[PHIL-ISH POST] Do you wipe standing up or sitting down!?

[phatcat]

I rember when me and some friends where driving to Mickey-D's for some latenight grub, and John pop'ed a funny ass question. Do you wipe standing up or down :D

I won't reveal my or any friends responces just yet :D

[TWD]

wtf why would wipe standing up? It's easier sitting down...

[OM {god}]

its so hard to wipe sat down! dont be silly TWD
mind you i suppose its what your used to
take masterbation for example
left or right! its all what ur used to :D

[TomWithTheWeather]

Do you reach between your legs or do you lean forward and reach around behind/beside?

[phil]

WTF? whiping while you sit? what kind of crap is that?

[TWD]

wow I always just assumed everyone did it the same way sitting down and from behind...I've never even thought about doing it any other way.

[OM {god}]

i guess i sorta stand up but squat a bit!

lol!
arnt i a nice person talkin bout how i wipe my ass!

[Twisted Metal]

I stand up and do it, how the hell can you do it while sitting? That sounds painful.

[PhrozeN]

just take a shower its easier.... assuming you ate bad mexican food :morety:

[jevus]

funny how everyone says they wipe standing when the poll is in the other direction.

[TheEndruu]

STANDING UP!??! Just kidding, seriously though, I didn't know ANYONE did it while standing up. Like, TWD, I thought everyone did it siting.

[jevus]

thats right. i mean when you stand up you wont be able to wipe EVERYTHING, its discusting, cuz when you stand up you squish the sh!t. (i know, a disturbing iamge)

[[Bean]]

what about column a starter and a column b finisher?

[Original9]

Do you reach between your legs or do you lean forward and reach around behind/beside?

Reach around.

[phatcat]

ok, now to tell you what we found out when john asked this. we all said "sitting down" while Clint said "standing up" there was a long pause. John said "dude, that fu*k'n nasty! you know what I think of when you say, when you smear peanutbutter and slap'em together!!" man we busted out laughing at poor clint :D
*sigh*
good times...
good times :)

[OM {god}]

edit the poll to put "SQUAT"

:D

[Beowolf]

thats right. i mean when you stand up you wont be able to wipe EVERYTHING, its discusting, cuz when you stand up you squish the sh!t. (i know, a disturbing iamge)

lmao!

Hmm...half way, i'll say.

This thread certainly is....enteraining.

[|pOt|fArMeRx]

also, it would most likely be beneficial to recieve feedback as to wether you wipe towards your balls, or away from..

[TheEndruu]

I wipe in the direction away from the balls.

[jevus]

to |pOt|fArMeRx
ok, why dont you just ask how fast you stroke ur goddamn dick!



jesus

[Thrash123]

I do it standing up - however, I bend over as if I were sitting (meaning, in theory, I am only bending my knees to get a vertical position), therefore preventing any squish from happening.

:P

[TomWithTheWeather]

to |pOt|fArMeRx
ok, why dont you just ask how fast you stroke ur goddamn dick!



jesus

I assume the strokes arefairly fast seeing as how he doesn't have far to go...

[jevus]

I do it standing up - however, I bend over as if I were sitting (meaning, in theory, I am only bending my knees to get a vertical position), therefore preventing any squish from happening.

:P


OMFGROFL THATS ****IN FUNNY!

[jevus]

I assume the strokes arefairly fast seeing as how he doesn't have far to go...


thanx for the info! :mad: , and...























BUUUURN!


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[TossMonkey]

You guys must either have skinny butts or really huge toilets to be able to fit your ass and your hand down there to wipe.

I stand up.

[Hunter]

/me doesn't say

[Cunubelin]

Neither.
Allow me to explain.
1. Take dump. (sitting down normally but occasionally I do other positions just for laughs.)

2. Make sure I'm 'empty'.

3. Go outside and sit on the lawn.

4. Drag butt in nice symmetrical lines across the lawn.

This procedure has the added benefit of being very good for your lawn. Good fertilizer. Just stay away from swedish peasoup and 'go'! :D

There is an alternative to this procedure and that is to take the dump directly on the lawn and then go about to smear it evenly across it.

A good hint when you're about to wipe the Precious is to dig your heels in to the grass with straight legs then place your hands on the ground on both sides by your hips. Then you go on to sort of 'push-drag' yourself comfortably.

:D

I'm normal. It's the rest of the world that's crazy! :)

[Hunter]

Neither.
Allow me to explain.
1. Take dump. (sitting down normally but occasionally I do other positions just for laughs.)

2. Make sure I'm 'empty'.

3. Go outside and sit on the lawn.

4. Drag butt in nice symmetrical lines across the lawn.



bwaahahaha!!11 :lol:

[Twisted Metal]

There shouldn't be any squishing while standing up assuming you don't have diarheaa or mushy poo still stuck in your ass because the muscle contractions or whatever push all of it out. Unless of course you have a defective anus.

And if you wipe towards your balls you are an idiot, because you are probably dragging all the sh*t down there and it will probably get caught in your pubic hair.

And I doubt anyone stands straight up while wiping, there's always a little bending of the knees.

[tool]

stand up, wipe, repeat

cant believe im posting in this thread, this is so degrading. ;) :D

[phatcat]

who the hell has hair on the back of their testicular area?? :con:
and what do you do about dangling doo-doo? that is where you get your but-poo-squish issues. I feel sorry whoever does your whites/boxers ;)

[Thrash123]

Phat: Hairy guys have hair in a lot of places. And lots of it.

You know what you do with the dangly doo? You pull it off with toilet paper. Simple.

[Twisted Metal]

My whites/boxers have no stains at all on them. The reason is that I am a clean freak when it comes to hygiene. I wipe and I keep wiping until the tissue paper comes out totally white with nothing at all on it, and believe me I wipe pretty hard to get it all clean. As a result I spend a long time in the bathroom, and have to keep waiting for the damn toilet to refill but it's worth it because I have the cleanest ass in town. :D

[PhrozeN]

This is what I use

http://www.reliablepowertools.com/br400.gif

[Assymilator]

I stand up.

[Jancaz Bru]

Standing up to wipe boggles me mind, why the feck would you stand up. I wipe sitting down O_o.

[jevus]

most ppl wipe sitting down. but then again theres those who like to squish their doo-doo ;)

[Wolf Blackstar]

You guys must either have skinny butts or really huge toilets to be able to fit your ass and your hand down there to wipe.


Anyone remember CHRYSt's "one-cheek-lean" method? Solves that problem nicely.

[Pat]

to |pOt|fArMeRx
ok, why dont you just ask how fast you stroke ur goddamn dick!



jesus


Make sure not to do it to techno unless you are confident you can keep up with the beat.

[phatcat]

Make sure not to do it to techno unless you are confident you can keep up with the beat.

one word...

callous

[flookster]

http://www.robinson.uk.com/pages/images/babycare/wipes.jpg

I like to polish up with one of these....hmm...fresh!

[|pOt|fArMeRx]

I assume the strokes arefairly fast seeing as how he doesn't have far to go...


Hardy har har.. well mr map maker joo are in for the battle of your lifetime! my wang is so big, it reaches from one end of bollwerk ruins to the other..

[TossMonkey]

flookster, me too.

As for the comments about standing up having poop squish in your cheeks is nonsense, if you hold your cheeks apart as you stand you can get a good clean wipe down there. If anything sitting down makes you more prone to getting your cheeks covered in bum dirt.

[Super Feen]

lean on my left cheek to lift my right one, using my right hand i wipe away from the balls. By using the leaning technique, you get a better spread of the cheeks therefore a more effective wipe.

[Jancaz Bru]

I've been using the one cheek lean method since I was 10 :o

[masamax]

I stand up but lean over. I also hold one ass cheek when I wipe.

[TomWithTheWeather]

Hardy har har.. well mr map maker joo are in for the battle of your lifetime! my wang is so big, it reaches from one end of bollwerk ruins to the other..

:p

[DRT-Maverick]

Unless this is a bump it's been done hasn't it?