to try and build it from scratch, but i am not sure if it will work.
i am now ready to send the same message i send to the eteranty before, only now i think it will last longer cuse i have found a way to cool the processor so it takess longer to burn out, it is some sort of giant machine with a large door with a light to goes on when u open the door, if i am corect this deviece is used to store food supplies and other things and by keeping it cool you can preserve it longer then just putting it in a closet. THANK GOD we dont need this kind of equiptment in the futere, we just put it in a cabin in wich we change the atmosphere so you can kep the stuff for as lonjg as you want.
i think it will take atleast 2 hours before it burns out now with this deviece i would like to call a: "freezer"
lets hope i am right.
my funds are no problem because i decided to keep working for this company till my friends are here to rescue me, because of this i have decided to get me another one of these "freezers" and am storring beer in it!
damn i love this! while i was getting a supplie of beer i cant help think of my securaty... urhm captain 8-4-7-2's securety officer beer baron, i wander if he know how good this drink is..... hum, oh well enough thinking lets get this show on the road!
<continouesly humming sound>
i just activated teh beacon again, and again all i can do is wait...
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.
17th Jan 2001, 09:47 AM
Captain's log Stardate 25559.155
Finally happy news!
This morning we recieved a weak subspace signal containing a temporal signature. It's orginator was Admiral Cascade!
He called for help and said that he his well. However it seems DeeperShade is unconcious. Therefor, if we are able to send an awayteam Doctor Merlin should come with us.
It seems that the Admiral spend the last week working for a primitive computer company getting money for building a temporal transeiver. Ingenious! Btw, weeks? How can that be possible? Since his disappearence only 5 days passed here. There must be some kind of time differential. If I only knew more about temporal phsyics.
I hope that the Admiral doesn't interfere to much with the time line. That least I want is a visit of the Temoral Police.
I havn't received a word from the team on m0tard VI yet. They started 5 hours ago, and I begin to worry a bit
I nearly finished my work on Vortex's android body. I went down to Engineering to get a mirco fusion reactor to power it. But in the incredible mess down there I only found an old combustion engine. So I installed it.
However this also creates some disadvantages I have yet to fix. The engine is very loud and creates deadly fumes. It also needs an ancient fuel known as "gas". I managed to replicate a bit, but it is very unstable.
The most important part I need as a positronic brain, and I have no idea where to get one
17th Jan 2001, 10:16 AM
startdate: Beats me
YAH Deepershade is unconcious. Wait wait it shouldn't start like that.
yeeehaaaaaaa Deepershade is unconcious. I get to go on a away mission as soon as we figure out how to travel through time.... that doesn't sound very hopeful ohhh well. Maybe I'll get a laser gun :D I hope I get a laser gun ohh yah I should start getting medical supplies ready for the trip.
hmmmmm....now where was that laser gun again?
17th Jan 2001, 11:00 AM
as i am still working @ this stupid program for this fecked up company bill gates again gave me a compliment on my work, i still cant remember where i heard that name before, all i know is that he just a ARSERAMMINGBUTTFUNGES!. Geeze he keeps telling me i am going to be a major in His company. Who the feck does he think he is? the 0wner of microsoft or something?
oh well i am going to get of this place soon enough.
i have been able to get yet an other one of htese "freezers" and have got a nice supply of beer to home with me when they come and rescue me.
IF they come rescue me. i still havent got a message or even a signal that the eternaty got my message, also i am not sure if the temporal field frequentie came true.
to make sure that they get my message i again shall try to repair the beacon, i gotta try and make the sending time longer because the previous attemp take less time to burn out then i had hoped. Instead of lasting 2 hours it only lasted about 1, oh well atleast its longer then half an hour.
to create a more powerfull beacon that i can use to send message to the eternaty i have decided to try and addept some of the systems here in the main "microsoft" building where they keep the servers. its cool and it has the advantage of almost a thousant super cray computer to help me get the message tru. if i'm lucky i willl be able to communicate with the eternaty tru my combage that i still carry.
also i noticed some of my collegeus are acting a bit wierd against me. i wander why. i tried to talk to some of them but all they could say to me was that i was a "ass-kisser" what ever that may be.
only one of the people that work here is very friendly to me, sowe talk once in a while.
he seems to have no problem with me being "the favorite worker" of the chief. he himself is very klever to for a guy of this century. i think we might be friends if could stay a bit longer, but i am still hoping for a fast rescue by my former shipmates. he also asked me about the inplants, i dont know why, but i think he likes them. offcourse i couldnt tell him what they ae so i convised him that it are pieces of "body art", he immediatly asked where he could get them. i told hime that they are very excusive and teht you can get them every where and that the guy who did mine doesnt want to be know. i hope he bought it.
also there is still no progress in deepershades condition, i fear i might loose him if i dont get him to a hospital very fast but i am reluctant to leave hi in the hands of these barbarian butchers who call them selfs docters.
all i can do is hope for the best and keep working on that improvised hypospray.
in addition to my work on the new "monopoly program" as bill gates calls it (damn why cant i remeber where i heared that) i have some spare time cuse i work almost 5 times faster thn those other morons workin on it, so i asked if i could get acces to the server room to do soe maintenace.
It was no probleme @ all because they must see that i am skilled enough to do it. what the hell am i saying? i am the only one around here that is skilled enough to do this kinda work! all the other asses thet think they can do it always screw up so i gotta go in to fix it.
when i entered the server room with my temporal beacon an alarm went of and it scard teh hell outa me! was i discovered? but the only thing was that because of my inplant the alarm system though i was smuggling a bom in.. hrfm a bom.... how primative.
what do they think i am? a spy or something? well in way thats true, but i'm not telling them!
anyways, i am in the server room now hooking up my beacon to the main terminal. lets hope this works.
EURIKA!!!!! it works! now to test it!
"CaSCaDe to any crew member on the eternay, please respond."
"CaSCaDe to any crew member on the eternay, please respond."
<some more waiting>
"Common guys! answer me!"
<even more waiting>
damn, may this thing doesnt work after all.
i will set it to send a automated message
this is Admiral CaSCaDe, if any body hears this plaese respond, i have been able to hook the temporal beacon i made to a giant compuer in order to make this relay my message tru a subspace band, i will reroute this signal to my combage so that if you hear this you will be able to respond.
and oh yeah, GET ME OUTA HERE!!!!!!!
and again all i can do now is wait for a reply.
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.
17th Jan 2001, 11:53 AM
Captain's log Supplemental
We received another transmission through time from the Admiral. This time it was way more powerful. With my limited knowledge of communications I managed to send back a signal on the excact opposite frequency to cross the time barrier backwards, using his signal as tracer.
I'm not sure if he got the message but here is what I told him:
"This is Captain 8472 to Admiral Cascade. We got your transmission and are preparing a rescue mission. An away team will be send to you as soon as we recover a teleporter disk from the m0tards. Ah...that's another story...[transmission interrupted, temporal rift collapsed]"
I hope we can get him back soon. Altought he has access to the newest technology of this time it still remain a babaric and cruel world. A chapter of mankind's history better forgotten.
There is still this temporal differential that worries me. It seems that for each second passing here, 1 hour is passing in Cascade's timeframe. How is this possible? :confused:
17th Jan 2001, 11:55 AM
We have decided on a plan to capture a m0tard, using a holographic projection of Kilham, so we are now adjusting the shuttle deflector to emit a holographic beam.
I have sent a progress report to 8-4-7-2, as he is probably worried not to have heard from us for a while.
I am preparing to beam abourd the lambda flyer, to do battle with the m0tard who has it. I intend to battle him with guns, as i believe he is heavily armed from our scans.
Kilham thinks i can kick some ass though, and he's let me borrow his new goo gun he made, so that should come in useful. well, gotta go do battle now.
17th Jan 2001, 12:08 PM
Chief Engineer Lt.Commander RizMan's Log, stardate 45647.56
Finally, we managed to capture one of these x-locs with Kilhams plan. I was sure this would work. Now, we gotta get the Lambda flyer back. I hope this won't take to much time, as I got a message from 8-4-7-2 that we got word from CasCade. He included the time signature of his location, so that should be fine. However, there is this problem with the Time difference. This is probably due to a distortion in the Spacetime continuum where we are located, because of the presence of the temporal anomaly. I can't say exactly why yet, but I will investigate this as soon as I'm back to the Eternaty. We gotta check this befor sending an away team or else they will end up somewhere else. I can just hope that we will be able to control the time jump and jump to the exact position where Cas is held prisoner.
But this is all to come, now I gotta focus on getting back the flyer.
18th Jan 2001, 10:21 AM
stardate:July the 1st(what the f*ck am I talking about)
Admril Cascade sent another message through time again and the cap has got that android almost going but I still haven't got my laser gun maybe I should ask about that.... anyway
Beerbaron got some pokemon bone stuck in his arm yesterday when he exploded one of the ugly little things, after pulling it out I laser stiched it up and sent him on his way only to find that damn cat with another pokemon in his mouth. I was gonna just throw the cat out but then I saw that this pokemon was the one that they think is vortex (or at least I think it is) I hailed beerbaron but he still hasn't come to see me I locked the pokenmon in a cage I had laying around and went to dinner giving the cat a little due to the fact he finnaly did something useful.
18th Jan 2001, 05:15 PM
Well, I now stand alone in the control room of the lambda flyer! I beat the m0tard at his own game! He tried to use all sorts of lame tricks, but i was too quick, and managed to pin him down, and then teleport him off the ship! We now have the lambda flyer back!
I'm returning to the Eternaty right now, and i've signalled the shuttle to do the same. Maybe now we'll be able to figure out how to get Admiral Cascade and DeeperShade back from the past.
I think we should try to send the lambda flyer back, as we could then take all the equipment we need for a return journey.
Supplemental : When I beamed the m0tard back to the planet, he was immediately spawn sniped! what a fewl!
Supplemental 2 : My pad's date function got b0rked again in the fight! I don't have any luck with log dates! I'm also gonna have to go to sickbay, I've got a nasty cut on my arm that needs looking at
18th Jan 2001, 05:52 PM
Science officer's log Stardare R4000128mb
Everyone seemed to be getting confused by this time travel thing so I decided to give one of my Temporal anomaly 101 lectures.
I explained that the perception of time in the two independent frames of reference is completeley unconnected, and of no relevance at all. Everything has already happened as far as we are concerned, the distress message could have been received the moment Cascade vanished, as up to that point we existed in a universe where the signal did not exist, but at the moment of his being transported we existed in a different universe where it did.
Things only appear to happen at different rates, we could have rescued him within seconds of his appearing there but obviously didn't as he has been stuck there for months. It could be years for him before we arrive. I would like to explain in detail the mathematical relationship.....
at this poing D-stroya picked up my copy of Quantum physics for dummies and clouted my pointy ears with it. As he's a bit worried about the duel he's about to fight I thought i'd better shut up.
The equipment i'm designing for the rescue mission is too big to be portable, we will need to install it on board the Lambda flyer when it is recovered and send the whole ship and crew back in time. It's not getting there that's the problem. It's getting back.
We've just heard that D-Stroya has won! He has the lambda flyer and we are on the way back to the Eternaty. I can start work installing the time travel equipment as soon as we get back
[Edited by Kilham on January 18th, 2001 at 07:06 PM]
19th Jan 2001, 07:44 AM
Captain's log Stardate 1144587.145
The away team made it back and fully suceeded on the mission we now have a x-loc disc and the Llamda flyer back. D-Stroya had a furious fight with m0tard who captured the Flyer! But he won and is now reovering in sickbay
Kilham is already installing and configuring the time travel equipment in the Flyer. Soon we can take of.
He also explained that Cascade is in a parallel universe totally independent from hours - at least that's what I think he said. As always I didnt understand a word.
I'm now fuguring out who will accompany me on the time travel. I think I will take Merlin as Doc (how obvious), Kilham has walking encyclopidia on time phenomenons, and RizMan as pilot and Engineer. This will leave D-Stroya in command of the ship. But maybe he want to come along too. Then we will set it to autopilot and hope that it is still there when we return
My battlebot is finally finished. It still has the combustion engine. As I didnt find a positronic brain, I build an old and primitive electronic brain. Maybe it will be enough for Vortex.
I heard that Merlin captured a ghost creature pokemon that may be Vortex and brought it to beerbaron. I will ask him if he found anything out about him.
19th Jan 2001, 08:04 AM
Chief Engineer Lt.Commander RizMan's Log, stardate 456789.66
We are finally back from our away mission. D-Stroya managed to win over m0tard and get the lambda flyer back. That's good news, as I would have been sad if this baby would have been lost.
Also, Kilham explained the phenomenon why Cascade is trapped already for months in his time whereas for us he disappeared only few days ago.
Man, why didn't I think of it, that's the basic op physics. Fact is, that the Time isn't an absolute value, but it is relative. For example, when we are travelling at lightspeed (warp 1) for 99 years for a person living on Earth, we only travel during 11 years. It all depends on the point of view. It's what is known as the "Twin Paradoxon". One twin stays on earth, the other one travels for years at warp 1. When he comes back, he's still young, but he's brother/sister is much older.
Well, that's Einsteins theory that was made a few hundred years ago, but it is still at the basics of our physics, except of the fact that we actually can travel faster then light, which formerly was considered impossible due to the socalled Lorentz Factor, a formula which would turn invalid if we travelled at a speed greater then the lightspeed. Well, this is getting somehow far into Theroy of relativity, so I will stop here.
But what is for sure is that when Cas travelled back in time, our whole history changed, also if only unconsiderably. So, in our past, Cas send this rescue S.O.S. message and we receive it today, because he send it to our time-location. Now I hope that now, everything is more or less clear.
Anyway, I'm now working with Kilham on the installation of the Equipement onto the lambda flyer. We should be ready to go in about 2 hours from now. Hopefully, this is going to work as we will only have one chance. If we're gone, there's no way back. I hope the Temporal anomaly is stable on the other side of the tunnel. At least scanners show that this is true, but I already made bad experiences with false scanner results in the past.
19th Jan 2001, 04:34 PM
I'm recovering from the injury sustained in the m0tard battle, but I don't think I will be able to make the time travel, my head is hurting too much from too many lectures on Temporal Physics!
Therefore, I'll stay here and fend off the Starship thieves
19th Jan 2001, 06:26 PM
Tactical officers log
I've woken up in a strange place.. I can see Cascade working on somekinda transmission.. it appears that he has become my personal 'nurse'. I think it may be best if I pretend to be unconsious... these opportunities done come along everyday :D
19th Jan 2001, 09:38 PM
After fixing my little log-maker device thingamagig, I have quite a rather large update for all of us.
Note: pokemon bone when introduced to the human blood stream causes a chemcial reaction that gives you somewhat abnormal hearing and vision. For example, after getting the pokebone outta my arm thx to the doc :), I was spying a rather large cluster of pokemon through decks 5-11. This might prove useful...
Supplemental: /me notices the lack of women on board....
Suplemental II: I need 50lbs of titanium alloy for my next weapon, this might be hard to find...
Suplemental III: We need a bar of somekind....
Suplemental IV: The pokemon are growing stronger somehow, maybe building a resistance to our weapons.
Suplemental V: Good work by the cook, keep it up :)
20th Jan 2001, 09:38 AM
While the crew was away, I had time to take a break from all this food replicating and read up on the current events. It seems that there was a battle at the m0tard, and they aquired some sort of thingamagig. I can't seem to remember much in the past few days, I've forgotten stuff that people say I knew yesterday.
Supple Mental I: Beerbaron has discovered a new formula that includes introducing Pokemon bone fragments into the blood stream. It seems to give you enhanced senses.
Supple Mental II: With the discovery and amount of testing that Beerbaron has been doing, there is quite a large pile of pokemon bodies piling up in deck 16. I've decided to do something about it.
Supple Mental III: While the crew was away, I remembered how to make the perfect New York steak, just the way every crew member likes it. So far, I've only gotten praise, which is good enough for me.
Supple Mental IV: The supply of meat I am using to make the New York steaks are from the pile of dead pokemon on deck 16.
20th Jan 2001, 04:05 PM
Captain's log Stardate 478551,45
Kilhalm and RizMan almost finished the upgrade of the Llamda flyer and we will start in about 1 hour!
Doctor Merlin will come with us. Beerbaron discovered that pokemon bones have a stimulating effect on one's strenght. I say we take a few of them on the mission.
D-Stroya will stay back an command the Eternaty during my absence. He'd better do a good job
As I don't know jack about the space-time-continuum I don't want to disturb them. So I paid another visit to the messhall where Wild2 served yummy steaks. Steaks to die for. Mad probs to the cook! I was a bit, let's say unconfortable, when he told me that it was pokemon steak. But it is so good and popular among the crew that I forgive him.
He told me that he found a pile of pokemon on deck 16, killed by beerbaron. That's weird as the ship only has 15 decks. Well...
My bot is ready, but still no sign of Vortex
Beerbaron suggested that we should have a bar. Great idea! maybe Wild2 can build a bar in one of the unused cargobays on the lower decks. As we still don't have any women on the ship he could install some holographic emitters there
May our eternal quest for females continue...
21st Jan 2001, 12:33 AM
well it seems when pokemon bone is introduced to the human blood stream it acts as a super inhancer but for a suprisingly long time. This is suprising because super inhancers usually only last for an hour tops, this last almost 12. I finnaly found my laser gun it was with my under wear :D and I leave in about an hour so I told wild2 to take care of d-stroya for awhile all he has to do is remember to give him his pills at lunch. BTW:Wild 2 is making excelent steaks with pokemon so far no adverse effects except for a few members of the ship have growing waistlines. I wonder what that primitive time we are to travel back to looks like how does it smell and how does it feel. It'll be strange to be away from this perfectly controled world we live in now I think I better take some anti-depresent in case i get depressed (duh).
Beerbaron still hasn't picked up thhe pokemon that I think is vortex but I hope he'll get around to it by the time I'm back ,I left a note on his door.
21st Jan 2001, 04:54 AM
We had a rather annoying visit today, froma race known as the Scousers. They came up to the eternaty, saying that they were going to steal the ship. Luckilly, we were too strong for them, but the managed to pinch the wheels off the landing gear, and replaced them with bricks.
They also broke into the Captain's quarters, and pinched his radio, so he's going to be pretty annoyed...
21st Jan 2001, 10:07 AM
The captain has given me permission to build a bar, in one of the unused cargo bays. I've already begun construction. As for the holographic emmiters, I need something called quartz crystal. We don't have any of that in our time, but maybe I could leave a note with Doc Merlin to pick some up while he is back in time.
Supplemental I: I've begun to replicate potatoes to go with the steak. It turns out, that these two food items go perfectly well together.
Supplemental II: The Doctor told me to take care of D-Stroya, and give him his pills, but he hasn't told me where they are. Possibly, he left me a note somewhere.
21st Jan 2001, 10:19 AM
Science officer's log Stardare 486sx20
We have returned to orbit m0tard VI to search for the temporal anomaly. The lambda flyer has been modified for dimensional translocation, and as soon as the anomaly can be tracked reliably we will be ready to go.
I notice that the ships crew does not include a cleaner, which explains why the walls of the flyer are still covered in traces of green goo.
I have not yet had time to study the strange effects of pokemon bone but if it was not illogical, i would say i've got a bad feeling about it.
We received a message from D-stroya, the Eternaty has been attacked by a race of scavengers trying to steal bits, but he's doing a good job looking after it. Strange I forgot to ask what the bricks are resting on....
I sent a reply to say if they attack again, use a radio jamming device to deactivate their mobile 'phones' without which they'll be helpless.
21st Jan 2001, 09:00 PM
Starlog: /me orders his watch to work 2.0
Woooohoo, bar work is underway!! I volunteer my services as a bar tender once work is completed :)
I picked up the Vortex-pokemon earlier today, I have yet to figure out what to do with it. Any suggestions are welcome, as of now, it kinda likes watching my holo projector and eating twinkies... hmm.
22nd Jan 2001, 01:26 PM
stardate: even if I could tell yah I wouldn't
I got a note from wild2 saying to pick up some quartz cystals in the time we are traveling to and just as I was about to leave I remembered that I hadn't told wild where d-stroya's pills were and left a note somewhere I think. We are just waiting for the anomoly to appear according to killham so we can travel back and save the admiral, oh yah and deepershade too I geuss. The ship was attacked but the crew fended them off and they only got away with the landing gear and how much does a ship like ours need landing gear, come on? We are also getting a bar wild2 is building it and he has started replicating potatoes with his pokemon steak, THAT is a GOOD dinner. Well killham seems pretty excited so I geuss that means we are off to the past well Wish me luck.
22nd Jan 2001, 04:27 PM
I found the note that Doc Merlin left behind, telling me where D-Stroya's pills are. He left the note in his sock drawer. Construction of the bar is almost complete, Beerbaron confronted me, asking for a job as a bartender. He claims he doesn't want any pay, he'll do it as a volunteer. Yeah, I bet :) He's hired, anyway. Also, Beerbaron has his own holo-projector. Possibly, when the bar is done, we can use that to project a dancing girl on the stage. That ought to be good for everyone, until Doctor Merlin comes back with the quartz crystal I requested... then the party can begin. Now where did D-Stroya get to? I need to give him his pills...
23rd Jan 2001, 07:16 AM
Captains log Stardate **%&//***"§%&%&&
Dammit. While a was asleep scavanger invaded the Eternaty and stole everything that wan't fixed somwhere. They stole my subspace radio with the autograoh of Captain James T. Kirk. Bastards! They will pay for that. Set course for....... eh wait..there was something. Yes, the Admiral.
Kilham's last scans show that a temporal rift will appear 90.000 kilometres stearboard in 1 hour.
The Llamda flyer is fully modified, so me, Merlin, Kilham and RizMan will start soon.
Bar construction is underway and should be completed when we return. We need to get some quartt crystals for the holographic projectors. That has hihgest priority. Well, after rescuing our friends.
Merlin left a note for Wild2 to give D-Stroya his pills. I only hope he doesn't confuse the blue and red ones.
23rd Jan 2001, 12:43 PM
wahey! I finally got my pad fixed! I can now put the stardate on my logs! I think the clocks wrong though :(
I've been working on a way of keeping in constant contact with the team going to the past, and I think I've done it! I need to test once they have entered the rift, but I have high hopes.
Supplemental : The cook's been chasing me all over the ship trying to feed pills to me! I told him I'm OK now, but he wouldn't believe me! someone save me!
23rd Jan 2001, 01:48 PM
vanilla joins the crew of the starship eternaty...
then is fired because she kept trying to fix the spelling on the outside of the ship....
her last words before she was dragged off to a security cell:
"BUT IT'S E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y!!!!"
25th Jan 2001, 04:30 PM
The cook caught me and fed me a pill! I think he got the wrong one! it was a different colour to the one the doc gave me. It made me fall asleep for ages!
Anyway, I've noticed that we gained a crew member! She has been taken aside for disicpline though, as she tried to change the spelling of the ship's name! Everyone knows that in the year 2143 the word Eternaty was changed from eternity!
Oh, and I'm now in charge as the shuttle has departed to the past. Time for a party! I've sent out invitations, on the bridge at 9pm!
25th Jan 2001, 05:47 PM
Captain's log Stardate 666.1337
Kilham and RizMan made some last minute modifications to the flyer, so we and Doc Merlin finally took off. Our mission is clear: Save The Admiral and Lt. DeeperShade, and find some quarz chrystals for the holographoc projector in the bar.
Soon after we left the shuttlebay, Kilham found the first sign of an opening temporal rift in the orbit of the planer, As we got the x-loc disk RizMan was able to adjust our shieldfrequency or something like that. All this technobabble made me really hungry. Perhaps I can eat a nice 20th century pizza soon.
Anyway, we flew into the rift and after a short, but shaky passage, came out on the other end, where we saw earth!
We must be carful now as there are already primitive surveillence satelites in that time.
Scans show that the Admiral send his signal from a place on the northern American continent called Redmond. We will start our search for him and DeeperShade there
Shortly before I left I noticed that we got a new crewmember. A woman! w00t! Maybe I'll get the personal assisstant I always wanted now. Privilege of the Captain
25th Jan 2001, 06:55 PM
I just finished construction of the bar, Beerbaron is working there, "serving" the customers. He agreed to let us use the holographic projector for entertainment purposes, in exchange for a drink now and then. And, it's been now and then alot here, apperantly, because it seems like BeerBaron's had a bit to drink. All I can say is, in least he's happy and is staying out of trouble.
I managed to track D-Stroya down, I fed him a red pill, just like the one that a friend of mine, Neo, ate before he became master of the matrix... no, wait. That was a dream. But, I did manage to feed D-Stroya a pill. I think it was the right one because he fell asleep instantly. He's awake now, I guess, because I can't find him where I left him. I wonder what Doc Merlin is going to think about this.
28th Jan 2001, 12:45 AM
Stardate:Who the f*ck knows in this primitive place
So far we have been unlucky in finding the admril and DeeperShade, The captian says to keep my spirits up but its so smogy and polluted this air I can hardly breath for fear of my lungs being poisoned. Luckly I remembered to grab some anti depresents before i left the ship, unfortunatly I lost them and had to go buy some from one of these primitive stores. All they could give me was this stuff called prozac. I haven't had any yet because we only replicated a little bit of 20th century money and these pills are expensive.
On a side note captian said there is a female crew member now (where the f*ck did she come from) maybe I'll get that nurse I so desperatly need ;)
28th Jan 2001, 04:57 PM
Science officer's log Stardare 8088-4.77
We have successfully travelled through the rift and appear to have travelled back to the year 2000, as the calendar of that time defined it. It was close, as we all sat watching the computer plotted anomaly matching closer to the scanners results of the real thing, waiting for our captain to give the famous order 'Make it go' the flyer tipped to one side, throwing our calculations out. Just in time we compensated for the strange appearance of a Snorlax in the starboard cargo bay. I intend to dump it as soon as we reach Earth.
The flyer needs cleaning up, I launched a temporal beacon to mark the exact point of departure, and noticed from the remote camera that the name 'Lambda' had been crossed out and "Hyperblast' scrawled on.
We're now searching for a suitable site to set up base. I have recommended landing the flyer, as I don't want to risk leaving it in orbit under computer control. It is out only way back.
28th Jan 2001, 06:58 PM
Hmm, this astro-beer is pretty damn good, and it seems to be pleasing my customers. Yay me :) I think the server for my little message maker dealy updated somehow, I no longer have color emoticons and its blue and yellow everywhere.... oh well, must make due w/ what I have :)
Note: I could use maybe one more person in the bar to do special drink orders or keep the flow of booze at a constant rate :)
28th Jan 2001, 07:23 PM
Tactical Officers Log
Star Date 2342.. Saturday... aroun lunchtime.
I sense a rescue party is on it's way.. I can smell 8472's B.O.
The smell is overwealming..
29th Jan 2001, 06:27 AM
Beerbaron's been a little "hazy" the past few days, but all-in-all he's a pretty good volunteer "employee". He's rambled on about needing another person at the bar to help us out, and I agree. I'm sometimes in the back, too busy cooking, to be out with the customers serving beer all the time when they want food, as well. Maybe someone can make a few adjustments to a holoprojector to create a "semi-here" woman to work the bar and serve drinks. That's when the away team gets back with the quartz crystals, unless Beerbaron wouldn't mind making a sacrifice of his holoprojector right now to create "semi-here" objects.
Supple mental I: I've given up on giving D-Stroya his pills. He claims that he is fine now, I didn't want to lose one of my biggest customers, so he is free to do whatever he wants, and I'll stay away with the pills. I just hope it's what the doctor prescribed.
29th Jan 2001, 04:34 PM
*deepershade regains conciousness just long enough to bump this thread back up to the top.... *
Tactical Officer of the USS Eternaty
Captain of the USS Eternaty
Oi! If you actually managed to rescue me and CasCade we may actually be able to get this thread flowing properly again.. I dont like this world... it smells and there are strange people here...
29th Jan 2001, 05:11 PM
I've been feeling really sleepy since getting those pills, thankfully the acting doc has stopped chasing me with them now!
The communication device I tried, to keep in contact with the away team has failed. It blew the transmitter when Beerbaron re-wired the power so he would get more juice to the bar, he mumbled something about needing lap dancers...
Anyway, I'm going down to the bar for a drink.
Oh yeah, on a side note, archeologists on earth have discovered a long lost pad from the eternaty, containing a memo from DeeperShade to the captain. So at least we know he's alive! he says Cascade's there too, so the away mission's not for nothing.
29th Jan 2001, 05:33 PM
Chief Engineer Lt.Commander RizMan's Log, stardate 456789.16
We have finally reached the time-location where Cascade and DeeperShade are being kept for months. Well, for us it's only a few days ago, but hey, who cares.
8-4-7-2 was worried about these primitive observation sats they have in orbit, but that won't be a problem. I just need to fix some holoemitters outside the Flyer and they will reproduce what the sat's would see if we weren't there. As for the heat detection: some changes here and there and everything will be fine. Should only take about a few minutes. I don't even need to hide the warp signature. Really primitive :) Also, it seems that there is something like a space station floating around. The infamous MIR I think. The first orbital station mankind ever build.
Anyway, I am now to land the flyer in a hidden spot on earth. I'll try to find some space in the region of Redmond, where Cas's distress call came from. Somehow I know this place. I remember hearing about it in "General History of Computer Science". A lecture given by Prof. Gilly Bates at Academy. Very stupid guy indeed. He talked some trash about some OS they developed there. He claimed that it was the best ever made, but records show that it was one of the worst ever made.
Anyway, I need to land this baby now and stop talking trash about history.
We need to be successful in this mission if we ever want to come back, as I won't leave without my lost friends. Therefore, I gotta focus now.
31st Jan 2001, 10:40 AM
Captain's log Stardate 145592.112
We successfully arrived in the year 2000. RizMan has hidden the Llamda Flyer from the observation satellites in the orbit. I decided it would be best to land. Admiral Cascade's distress signal came from a town called Redmond in Silicon Valley. RizMan landed the flyer some kilometers away in the forests.
Some historcal study revealed in this era, this place is the headquaters of a software company trying to gain world domination, by selling crappy operating systems full of trojan horses. It's name: Microsoft
First strange thing: when we arrived at the main building there was a sign with the company name. But it was overwritten by graffiti and says "m0rcosoft" now. If I only knew what that is about.
Getting past the guards was child's play. A federation minimum security prison has better security measures.
Soon we reached the main work area where will begin our search for the Admiral and DeeperShade.
This place is one big nutshouse. Instead of doing the necessary work, all employees prefer to download monkey porn and music from some kind of global network. And that with the insanely slow speed of 300Kb/s. This is like the stoneage; I can't believe our men managed to survive here for a few months.
2nd Feb 2001, 11:28 AM
I have just been browsing through old newspaper reports, and have found a report of a spaceship landing in the 20th century. The picture looks identical to the lambda flyer, so it looks like the away team have arrived safely in the past.
We have been hailed by the USS mentallity, they have asked us to help them fight their enemies, the phorg.
I've said we will, as i'm bored and can't think of anything better to do.
5th Feb 2001, 12:10 AM
stardate:WAY TO EARLY IN THE F*CKING MORNING
Our beloved captain has woken us up when it is still dark because he belive he has found our missing friends. He says that he was looking at the newspaper (which is actually paper its kinda cool) and he saw something about a super intellegent coder for that primitive computer company "Microsoft" who did not want his picture shown. The beloved captian decided that this was important enough to wake all of us up before sunrise to tell us he thinks this is the admiral.
I was told to go get those quartz crystals that beerbaron asked for and was given the last of our earth money because 8-4-7-2 decided we would be leaving in a few days . I then pointed out to him that if deepershade was hurt, I am the doctor and should be around when we find him. So rizman, with a few choice words for the captian, headed off very early in the morning to go find quartz crystals and the captian, kilham and I set out to find deepershade and the admiral.
BTW: this prozac is some good sh*t!!!!!
9th Feb 2001, 05:11 PM
Science officer's log Stardare Z80-4
Well it's been a busy couple of days and not much time to update the log. We landed the flyer and have hidden it in a forest using holoprojectors. Should be OK if nobody walks into it.
We replicated suitable clothing and some money and have set up a base in the closest city. First thing we did was buy some local newspapers, we need to know what's happening here to keep our cover intact, but i was amused to see a report of a 'flying saucer' landing nearby.
I've interfaced my new portable computer to the worldwide 'network' ha ha - with some difficulty. The new 10Tb subspace link wasn't much use and i had to build an optical interface to connect it at an unbelievable 56Kb.
They still use electrons to carry data, this is incredibly primitive! It's lucky that in a few years from this time they will make contact with aliens who will share some of their technology.
Anyway, after searching this network, we found Cascade had been working for a company called Micro$oft. Their database was very strange, and seemed to be almost all bug reports and code patches. They haven't even learned how to write a simple bug-free operating system yet!.
We're about to visit them to find Cas. Our chief engineer has gone shopping to find a few things that aren't available in our time. I said anything he wants to get is OK as long as he doesn't bring any whales back.
10th Feb 2001, 01:18 PM
The crew has been very sleepy lately, they have appeared to be "drugged" or something and have experienced a large amount of euphoria. I think this may be a side effect of eating pokemon meat. I don't eat my own cooking, I prefer to replicate pizza, but if my steak is what's making the crew feel so good, then I may have to start eating my own cooking. Either that, or stop the pokemon steak thing and start replicating pizza for the crew to get them off this "drug".
Supple mental I: I think the captain would want to get the crew off the pokemon steak and onto regular old replicated food. I'll throw away all the pokemon meat right away.
Supple Mental II: Beerbaron is a great bartender. I've made him manager of the bar room, while I run the kitchen in the back. He's drawn quite a crowd of people with his 1337 bartending moves, just like in an old movie I watched once, "Cocktail." I just wish we had more holoprojectors to have more women here.
10th Feb 2001, 02:07 PM
Captain's log Stardate 45645545.445
Doc Merlin wasn't to happy about the walking. As if I have time to care about that. The fate of hundreds of people lies in my incapable hands. So I bitched him to keep walking.
We are now roaming the insanley mad work halls of Mircosoft. In the credits of this crappy OS they work one we found Admiral Cascade's name. But still no sign of him. Moment...no I have an ingenious idea: we could use the tricorders to scan for Lorg implant frequences.
Why didn't I think of that earlier?
However when I studied I found something interesting. There is a computer game here called Unreal Tournament. It has a really crappy graphic engine. An artificial 3D environment on a 2D screen. How primitive. But the point is that his has a unbelievable similarity to the holo deathmatch we all love! Despite the crappy graphics I can't stop to play it.
Set phasers to frag - out -
10th Feb 2001, 05:37 PM
Had a wild party last night, bridge is a bit of a mess though, and one of the consoles got smashed.
Somehow, beerbaron ended up in the brig...
anyway, i released him, as no-one could remember him commiting any crime.
10th Feb 2001, 09:37 PM
Starlog: Where the **** am I? What happened? Is this my blood?
Question: Just how the hell did I get in the brig? I didnt do anything!!! Oh well, back to my bar 0wning skillz.
15th Feb 2001, 05:43 PM
Science officer's log: Stardate Z80-4-Supple_mental
I believe we may have located Admiral Cascade but i can't get 8472's attention. THe signal appears to be moving out of the building, and we will lose contact very soon but 8 is obsessed by a program on one of these primitive computers. He tries to carry a blue flag around a simulated 3d map but drops it after a couple of seconds and has to start again. He's been doing this for hours now, i'm surprised our fake ID's and disguises have remained undetected for this long but..........
In desperation i unplugged some cables from the back of the machine.
'Nooooooo i was nearly back to base with it......'
'Where am I?'
16th Feb 2001, 05:15 PM
Stardate: Who the f*ck cares
Our captian decided that walking off some of this fat I have worked hard for over the years would be a good idea. We have been walking all freakin day and I think my feet fell off an hour ago. Of course our captian decided that he needed to sit at a primitive terminal and play a game for hours on end while making the rest of us stand and watch finnaly killham pulled some cords and informed our easil distracted by shiny things captian that the admrils siggnal was moving away from us and would soon fade then we would have to find him all over again.
At that point he decided to kill us with more walking leading me to belive he is the evil President George Bush's (started wars with just about every single country in the world) decendent. anyway we walked and walked and finnaly the admirals signal stoped and didn't move we came tot he building where he stoped and decided to go find him and deepershade.
We rode a primitive hyperlift up to the floor the admiral was on and knocked on his door finding Deepershade unconcious on the floor I rushed to him and did some scans and found out the llittle bugger was just faking it. No one being in need of my service I found something to sit on and promptly fell asleep so I have no idea what went on but when I woke up we were going back to the flyer and the captian relived of command wass playing that stupid game on a portable unit called supposedly a laptop.
well I geuss that sums it up we are on our way back to the flyer but this time we don't have to walk we are taking a primitive vehicle called a bus.
6th Mar 2001, 05:48 PM
huh? what happened? I just woke up, and it seems almost a month has passed! this must be investigated!
6th Mar 2001, 06:38 PM
There is a rumor going around that the ship entered a time-fold and we've been all been "asleep" for the past month. I investigated around the kitchen area where I was before I fell "asleep" and found a note that said "I sexx0red you up", whatever that means. Could it be that an alien race took advantage of us in our lifeless forms while we were not here? Another thing, my legs feel funny when I walk.
10th Mar 2001, 06:45 AM
Captain's log Stardate 1 month after my last entry
Something weird is going on here. The clocks show that at least one month past since we last made logs. Last thing I remember was playing this kickass computer game. Then my dumb crew decided it was more important to save our missing crew man than playing that. Right when I was about to make the most important cap the screen went black. Kilham stood smiling besides tossing some cables. What a llama. If we make it back there will be a court martial, I swear! That's munity! I'm the Captain! Noone can tell me when to do anything (Except Admiral Cascade maybe)
However we took a lift to one of the upper floor, found the Admiral - who programmed blue screens of death into on archaic piece of software - and an unconscious DeeperShade sleeping under his desk.
We took both with us, and left the building. Doc Merlin already gave me dangerous looks for all the walking. So I though we could take one if this combustion engine powered vehicels called bus back. Despite the lethal level of carbon monoxide and other gases produced, and the bad confort it is still better than walking.
btw, I took one of those computers and a copy of the game with me before we left.
11th Mar 2001, 02:28 PM
While most of the crew were sleeping last night, the ship got pulled through some sort of temporal vortex! I've tried analysing the star data, but..
We are in the same time as captain 8-4-7-2 and the rest of the away team! I'm picking up a signal from them, and it's not being sent through time! I've replied, and set a course for earth. we'll just have to figure out how to get the eternaty back once we've picked up the others!
26th Mar 2001, 03:54 PM
We are now in orbit of the Palnet Earth, i'm attempting to establish contact with the away team, but our comms aray is damaged. i'm trying to patch through a signal using primative radio waves
26th Mar 2001, 06:43 PM
Well it seems that the eternity got pulled back in time with the rest of us we got a "Radio" message from them telling us they were orbiting the earth. Killham flew us and the flyer up to the ship were we docked had a joyus reunion and got pissed while the captian played the primitive earth game some more
27th Mar 2001, 02:50 PM
My COM. system is down and I am stuck in the sonic shower with this young ensign! We were (mostly me) Saluting each other when the communication system went down!!!
Where is all this water coming from???/
28th Mar 2001, 03:02 AM
w00t!!! we have been rescued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
finaly my 0ld crew has been able to get t this time fram and get out out of this friggin mess!!!!!
i could stand the slow connects and comps much more!
now i am back on llambda flyer on our way to meet up with the eternaty in our 0wn times frame, but WTF??????
is that the eternaty???????
we wherent suppost to be back in our time yet.....
the temporal rift wont be open for an other day...
how the **** is this possible????????????????
this need in vestegation...
OH NOT! not more wierd thingss showwing up on sensor......
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! THERE ARE EXPLOSION ON THE THE OUT SIDE OF THE SHIP!!!!!!
*rizmans voice* SOME ONE SET UP US THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*kilhams voice* WE GET SIGNAL!!!!!!!!!!!
MAIN SCREEN TURN ON!!!
*computer voice* how are you gentleman
*computer voice* All your base are belong to us!
*computer voice* you are on the way to destruction
WHAT YOU SAY??????????
*computer voice* there is no change to survieve, make your time!
*computer voice* hahaha........
*kilhams voice* ADMIRAL!!!!!!!
take out all 'zig'
you know what you do!!!!
for great justice.......
-.. Admiral CaSCaDe out.................
28th Mar 2001, 06:22 AM
It appears that after we had all entered the time rift our metabolisms had sped up. Suddenly I have gained an immense knowledge in the arts of the greasy burger. While flippin through old history books it appears that what I now know how to cook is McDonalds. With this new-found knowledge I can finally call the restaurante a first class restaurante. Everyone seems to agree, so far, no body can seem to stay away from the place for long. We serve alcohol here, still, as you can see by looking at Beerbaron over there. Give him a few hours and he'll wake up.
15th Apr 2001, 04:00 AM
Captain's log Stardate we are in a temporal anomaly so screw it
We are finally back to the Eternaty. Admiral Cascade is happy to have escaped that babaric time. Deepshade seems to suffer from posttraumatic stress. The unconciousness could be a protection from the ordeal. But I'm Captain no counselor. So I sent him to sickbay with Doc Merlin.
We were not too late for the next trouble. The Eternaty is under attack from unknown entities.
Our crew beamed the whole flyer on board and I took command back from D-Stroya who has been an excellent replacement captain.
The strangers are spamming us with stuff like "All your base are belong to us". What kind of sh*t is that?! I don't find that funny.
"All men the battle stations. Tactical: Ready torpedoes and phaser. Lock on target. Fire on my command. Attack pattern Sigma-Omega-3559.56. Conn: prepare evasive maneuvers, pattern Alpha-Blabla. All hands brace for impact. FOR GREAT JUSTICE!"
The bar is running fine. Beerbaron is constantly drunk. At least he won't bugger me this way.
As soon as this is over I will play my game again and leave the command to D-Stroya again. He can call me if we are 10 seconds before a warpcore breach. But the doctor is already giving me strange looks.
15th Apr 2001, 11:55 AM
Stardate: Sometime before this **!)_(U$(_*& headache goes away
Deepershade is still unconcius and Beerbaron is going to need a new liver soon but I'm the one with the killer headache.......geuss I was wrong about drinking "Just enough" last night.......OUCH!.......Move my head too quick there.
Deepershade should survive but he won't ever be normal again (Funny how he never seemed normal before maybe when he wakes up he WILL be normal) but right now he needs sleep and a little relaxation so I've turned off all the lights (for his benifit and mine) and turn off the ships com ( again for both of us it seems the captian likes broadcasting his primitive computer games over the shipwide com) hopefully I won't have to find Beerbaron a new liver soon or at least until we get back to our time...
BTW Wild is making the best burgers but it seems that these burgers are known for clogging arteries so I geuss I should warn everyone about the health implications there.......nah they'll live I hope.
8th May 2001, 01:51 PM
Science officer's log: Stardate 6800-1
Just when we thought it was over and we could go home to our own time, things go wrong again.
After successfully completing our rescue mission we cleared old Earth's orbit and immediately discovered the Eternaty had travelled back here, and was under attack.
We were transported aboard by our replacement captain, as he realized the Lambda flyer would have no chance to survive if left outside.
Only by using our new secret weapon, the 'Zero Inverse Graviton' torpedoes were we able to destroy the attackers. Now that we are once again safe I have been able to piece together what happened.
Seems that a cloaked Lorg ship was spying on our time-travel experiments and after analyzing our journey back using the Lambda flyer they were able to duplicate it, but creating a much larger hole for their Volvo-like ship to pass through, pulling the Eternaty with them.
Luckily they discovered their mistake and tried to destroy us first, or they might have quietly slipped through and landed on Earth. The damage they could have caused to our history is frightening, but at least they are destroyed now.
Hmm is it just me or is it getting warmer in here?. Where's the maintenance department when you need them.
8th May 2001, 03:45 PM
I went to see whom I thought was the doctor... I'm confused. It looks like the rest of the crew is confused as well. Am I captain of the m0tard? Is that p0kemon the captain of the Starship Eternaty? In making an educated guess I would say we are suffering from a severe case of confusion. Maybe someone should call the crew together for a meeting to get things straightened out? I don't know!!!
9th May 2001, 11:18 AM
Captain's log Stardate 666.8472
A Lorg ship followed the Eternaty through the temporal vortex back to the 20th century. Luckily they were destroyed before they could inflict any damage to the time line. At least we didn't notice any. But then we should only notice it when we get back to our time. Mhh...temporal mechanics is confusing. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard if I hadn't slept during the lesson at Starfleet Acedemy. Hey, I'm Captain no engineer. I have my crew for that stuff! So I ordered Kilham to work out a plan for creating a temporal wake which brings us back. I also told him to polarize our hull with an inverse magneton pulse, as there are already primitive spy satellites in earth's orbit. This should keep us invisible.
With this done I went back to my quarters to take a shower, but the dismal didn't end. First I bang my head against the door because it didn't open automatically; then the water is ice cold. Also the temperature was quite high. 39.1° Celsius....excactly the temperature on a Lorg cube....ah...that can only be coincidence...but why is Beerbaron giving out crowbars to the crew? Weird. So I tried to install Unreal Tournament on our ship's computer, thinking I would at least get a million fps. But I got something called "General Protection Fault" and then a "Blue Screen of Death". Never heard of those. Then I saw that there was a programm called Windows in the data bank. How did that get there?! I want Linux back! What is going on here?
21st May 2001, 04:52 PM
The away team is back on board, and 8-4-7-2 is back in charge. We had a slight problem with a pesky lorg ship, but we destroyed it. personally, i found the cal i recieved on the comm system more threatening, it was from someone calling himself a double glazing salesman, and he must have been the 20th century's most feared weapon! he was sooo dull! and i would like to know how he hacked into our comm system too. i think it's to do with this windows thing that's invaded our computers, there were some reports of security issues...
Oh, and kilham says it's getting a bit warm, so i sent one of those red coated ensigns that always gets killed to investigate
21st May 2001, 05:16 PM
Well, it seems were finally back aboard the Eternaty.. I still dont know what happened but from what the nurse has been telling me, it appears that the crew went through something called 'a bad storyline'.
I've been assigned light duties and have to see a pherapist everyday to try and come to terms with what happened... strange thing is, I dont know what happened so I just mumble and she nods knowingly.
I still wonder at what exactly a tactical officer does. So far im just a useful plot element but surely I do more than sit around and look pretty :)
Anyway, Ive got to go mumble at the pherapist....
21st May 2001, 07:39 PM
well, that battle went badly. we were attacked by little yellow things and stuff, anyway we got beaten and ive ordered the Nautilus to hide in uncharted space. the Dratyon nebula, i know ships have been lost there and we can't afford to lose the flagship but ive got to protect my crew and the kingdom. we need more fighters as well, we are running out of materials to build them and we have no pilots. we are stuffed untill we shake off these yellow things and get near a starbase.
also the logging machine has been acting strangley and cutting me................................/end
supplemental: we traced the problem to the central computer core. engineering is tryin to get the shields back up and hull repaired after our spindrive failed in the middle of a asteroid field. we are hiding in a binary star system, its producing enuff radiation to hide a mile long ship. we detected a ion trail leveing the system. could this be another spacefaring race? and if so i do hope they aren't cute lil' cats.
supplemental 2: we detected a ship in distress, a battel it appears. we have hailed them and said we are assisting. as soon as we get clear of arion iv we'll be at maxinum speed. we have left nuclear space mines behind to stop anything pursuin us.
21st May 2001, 09:02 PM
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Captain, Im picking up some really wierd signals... Its like someone from a ship called the Hydran destroyer Nautilus. He seems to be their captain"
Captain8472: "Are they within communication range?"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Yes sir. They're so close that Admiral Cascade has put on a space suit and is outside, urinating on their hull.... I've really got to say this sir. The Admiral is a little wierd dont you think? I mean he's actually trying to shortcircuit their ship by weeing in the fusion reactor ducts.."
Captain8472: "Never mind about that. So they are within communication range?"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Yes sir"
Captain8472: "Well, if they're within communcation range then they are also within weapons range. Lock on and fire"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "BUT SIR!...."
Captain8472: "But nothing. Lock on and fire! Oh.. and try and hit the Admiral while your at it.. I need a promotion..."
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Yes Sir! ... Locked on... FIRING!!...... DIRECT HIT SIR!"
Captain8472: "How bad are they hit?"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "The computer says that we took out the MedLabs, the Recreation bay, two Storage holds and we also managed to knock the fluffy dice off its hook.."
Captain8472: "What exactly does that mean Deep?"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Well, It means that they have major hull breaches on most decks, will find it hard to attend to the wounded but it does mean that they'll have a slightly more tasteful cockpit."
Captain8472: "Right, come around and fire again..."
*The enemy ship explodes*
Captain8472: "On second thoughts, just take a few more potshots at the Admiral"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "With pleasure sir!"
21st May 2001, 09:07 PM
The ship is alive with the sound of music. That and tactical officer DeeperShade has resumed doing whatever it is tactical officers do. We missed him, nobody had seen him around for a while.
With the destruction of the Hydran Nautilus the crew has reason to celebrate. So do I, they are partying in my bar like it was 1099. Party on, d00ds. Turn me a tidy profit.
22nd May 2001, 01:45 AM
I looked into the sky tonight through this new gravometric whatchamahoochie telescope I bought in old man Jimmy's shop, and suddenly, I could see a huge glowing starship; like something from "Ster Trak". I tuned my Quartz-enhanced radio on (which old dude Jimmy also sold me) on and pointed the antenna towards the ship; suddenly I was receiving the recorded messages of some kind of people, possibly the starship's crew!
Piecing together these messages, I was able to derive that some seriously weird s**t had been going on involving alcohol, time warping, ghosts, and oddly enough, real incarnations of the popoular children's phenomenon, Pokemon. There was also some stuff about rescuing their captain and Tactical officer from our primitive culture (primitive? What the hell, I just got DSL and it rox0rz!!).
Naturally, this intrigued me greatly. All my friends taunted me when I told them the TV show Ster Trak was real, and they never believed me. Society here doesn't understand me. I wish the ship would land around here somewhere and take me onboard, even if I have to be the potato peeler or whatever the lowest job is on a starship. I'm sure it'd be some good times. I'm gonna try to contact 'em with this fusion-powered gamma wave transmitter Old Guy Jimmy sold me, maybe they'll respond.
22nd May 2001, 10:04 AM
finally catching up with alien ship, we decided to send the remote frigate in. well a very odd species of humans. they delivered "waste" onto our remote ship and destroyed it. ive sent them the bill. and we are heading back to the drayton nebula. i don't think they are pursuing us. gawd this is a bloody big ship, a mile long. with 12,456 torpedoes with 16 launchers, 200,000 meson lasers, antimatter guns. id doubt they'd stand a chance anyway..... y the hell don't i hunt them down for destroyin my frigate....... im giving htem one last chance if we see them again. we are a peaceful race and we don't like our ships being used as public toilets.
supplmental: we have determined that the aliens chasin us across the galaxy are "pokemon" we still dunno wtf they are or how to destroy them. but we are remaining ahead of them. we need to land somewhere and get energy reserves back up before we start up the SpinDrive system again.
22nd May 2001, 12:08 PM
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Sir, We've examined the wreckage and it seems that it was just a decoy. No remains of the crew were found"
Captain8472: "Yes, I know"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Erm.. you know? but how sir?"
Captain8472: "Ive been reading your monitor over your shoulder... oh and stop looking at pr0n..."
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "That was not pr0n sir! They were... erm.. well.. ah.. oh... i see.."
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Sir! Im picking up a large ship on our radars.... they... omg.. its huge sir!"
Captain8472: "Yes.. yes it is.. Hmm... Its time to bring out the big guns..."
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Sir... you cant mean.."
Captain8472: "Yes, I do."
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "BUT SIR! THATS JUST SADISTIC!"
Captain8472: "Yes, Yes it is. MWAH HA HA HA *cough* sorry, got a bit carried away there... Load them into the torpedo bays"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Yes sir.. but I want it noted that I think this idea is sadistic, cruel, and above all, totally totally brilliant.."
Captain8472: "So noted. Fire when ready"
TacOfficerDeeperShade: "Torpedo bay's loaded. FIRING!.... ... DIRECT HIT SIR! THEY ARE GONE!"
*big cheer from the crew*
Captain8472: "See, I told you that using the Spice Girls as torpedo's would work.. Good job people."
22nd May 2001, 12:11 PM
Captain's log Stardate who really cares about that?
An alien ship entered the solar system. Assuming they wanted to destroy the federation by eliminating mankind in the past, I gave order to attack. Screw the prime directive. Noone will ever know about this.
Our new scan-jammer worked, and returned false information about us. Any enemy thinks, we are a weapon overloaded mile long ship, while we are just a tiny Intrepid class starship with a 150 men crew (note "men": We still don't have suitable female personal! I'm turning gay if the continues).
Admiral Cascade had a fruity and went for a spacewalk to piss at the enemy vessel. I tried to scare him a bit, by firing over his head. Deepershade might have confused this a bit, and fired directly at him. I think he didn't get a full hit at the admiral, so I hope he isn't too angry at me.
Anyways Deepershade told me with his usual technobabble that the ship was destroyed. But then he did a quick scan (during which I found out that he surfs pr0n sites while working. We need to install a filter software), saying it was only an unmanned drone ship. Then a really huge vessel approached on an intercept course. Deepershade had some scruple about using our new secret weapon: spice girl torpedos. But that's not surpising with this fresh-of-the-acedemy-never-been-in-a-war-no-fighting-experience newbie Tactical Officer. One shot blew them to shreds. Ha! That will teach them!
As I didn't get UT to work, I linked my pad into earth's television system. But 1 million channels and only garbage. No wonder television didn't survive world war 3. But suddenly something weird caught my attenention. A news report about an hobby astronome spotting an alien spacecraft in earth's orbit. The image was really primitive, but it was no doubt OUR ship! I imedialtly ordered a orbit. If necessary we can hide behind the moon.
The same news showed a man called Bill Gates introducing a operating system named Windows ME. In the presentation he had a general protection fault. Too funny. But that's the same program I found on the ship's computer, with the same error.
Things are getting more and more weird....
22nd May 2001, 01:15 PM
Ok, i'm going to f**king KILL my little sister! That b!tch ready my diary and went and told the local newspaper, who then sold the story to a top news company. Now everyone knows I spotted an alien ship; luckily no one believes me. Still, I think this may have destroyed my chances of joining the ship's crew (or at least getting to write a side part in this thread).
The ship disappeared at any rate, which I assume means it went back to whatever time it originated. I say "time" because I read the word "Eternaty" writty on its hull which was obviously in English although they did spell "Eternity" incorrectly. Strange that such an advanced culture could make a mistake like that.
Looks like it's back to watching ster trak and getting made fun of; maybe I should try one last radio message into space just for the hell of it.
22nd May 2001, 04:15 PM
grrrrrr, the alien ship did not listen, caused somekind of spatial rift in our singularity power source. we are in an isometric spatial rift, possibly not in our universe. our shields were unless, can only means they are using projectile weaponary. somethings draining our power outside. we also captured one of them, who tried to "pass water" on our hull, he's in the brig and will remain in stasis until we get out of this temporal rift.
no sign of the other ship.
22nd May 2001, 06:38 PM
I got very very drunk during the celebrations. We managed to haul the body of their captain aboard.. for some reason his mind was still active although his body was dead and so we loaded him into the Holobay's computer so that he can live his life out. We even made him think that he got away but sadly its just not true
Well.. I have to go sleep with one of the holoh0's ;)
22nd May 2001, 08:27 PM
The crew is celebrating again. This time over the speculated desctruction of the real Hydran Nautilus. There are still parts of it floating around outside... lemme check again.
*Chez WiLD2 pulls the cord of his "Hello Barbie" window blinds and looks outside*
Yep, there are still parts flying around.
I saw DeeperShade and Admiral Kilham a while ago. I don't think either of them even know where they are. DeeperShade asked if he could sign out one of the holographic projectors I've got in the back of the bar. My policy is "No questions asked" as long as I get it back clean, and in one piece... not like that time Capt 8-4-7-2 borrowed one. It took me a whole lot of spit and elbow grease to get that "Mayonaise; honest!" fluid off of it.
Come to think of it, there goes DeeperShade now. I don't see the Admiral anywhere. I wonder where he went.
Whoo, I need to sit down. Did I say Kilham was the admiral? No, I see him over there in the holo-lapdance room.
Supplemental: I just got back from the Doc's quarters and he says I'm still suffering from confusion. There's a case of it still going around. All-in-all, our Admiral, whoever he is, is missing.
24th May 2001, 05:05 PM
there are emos odd things going no here, first fo all, it sems that eht spelling goes backwards on the sgol occasionally.
Wild2 saw heard referring to Kilham sa being an admiral earlier. i kniht he was mistaken, and confusing kilham htiw cascade.
I'm worried about woh vioent edahSrepeeD is getting, fair enough, that ship posed a problem, but the Spice Girls? i t'nod think anyone dluoc deserve a etaf that bad!
Oh, and it smees that the lorg originated ereh on earth! i found secart of lorg technology in a building known as tfosorcim headquarters, so i think i'll lead a team to investigate siht erofeb we return to our nwo time
1st Jun 2001, 07:59 AM
Captain's log Stardate too drunk
Whoohoo. That was a victory celebration in the bar! Complete with beer and holostrippers. When I left at 6 am I got lost on one of the lower decks. I was really drunk, so I don't remember much. But what I know is that there was strange green stuff over the walls and some machine people running around. When I wanted to invite one of these dudes to to the party you got mad a mumbled something along "You will be masticated. Resitance is futile" and jumped towards me. I manages to chew off his arm and ran away. I sent one of this unnamed ensigns who always get killled to investigate that and am now heading to sickbay, to get something against my hangover
I also told First Officer D-Stroya that I plan to send an away team to m0crosoft headquaters again, as this General Protection Faults and computer incidents get out off hand
4th Jun 2001, 05:35 PM
Hmm, due to that unstable cr*p o/s that we have picked up, we've been infected with a virus! It got in through one of the many security holes in this m0crosoft sh*t. Well, it seems we had best go to earth, and get a virus killer. And a copy of linux while we're there! we might be able to adapt it to run the old computer system, as we were using linux 568.864 before we travelled back. whatever version they have here, we should be able to re-program a bit.
Oh, and we must make more regular log updates!
4th Jun 2001, 06:25 PM
<Infamous Analogous Voice>
We are coming to take you away DeeperShade...
</Infamous Analogous Voice>
4th Jun 2001, 07:14 PM
[not well known song]
haha, to the funny farm where....
[/not well known song]
4th Jul 2001, 12:58 PM
After finally getting my diary pad online, i can tell you about whats been going on in the ship.
I heard something about an alien being on the ship, though i think its a sensor error again, like the time the sensors caught britney spears naked in a bath tub full of pokemon.
I heard loud noises yesterday above me, and minutes later some weird stench came in to my quarters, smelled like tequila.
Damn, yellow elert, wonder whats going on
Ensign Stryker signing of
4th Jul 2001, 01:13 PM
i'm locking this thread for now, until it's fate is decided
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